[user104658]

"You definitely win the prize for best linkedin picture I have ever seen"

...Note to self: Linked-In is not a very good dating resource.




Being serious though... no it was not appropriate for him to be sending messages like that, and it's also more than a little bit... err... sad. Guy's a sad-sack. Boo hoo.

On the other hand, it's not really a case of either "she should accept the compliment" or "how she responded was fine". She could have told him - firmly, politely, but discreetly - that he was being an inappropriate greasy creeper and hopefully he would have gotten the message. She didn't really need to go full nuclear on him, and it certainly didn't all need to be made public...

[Cherie]

Originally Posted by Toy Soldier

"You definitely win the prize for best linkedin picture I have ever seen"

...Note to self: Linked-In is not a very good dating resource.




Being serious though... no it was not appropriate for him to be sending messages like that, and it's also more than a little bit... err... sad. Guy's a sad-sack. Boo hoo.

On the other hand, it's not really a case of either "she should accept the compliment" or "how she responded was fine". She could have told him - firmly, politely, but discreetly - that he was being an inappropriate greasy creeper and hopefully he would have gotten the message. She didn't really need to go full nuclear on him, and it certainly didn't all need to be made public...

As Kizzy says maybe it was the final straw?

[Tom4784]

Inappropriate but she should have just dealt with it privately, by going public in such an opportunistic fashion she has sadly cheapened any valid points she may have had.

Originally Posted by Cherie

As Kizzy says maybe it was the final straw?

Maybes don't make for compelling arguments.

[Cherie]

Originally Posted by Dezzy

Inappropriate but she should have just dealt with it privately, by going public in such an opportunistic fashion she has sadly cheapened any valid points she may have had.



Maybes don't make for compelling arguments.

Whatever made her react she was completely within her rights, receiving a message from a complete stranger is creepy she did right to nip it in the bud and also by broadcasting it, she has effectively ensured no one else will be approached in that way, male or female

[Tom4784]

Originally Posted by Cherie

Whatever made her react she was completely within her rights, receiving a message from a complete stranger is creepy she did right to nip it in the bud and also by broadcasting it, she has effectively ensured no one else will be approached in that way, male or female

Such naďveté.

I never said she wasn't within her rights to nip it in the bud so I'm not sure what you've been reading to suggest I haven't but nothing she has done since will benefit anyone in her situation, she's took the opportunity to make some money from it and that's all.

[Kizzy]

Originally Posted by Dezzy

Maybes don't make for compelling arguments.

We don't know her so we can't know her reasoning can we? :/

She could be a ball breaker she could also be the victim of years of sexual harassment, who knows...
Waiting for #pervshaming to be a 'thing'.

[Tom4784]

Originally Posted by Kizzy

We don't know her so we can't know her reasoning can we? :/

She could be a ball breaker she could also be the victim of years of sexual harassment, who knows...
Waiting for #pervshaming to be a 'thing'.

We can only judge by what's written.

[user104658]

Originally Posted by Cherie

As Kizzy says maybe it was the final straw?

Maybe, but that would suggest she has handled it better with other perves in the past, but this one was just one too many. That doesn't make it right. Nothing he said was aggressive, and it was one message not relentless pestering. The fact that OTHER people have done the same doesn't make it right for her to take it all out on this one. She could have handled it discreetly and still written about it in anger without naming and shaming one man.

Or, if she really felt it important to name and shame, and it was because of this sort of thing happening frequently, she should have named and shamed ALL of the men who got her to this point.

Basically... I don't see how it's fair or just for one person to take the flak for himself AND everyone else, with his face and name all over it, whilst the others who played just as big a part in getting her to breaking point (hypothetically, we don't even know if that's the case) sit at home safe in anonymity.

Also, we don't know if this man has sent similar messages to others in the past and been told that it's nice to be complimented. He might have messaged Livia the week before, and have been hoping for similar success.

[Cherie]

Originally Posted by Toy Soldier

Maybe, but that would suggest she has handled it better with other perves in the past, but this one was just one too many. That doesn't make it right. Nothing he said was aggressive, and it was one message not relentless pestering. The fact that OTHER people have done the same doesn't make it right for her to take it all out on this one. She could have handled it discreetly and still written about it in anger without naming and shaming one man.

Or, if she really felt it important to name and shame, and it was because of this sort of thing happening frequently, she should have named and shamed ALL of the men who got her to this point.

Basically... I don't see how it's fair or just for one person to take the flak for himself AND everyone else, with his face and name all over it, whilst the others who played just as big a part in getting her to breaking point (hypothetically, we don't even know if that's the case) sit at home safe in anonymity.

Also, we don't know if this man has sent similar messages to others in the past and been told that it's nice to be complimented. He might have messaged Livia the week before, and have been hoping for similar success.

maybe he has had success in the past, but maybe he has also been a bit of a pest, only she knows the full story, I can't see that she did anything wrong in naming him.

[Kizzy]

I just hope her actions don't come back to lightly tap her on the arse......

[Crimson Dynamo]

the way it probably went was he was out for a boozy lunch and came back and did a bit of browsing and chanced his arm.

I agree with Kizzy that perhaps it was one too many "compliments" in that profession

But, she should have been far cleverer - if she wants to get on in that career, than what she did. Now she is damaged goods and its a tight nit community.

[Vanessa]

She got upest, because he complimented her appearance? Seems over the top to me.

[Livia]

Originally Posted by LeatherTrumpet

the way it probably went was he was out for a boozy lunch and came back and did a bit of browsing and chanced his arm.

I agree with Kizzy that perhaps it was one too many "compliments" in that profession

But, she should have been far cleverer - if she wants to get on in that career, than what she did. Now she is damaged goods and its a tight nit community.

Kizzy knows as much about the legal profession as you do, Trumpet.

She knew what going public with this would do... and if that message sent her over the top she should think about a change of direction, professionally.

[Kizzy]

Originally Posted by Livia

Kizzy knows as much about the legal profession as you do, Trumpet.

She knew what going public with this would do... and if that message sent her over the top she should think about a change of direction, professionally.

Is this site for the opinions of all or just those with some direct link to the subject matter?

[Livia]

Originally Posted by Kizzy

Is this site for the opinions of all or just those with some direct link to the subject matter?

You're right. Even when those opinions are based on absolutely nothing I would uphold your right to post them.

[Kizzy]

Originally Posted by Livia

You're right. Even when those opinions are based on absolutely nothing I would uphold your right to post them.

Excuse me? we have the text as a reference and I based my opinion on that the same as everyone else :/

[Livia]

I wonder how the other barristers in her chambers feel about her? I'd be interested to know. Hope her clerk's a woman who's hyper-sensitive to compliments or she's on all the sh1t jobs.

[Lostie!]

The woman seems to have a million chips on her shoulder.

[Niamh.]

That Adam is an awful perve though tbf

[Cherie]

Originally Posted by Niamh.

That Adam is an awful perve though tbf

I have no sympathy for Adam

[smudgie]

No mention of her ageism then.
She felt the need to put in brackets the age difference.
Bloody ageist.

Perhaps LinkedIn isn't the place to be passing compliments, but her response was tad over the top.

[Livia]

Originally Posted by smudgie

No mention of her ageism then.
She felt the need to put in brackets the age difference.
Bloody ageist.

Perhaps LinkedIn isn't the place to be passing compliments, but her response was tad over the top.

Haha... excellent point Smudgie.

[Cherie]

I thought she was saying at his age he should have known better?

[kirklancaster]

Much Ado About Nothing - Unless he was a bit of a King LEER. In which case he is nothing more than a Richard The Third.

[Lostie!]

Originally Posted by Cherie

I thought she was saying at his age he should have known better?

Doesn't seem to be the case to me, it was a less a matter of her pointing out his age and more a case of her pointing out that she is half his age.

I do wonder how she'd feel about a younger man essentially telling an older woman that she's too old to be flirting with him and if she'd pull out the "misogynist" card in that case too.