[Swan]

Originally Posted by Vicky.

May be massive lust for her then. From you describing them. That and relishing the attention of a guy she sees as..well I dont want to say perfect but..kinda there?! Would reinforce the 'it will never happen' aspect from her side too, if thats how it is. Again, if that makes sense?

That said, and I know this is overshare but meh. I had a kind of similar situation recently. Had met this guy in real life though so it was a bit different but I did get a kinda infatuation with him. He is ****ing stunning. Seriously. And seems so nice and funny and all that ****. Anyway, it was harmless flirting (for months and months on facebook after meeting him just once) to me as in my mind like **** would he ever have any interest. Well. Hes now not just a fantasy to me.

So again, the problem here is if the guy ever showed her genuine interest? Like, I imagine she would jump at the chance. To her, its not real or possible, but if he decided it should be real she would be happy.

Thinking this through properly, I say lose her before you get in deeper as this doesnt sound healthy for someone in a relationship..and I think you will end up hurt. Regardless.

I think that's the nail on head, deep down i know it is. Im just afraid to admit it to myself because when we feel this gut wrenching pain, we are looking for that slither of hope. She doesn't think he'd go for her, and in all honesty im not sure he would either (maybe he would, who knows). But yes she is there all the time with him trying to get him to show interest in her, and if he did/does i know she'd be gone for good, no matter what she says. She always says about he has so many people after him and he's never gonna go for her anyway. Im not willing to be 2nd best if this does go tits up for either.

I just dunno how she could do this to me, but what the heart wants and all that...And yes Vicky, the sun shines out his arse to her, everything he does is amazing.

It's really time for me to face reality, i know it is!

[Vicky.]

Originally Posted by Swan

I think that's the nail on head, deep down i know it is. Im just afraid to admit it to myself because when we feel this gut wrenching pain, we are looking for that slither of hope. She doesn't think he'd go for her, and in all honesty im not sure he would either (maybe he would, who knows). But yes she is there all the time with him trying to get him to show interest in her, and if he did/does i know she'd be gone for good, no matter what she says. She always says about he has so many people after him and he's never gonna go for her anyway. Im not willing to be 2nd best if this does go tits up for either.

I just dunno how she could do this to me, but what the heart wants and all that...And yes Vicky, the sun shines out his arse to her, everything he does is amazing.

It's really time for me to face reality, i know it is!

Well I thought this too

And am sure everyone else did looking at the pair of us tbh. I mean, its nowt serious but..still.

You need to end this really. Also, you sound like you are trying to put her down because you are feeling bad about her lusting after this other guy too? Like the 'shes not attractive' stuff. This might make you feel better about the whole situation but thats kinda not healthy either? It makes me think that you aren't happy either. So basically, best way it to just let her continue in her fantasy that would be reality if he decided so..and you find someone more suited?

[Swan]

Originally Posted by Vicky.

Well I thought this too

And am sure everyone else did looking at the pair of us tbh. I mean, its nowt serious but..still.

You need to end this really. Also, you sound like you are trying to put her down because you are feeling bad about her lusting after this other guy too? Like the 'shes not attractive' stuff. This might make you feel better about the whole situation but thats kinda not healthy either? It makes me think that you aren't happy either. So basically, best way it to just let her continue in her fantasy that would be reality if he decided so..and you find someone more suited?

Maybe, but don't get me wrong i think she's absolutely gorgeous. Maybe it's more hope thinking he wouldn't go for her, i mean it is really. To me she's perfect. Im clutching at straws hoping that the real reason she is lusting is because she wants the hot guy to notice her, which she has told me herself in the past that's never happened, idk.
We would get on so well ya know, just be completely ourselves with each other, no airs or graces.

[Vicky.]

I missed that you had not even met in real life

Definitely cut loose. And if you dont, dont whinge in a few months IF she ends up with him. Really. Its obviously what she wants, though thinks she will never get but would grab with both hands if there was a possibility. So on the offchance the possibility presents itself, protect yourself in advance.

Meanwhile for you to say shes gorgeous to you etc but others wouldnt think so makes me think you do not find her as gorgeous as you say you do but realise it doesnt look good to say...shes not a looker. I think I get where you are coming from but that bit kinda came off as..bitter.

I am in no position to give relationship advice right now (or maybe ever though) so I give honesty instead My own relationships are a slight ****show and I have given up on 'relationships' in general as really cant be arsed and friends with benefits situations seem the way forward Might suit you better. Maybe also, someone you can/have met in real life too? I mean, the other guy could be thinking the same..'omg we have something special but she will NOT stop talking to this other guy online!'