[Christmas Lights]

Originally Posted by Swan

Basically, i dunno if im looking for advice, still a bit baffled even though things are pretty clear now.

So we went no contact, she reached out a month a go, we've been going back and forth arguing (both don't wanna be with each other anymore, both can't let go). She is with this dude playing online, chatting, whatever almost every waking second they're not working/sleeping. 3 months, every day, 4-12 hours a day. Texting when at work. That's THEM, not me and her.

She wants to be friends with me, i said ok, and of course asked if she was in a relationship with him yet, she say's no, but that they are very close friends. She is at his beck and call 24/7, i know that much. And as most people said before, yeah she really likes him, she admitted that. She does wanna be with him, but wonders (kinda hinting for me to answer) why yes, he's with her all the time, but hasn't made a move yet. She said he's never brought up sex, and is never flirty. She tries to flirt sometimes, he just brushes it off. Also, they met ONCE in person before she went to Hull (where he lives) with her friends, they met for a morning, this was 3 months ago. He's a very, very outgoing person i know that much, and he's good looking, anyone can see that. I told her it was strange, and my honest opinion to her was (and this killed me because i still have feelings for her) that he obviously does like her, he spends so much time online gaming with her, and that maybe he's just taking his time. She just said 'thanks' and we argued more as to why we didn't work out.

Anyway, i dunno, it means nothing to me in the sense that she's admitted she wants to be with him, but is being with someone sometimes 12 hours a day, for 3 months, and NOT making a move too long? Has she been friendzoned? I dunno what to think. He knows she likes and wants him fwiw. I dunno what to tell her because i can only base on how i would act. And i know it's never taken me 3 months, when spending so much time with them, to know if i like them, like that or not. I've always known in the past.

Swan you need to just move on , and you probably won't like this but I think staying 'in contact' or whatever odd dynamic you still have with her is unhealthy . I think it's best to not engage anymore , it's her business what she wants to do with this guy whether they eventually date or not.


There's no point arguing with them , just wish them the best and carry on with your life. I think you got way too invested in this person, and you will never get over them if you continue to hold onto them .



You have an inspiring quote on your sig by Bruce Lee ,I think you should practice it . That's my advice anyway.