[chuff me dizzy]

Originally Posted by Nicky91

the irony with you saying this lol

The irony of you of all people commenting on it my lovely

[Alf]

Originally Posted by Niamh.

So when you smack a child, is the aim to hurt them or not?

It's to teach them it's wrong, and that when you do wrong there are consequences.

A smacked arse will make a child cry, but it doesn't physically hurt them that much (they'll hurt themselves much more playing with their friends and laugh about it) The reason they cry is because they realise they've done wrong and let down the people who love and care for them, and that makes them think twice about doing it again.

[Niamh.]

Originally Posted by Alf

It's to teach them it's wrong, and that when you do wrong there are consequences.

A smacked arse will make a child cry, but it doesn't physically hurt them that much (they'll hurt themselves much more playing with their friends and laugh about it) The reason they cry is because they realise they've done wrong and let down the people who love and care for them, and that makes them think twice about doing it again.

Oh come off it

[Ashley.]

Originally Posted by chuff me dizzy

I dont know the other members you talk about if you are referring to me and dont know who has or has not got children ,but I know he hasn't .......Am I bullying him again

So what was the point of this post, then:

Originally Posted by chuff me dizzy

How many children do you have ?

I'm not usually one to call out baiting, but... come on.

[AnnieK]

As I said in another thread being a parent doesn't mean you are suddenly gifted with magical powers and the becoming the absolute oracle on parenting overnight. Everyone in this thread and has been a child who had parents and so are as qualified to talk about their own opinions and experiences on how they were disciplined and how they will discipline . I was smacked, did me no harm my parents were fantastic, I don't smack my son, I am a good mum....two very different experiences in one family turned out ok, my son is practically an angel compared to a lot of kids his age (who may or may not receive a crack for bad behaviour)

[chuff me dizzy]

Originally Posted by Toy Soldier

See I agree with all of that; kids who go out of control do so because they aren't getting to spend quality time with their families or increasingly even their peers.

We've had flak (especially online) in the past for the fact that our daughter has been allowed to "play out" with her friends since she was 7...which was totally normal when I was a kid... But a lot of people now say they shouldn't be out without an adult until the age of 12!? Which is madness. I mean I get it for those who have no choice but to live in inner-city areas but in smaller, safer places even though there will always be risks, the tradeoff by not allowing kids any freedom is life-long and huge. A generation of timid, risk-averse, socially anxious young adults.

Of course, hitting / not hitting doesn't come into that at all.

Its awful, I feel so sorry for a lot of children who live near me, they stand no hope in life ,my children played out too when they were your childs age it was safe to do so, I much prefer a child playing out ( if safe to do so ) than stuck in a bedroom alone playing on an xbox ,Parents are so different now, the children dont come 1st despite putting "LuvsHerKids" in their facebook name

[Niamh.]

Originally Posted by AnnieK

As I said in another thread being a parent doesn't mean you are suddenly gifted with magical powers and the becoming the absolute oracle on parenting overnight. Everyone in this thread and has been a child who had parents and so are as qualified to talk about their own opinions and experiences on how they were disciplined and how they will discipline . I was smacked, did me no harm my parents were fantastic, I don't smack my son, I am a good mum....two very different experiences in one family turned out ok, my son is practically an angel compared to a lot of kids his age (who may or may not receive a crack for bad behaviour)

No he isn't you only think that apparently

[AnnieK]

Originally Posted by Niamh.

No he isn't you only think that apparently

Hi teachers, his friends parents, my friends, the neighbours etc are all lying to me??? Oh my god, I'll give him the hiding of his life tonight?

Funny thing is - I said once that my mum gave me a good hiding when I was little and asked him (jokingly) if he wanted one.......he said yes. Had no idea what it was but heard the good thing and thought it was a treat.....

[chuff me dizzy]

Originally Posted by Alf

It's to teach them it's wrong, and that when you do wrong there are consequences.

A smacked arse will make a child cry, but it doesn't physically hurt them that much (they'll hurt themselves much more playing with their friends and laugh about it) The reason they cry is because they realise they've done wrong and let down the people who love and care for them, and that makes them think twice about doing it again.

Agree

[Ashley.]

Originally Posted by AnnieK

As I said in another thread being a parent doesn't mean you are suddenly gifted with magical powers and the becoming the absolute oracle on parenting overnight. Everyone in this thread and has been a child who had parents and so are as qualified to talk about their own opinions and experiences on how they were disciplined and how they will discipline . I was smacked, did me no harm my parents were fantastic, I don't smack my son, I am a good mum....two very different experiences in one family turned out ok, my son is practically an angel compared to a lot of kids his age (who may or may not receive a crack for bad behaviour)

I was going to say a few pages back... Nobody really knows how to raise a child, whether you're a parent or not. You don't receive a guide, there is no course or degree that could prepare you for such a responsibility, and there aren't a long list of rules to go by either. I can't speak from experience because I can't have children, but I can speak on behalf of the people I have met and I think I can say that most parents are just doing their best. And that's usually enough.

And that being said, I do believe that people who hit their children could do much better.

[Niamh.]

Originally Posted by AnnieK

Hi teachers, his friends parents, my friends, the neighbours etc are all lying to me??? Oh my god, I'll give him the hiding of his life tonight?

Funny thing is - I said once that my mum gave me a good hiding when I was little and asked him (jokingly) if he wanted one.......he said yes. Had no idea what it was but heard the good thing and thought it was a treat.....

Same with mine, people were always commenting on how well behaved they were when they were young, course my daughter is 18 now so an adult really, still doesn't even drink

[Matthew.]

Originally Posted by Nicky91

i got stomped on my head whenever i did throw a tantrum, and that made me cry a lot


not just slapped but a stomp from my mom or dad's fist, so now i know that i should behave, and count to 10 whenever i am tempted to throw a tantrum once again

i have to ask, you mean “stomped” as in slamming their foot onto your head? that’s absolutely horrific, surely that can cause head injury depending on how hard they did it, but the way you say stomp makes it sound pretty hard.

there is never an excuse for hitting your child. ever.

[chuff me dizzy]

Originally Posted by AnnieK

Hi teachers, his friends parents, my friends, the neighbours etc are all lying to me??? Oh my god, I'll give him the hiding of his life tonight?

Funny thing is - I said once that my mum gave me a good hiding when I was little and asked him (jokingly) if he wanted one.......he said yes. Had no idea what it was but heard the good thing and thought it was a treat.....

Sounds like you and Niamh have done a good job raising your children ,but not everyone has, and discipline must be taught at home ,as it cannot nowadays be taught in schools, and i have 4 children and none of them drink

[Beso]

Would you hit a dog should be the next topic.

[Niamh.]

Originally Posted by chuff me dizzy

Sounds like you and Niamh have done a good job raising your children ,but not everyone has, and discipline must be taught at home ,as it cannot nowadays be taught in schools, and i have 4 children and none of them drink

I don't think any of us are disagreeing there, it's just the methods of discipline really

[Niamh.]

Originally Posted by parmnion

Would you hit a dog should be the next topic.

yeah, I bet less people would agree with hitting a dog as well which is odd or maybe they wouldn't, you should start that though, now I'm curious

[user104658]

Originally Posted by Alf

A smacked arse will make a child cry, but it doesn't physically hurt them that much (they'll hurt themselves much more playing with their friends and laugh about it) The reason they cry is because they realise they've done wrong and let down the people who love and care for them, and that makes them think twice about doing it again.

If that was the case then why wouldn't talking to them have exactly the same effect . Or is it just quicker / easier to throw a hand at them than have a serious chat? Unless we're talking about kids who aren't even old enough to talk? In which case there's really no excuse AT ALL for using violence.

[Redway]

LMAO. We get more stupidly PC by the hour.

[user104658]

Originally Posted by parmnion

Would you hit a dog should be the next topic.

Originally Posted by Niamh.

yeah, I bet less people would agree with hitting a dog as well which is odd or maybe they wouldn't, you should start that though, now I'm curious

There are definitely plenty of people who will happily smack their kids but would go nuts if they saw someone hit a dog. I don't know how they reconcile the two stances in their head

[user104658]

Originally Posted by Redway

LMAO. We get more stupidly PC by the hour.

I can see you've put a lot of thought into this so I guess we have to respect your stance.

[Niamh.]

Originally Posted by Redway

LMAO. We get more stupidly PC by the hour.

It's "political correctness" gone crazy not to hit another human being, one way smaller than you? My parents didn't hit me waaay before it was cool then, hipsters of their day

[Beso]

Thinking about it though, maybe how the smacked child turns out as an adult is down to the kids dna rather than the smacking...lots on here were smacked and it looks like some dealt with it better than others....

[Alf]

Originally Posted by Toy Soldier

If that was the case then why wouldn't talking to them have exactly the same effect . Or is it just quicker / easier to throw a hand at them than have a serious chat? Unless we're talking about kids who aren't even old enough to talk? In which case there's really no excuse AT ALL for using violence.

I'd say difference is that they create different amounts of emotion in the child.

Smacking a child shocks the child, and they realise the seriousness of what they have done, while talking to them can go in one ear and out of the other, most children don't have a great attention span.

[Kizzy]

Originally Posted by Adam.

I think you are failing to take in what I said??

My mum was beaten black and blue for things such as smoking or having a bf or stuff like that

So threw her experiences she knew what real punishment was and that allowed her to give her kids a total different punishment to which she received

Failing to take in?... How am I to know that's what you were inferring :/

I still don't know if you were smacked or not, your mothers experience was horrible I appreciate why she wouldn't want to revisit that with her own kids no matter how traditional.

[RichardG]

there's nothing wrong with a quick slap every now and then, it never did me any harm. so long as it's a fairly rare occurrence, and so long as it's not too hard of course.