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Amy Jade · 05-12-2018, 10:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AnnieK

Is he cocky Amy?

I ask because when I was younger I made an awful first impression on anyone I met, I was terribly shy and so everyone thought I was moody and a bit ****ty....I wasn't but thats how it cane across.

If you really like him and he's not a cocky arse, talk to your mum. Ask her to trust your judgement and try again, one on one he will probably be a different person than meeting him on a night out etc...

No boy is really worth falling out with your mum over....unless you're really serious about him but saying that...it's your life too.

God, I'm no help am I?

I wouldn't say cocky. Confident yes but he's not arrogant, that would be a deal breaker for me. He's very chatty though. My step dad liked him but my mum is being quite toxic about him.

Example we went to see Creed ll and if I was with the girls she would have just said enjoy or whatever but she made a passive aggresive comment about it being a sports film and asked sarcastically if it was my choice.

Amy Jade · 05-12-2018, 10:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Marsh.

Is he cocky?

I'd say it is a little judgemental after only one meeting, but he must have made quite an impression.

I'd say it's your mum and probably nobody will be good enough for her daughter, but if this relationship lasts the course there will come a time she'll give him more of a chance and get to know him better. Now, whether that will lead to better or worse results depends on your boyfriend.

Honestly no I wouldn't say so, confident yes but he makes me feel confident too so I don't see it as a negative at all.

My mums not normally like that she''s normally really interested in my dates and stuff we are pretty close.

Marsh. · 05-12-2018, 10:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Amy Jade

Honestly no I wouldn't say so, confident yes but he makes me feel confident too so I don't see it as a negative at all.

My mums not normally like that she''s normally really interested in my dates and stuff we are pretty close.

Aww, it was probably just a bad first impression then. She'll come round if he is a nice bloke.

If that is the only time they've met then there's plenty of opportunity to fix it.

Even if it takes a bit of overdoing it like "Omg, LOOK what he's done for me for Christmas!!"

Zizu · 05-12-2018, 10:33 PM

I still think it's down to him to win her mother over tbh

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Marsh. · 05-12-2018, 10:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Zizu

I still think it's down to him to win her mother over tbh

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Yes, but equally, it's down to her mum to give him a fair chance.

There's no winning over someone who is stubborn and refuses to accept they might be wrong.

Ant. · 05-12-2018, 10:34 PM

I've no idea on how far in you are with your relationship but you clearly know your boyfriend better than your mum, your mum veeerry likely just had a bad first impression with him. Also I could only guess there's an inkling of "my daughter deserve better!" and her wanting you to have what's best, and even if he is the best for you (I feel bad using 'if' but as I say, I don't know him) your mum wouldn't know that

what matters is your happiness. And besides, some people that don't like each other end up being the best of friends. Who knows, your mum and boyfriend may become the best of friends

Amy Jade · 05-12-2018, 10:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Maru

Knowing nothing about you and your mom's relationship, I would ask yourself if she's a good judge of character on this particular issue. You only met him 2 weeks ago and were pretty hasty to bring him to the house, so maybe it is seen as jumping the gun (or been seen that way)... and if he was actually "cocky" with such a short relationship, maybe the relationship has gone to his head quite a bit for such a short period and she may see it as a red flag

Mothers are protective of their kids, but maybe consider with how short the relationship is, him being cocky may not have been OK for someone she (and you) barely know in this way. Some people really value their family's opinion, to the extent they will break up with folk... others, they don't have that kind of family anyway. So consider where her opinion matters for you.

I almost always think it is worth an argument to speak with someone I care about about issues between us. The exception is when the person is already well aware of the conflict they are causing or if there are emotional problems that cause them to act a certain way...

The other possibility. If you've had a string of bad relationships, then your mother may be overly protective and erring on the side of viligence. It's stressful to see someone we care about get hurt over and over again... and if he's cocky, and she's seen you've been majorly mistreated, then she may be drawing boundaries where she can in order thinking hopefully you'll get the message... after all, if you're old enough she can't tell you what to do, then this may be her way of not only warning off the bf but you for who you bring home... (again knowing nothing about your history) ...

If you really feel it will risk a major argument, then consider that there is more going on with her opinion than just the bf... if she is just this opinionated in general, then obviously the context would be very different... some people are just judgemental, but because of how blunt she was, maybe he did something that she felt went way over the line... and she is not good at putting that into words except for sounding overly critical. Sometimes that's not clear what is really felt when people are upset... you could wait until she's less upset.

If this is your mom, then I think give her the space "to be" who she is, and maybe respect her wishes... at least until until (and if) the relationship is far more serious... maybe also give it more time before bringing someone home, that way you have more experience with that person, you can use that to explain some of their behavior if your mom is a nit-picker... again, all depends on context and a ton of variables

... it could just be that they're oil & water... it happens.

I've know him a while and she met him at a party (a family friends birthday) before I even suggested he might come to the house and it was only to pick me up and I just said he might pop in she said no and made an excuse that she was in her pjs.

I get the protective part but it doesn't feel like that it feels petty with some of the comments she makes and I have only ever had one long term relationship and my mum still talks to him as far as I know and he cheated on me so she's not exactly the type to draw blood if anyone hurts me if that makes sense.

Maru · 05-12-2018, 10:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Amy Jade

I've know him a while and she met him at a party (a family friends birthday) before I even suggested he might come to the house and it was only to pick me up and I just said he might pop in she said no and made an excuse that she was in her pjs.

I get the protective part but it doesn't feel like that it feels petty with some of the comments she makes and I have only ever had one long term relationship and my mum still talks to him as far as I know and he cheated on me so she's not exactly the type to draw blood if anyone hurts me if that makes sense.

Any chance your mom is maybe a bit codependent?

Amy Jade · 05-12-2018, 10:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Marsh.

Aww, it was probably just a bad first impression then. She'll come round if he is a nice bloke.

If that is the only time they've met then there's plenty of opportunity to fix it.

Even if it takes a bit of overdoing it like "Omg, LOOK what he's done for me for Christmas!!"

I think she just wants to dislike him or something though it's frustrating and I heard her say to her friend she can't bare him and he's a knob and I just find her reaction extreme.

Amy Jade · 05-12-2018, 10:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Maru

Any chance your mom is maybe a bit codependent?

No not at all she's glad when I go away from the weekend or am on call all day in work on her days off

Denver · 05-12-2018, 10:52 PM

Has he got a big dick? if not dump him

Marsh. · 05-12-2018, 11:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Amy Jade

I think she just wants to dislike him or something though it's frustrating and I heard her say to her friend she can't bare him and he's a knob and I just find her reaction extreme.

SHE'S SLEEPING WITH HIM!!

Maru · 05-12-2018, 11:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Amy Jade

No not at all she's glad when I go away from the weekend or am on call all day in work on her days off

Codependency doesn't necessarily infer clinginess. It can just mean we become too "enmeshed" when we are around certain people. For example, we internalize other people's experiences as our own. It doesn't have to be all the time. Just enough that in certain instances, that how someone may rub us the wrong way may affect us more the way they're attached to someone we care about than if it were just another Tim, Dick & Harry off the street... codependency isn't always unhealthy either (but can complicate changes in your environment)

Maybe more likely, it just sounds like she thinks he's a prick.

Because "cocky" isn't always bad... if it helps to raise your self-esteem, that's a good thing. As long as you feel it's in healthy balance with your own personality and he's not domineering with you. Maybe your mother can see things you can't, so I wonder could that if you have a close relationship. After all, it's a bit different when he is just a friend... relationship material is a different story.

I had a male best friend who I was attached with nearly daily for about a decade and he came and went from my family's home. We would take bus trips downtown and do all kinds of traveling... but had we ever got into a relationship, I don't think my family would've approved. We were too brother-sister like... keeping in my mind, my husband was never threatened when we were dating with how much time we spent to gether. Probably because yes, we argued too much... like brother and sister...

Maru · 05-12-2018, 11:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Adam.

Has he got a big dick? if not dump him

*/big butts*

Spoiler:

rusticgal · 05-12-2018, 11:46 PM

If you are close to your mum you should be able to talk to her...ask her why she thinks he is cocky..and tell her how much you like him and how he makes you feel. Tell her it's unfair that she hasn't given him a chance and ask her to do it for you.
Every parent wants the best for their children...maybe she has heard things about him that she doesn't like..

Ask her to give him a chance...and take it from there. If she sees how happy he makes you she might change her mind. We all want our kids to be happy...but sometimes you can be blinded 'by love' and not see what is blatantly obvious to those who care about you.

thesheriff443 · 06-12-2018, 01:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Marsh.

I never called her a school girl.

I'd make a comment in kind but I really have no interest in what you "usually do".

Well we all know you want to be at the centre of any thread, trying to hold the moral high ground.

It’s also clear you did not quote everything I said only one part that you think makes you right.

You called Amy a young girl, when in reality she is an adult, anyways continue with your life on the forum however I have a real life in the real world.

My own daughter who is twenty four and autistic is currently having mental health problems which have escalated to her screaming and shouting and hitting herself violently around the head. We have not slepted for more than three hours a night for weeks while we are waiting on the mental health service

I rang the crisis team tonight as she begged to be taken to a secure unit, only for someone to tell me he can come out but with no meds, so yea I got a bit on my plate so forgive me if I don’t continue with the rather pointless chat.

Marsh. · 06-12-2018, 01:59 AM

If you have too much on your plate why respond at all?

Because it's clearly you trying to score "morality points" and make it all personal.

Oh, look, sheriff has a real life and real problems. Yeah, we all do. But I don't come in here looking for sympathy for it because someone used the word "girl", yeah that's right "girl", not "young girl".

Don't DARE presume to know anything about me or what I deal with off this forum and then give me a self pitying paragraph expecting sympathy!
Do one!

Twosugars · 06-12-2018, 02:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Amy Jade

I think she just wants to dislike him or something though it's frustrating and I heard her say to her friend she can't bare him and he's a knob and I just find her reaction extreme.

That is extreme
I'd tell her to mind her own business

AnnieK · 06-12-2018, 05:37 AM

If this is really out of character Amy, is there any way your mum could have seen / met / know of him before. It seems an intense dislike and if she's not like this with other guys you've dated could she know something about him that she's not telling you. I would sit down with her and have a chat and ask her to be honest. Tell her you really like him(if you do) and thats its important to you for her to give him a chance.

Hope it works out x

user104658 · 06-12-2018, 08:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Marsh.

on a forum having anal sex

Youtube video

user104658 · 06-12-2018, 08:27 AM

Don't worry about it Amycakes, my mother in law still doesn't like me and I'll have been with my wife for 12 years in April

.

thesheriff443 · 06-12-2018, 08:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Marsh.

If you have too much on your plate why respond at all?

Because it's clearly you trying to score "morality points" and make it all personal.

Oh, look, sheriff has a real life and real problems. Yeah, we all do. But I don't come in here looking for sympathy for it because someone used the word "girl", yeah that's right "girl", not "young girl".

Don't DARE presume to know anything about me or what I deal with off this forum and then give me a self pitying paragraph expecting sympathy!
Do one!

You are so deluded thinking I want sympathy from any one on here. And no I won’t do one!.