[Northern Monkey]

I think a balance is needed.Firm but fair seems to work for me.It's all fun and games until they're naughty and then they have to "respect maa authorataaaay!"
I don't need to smack them.I'm scary enough without that

[ChristmasNeeve]

Originally Posted by Northern Monkey

I think a balance is needed.Firm but fair seems to work for me.It's all fun and games until they're naughty and then they have "respect maa authorataaaay!"
I don't need to smack them.I'm scary enough without that

Yeah I agree with that, sometimes people on the side of smacking kids assume that you're some sort of push over parent who never disciplines their kids just because they don't agree with smacking, that's not the case at all

[rubymoo]

Originally Posted by Northern Monkey

I think a balance is needed.Firm but fair seems to work for me.It's all fun and games until they're naughty and then they have to "respect maa authorataaaay!"
I don't need to smack them.I'm scary enough without that

Completely agree, i've never smacked my girls, i just have to give them a look and they know to reign it in, and i find that if they misbehave i just have to use the words "i'm so disappointed with your behaviour...." that sentence works wonders as no-one likes to disappoint anyone

[Northern Monkey]

Originally Posted by rubymoo

Completely agree, i've never smacked my girls, i just have to give them a look and they know to reign it in, and i find that if they misbehave i just have to use the words "i'm so disappointed with your behaviour...." that sentence works wonders as no-one likes to disappoint anyone

The stare usually works.If it does'nt then "Get up those stairs now and don't even think! About coming down here!"said loudly with conviction does the trick.I've even scared the misses when i've shouted at my eldest.lol.
If they don't expect it the impact is immense.Shouting if not over used and done with conviction can be a devastating tool to have in ones arsenal.

[user104658]

Originally Posted by Northern Monkey

The stare usually works.If it does'nt then "Get up those stairs now and don't even think! About coming down here!"said loudly with conviction does the trick.I've even scared the misses when i've shouted at my eldest.lol.
If they don't expect it the impact is immense.Shouting if not over used and done with conviction can be a devastating tool to have in ones arsenal.

See, the logic doesn't work for me. Again it's about the equality aspect; if someone was to shout full force at me, I wouldn't obey them or respect them, I'd be tempted to give THEM a smack in the face.

Therefore, I don't expect my daughters to obey or respect someone who shouts at them. I teach them exactly the opposite . Someone who needs to raise their voice to make themselves understood is not deserving of my (or their) respect.

[Northern Monkey]

Originally Posted by Toy Soldier

See, the logic doesn't work for me. Again it's about the equality aspect; if someone was to shout full force at me, I wouldn't obey them or respect them, I'd be tempted to give THEM a smack in the face.

Therefore, I don't expect my daughters to obey or respect someone who shouts at them. I teach them exactly the opposite . Someone who needs to raise their voice to make themselves understood is not deserving of my (or their) respect.

Look after my kids for a week.You'll be shouting soon enough

[user104658]

Originally Posted by Northern Monkey

Look after my kids for a week.You'll be shouting soon enough

My daughter is a 6-year-old teenager, she drives me insane half the time and I'd be lying if I said I've never raised my voice... but, it just makes her (quite rightly) even angrier, it doesn't work to stop her behaviour because (again, quite rightly...) she isn't in any way scared of me... she doesn't feel threatened, so it's just me being obnoxious.

Again, like I said, if another adult took it upon themselves to shout at me or raise their voice with me in the real world, they'd be swiftly told where to go. I don't see why the reaction should have to be any different for children. It does work both ways though; if she starts shouting at me I just tell her that I'm not listening and to **** off until she's calmed down, at which point I will listen .

When she was 3/4 I used to tell her that I couldn't understand shouting, it just sounded like loud noises, and pretend to look really confused. Gutted when that one stopped working, haha.

[ChristmasNeeve]

Originally Posted by Toy Soldier

My daughter is a 6-year-old teenager, she drives me insane half the time and I'd be lying if I said I've never raised my voice... but, it just makes her (quite rightly) even angrier, it doesn't work to stop her behaviour because (again, quite rightly...) she isn't in any way scared of me... she doesn't feel threatened, so it's just me being obnoxious.

Again, like I said, if another adult took it upon themselves to shout at me or raise their voice with me in the real world, they'd be swiftly told where to go. I don't see why the reaction should have to be any different for children. It does work both ways though; if she starts shouting at me I just tell her that I'm not listening and to **** off until she's calmed down, at which point I will listen .

When she was 3/4 I used to tell her that I couldn't understand shouting, it just sounded like loud noises, and pretend to look really confused. Gutted when that one stopped working, haha.

hahahaha that's actually pretty brilliant

[Northern Monkey]

Originally Posted by Toy Soldier

My daughter is a 6-year-old teenager, she drives me insane half the time and I'd be lying if I said I've never raised my voice... but, it just makes her (quite rightly) even angrier, it doesn't work to stop her behaviour because (again, quite rightly...) she isn't in any way scared of me... she doesn't feel threatened, so it's just me being obnoxious.

Again, like I said, if another adult took it upon themselves to shout at me or raise their voice with me in the real world, they'd be swiftly told where to go. I don't see why the reaction should have to be any different for children. It does work both ways though; if she starts shouting at me I just tell her that I'm not listening and to **** off until she's calmed down, at which point I will listen .

When she was 3/4 I used to tell her that I couldn't understand shouting, it just sounded like loud noises, and pretend to look really confused. Gutted when that one stopped working, haha.

I'm gonna try that one.It might just work since i've never done it.

[Cherry Christmas]

Originally Posted by Northern Monkey

Look after my kids for a week.You'll be shouting soon enough