[Redway]

Originally Posted by Niamh.

It's a difficult one to answer,it really does depend on a lot of things for me

Yeah, it’s a tricky one. That’s why I made those poll options quite broad and detailed but that doesn’t even tell the half of it. It’s just something for people to think about across the course of the week, I suppose (the options are open indefinitely so people can tap in whenever).

Personally I try and see the world through a somewhat abstractly-accommodating lens if that makes any sense (in other words I might not be the first to jump into the fray of things when it comes to navigating relationships but at the same time I very much recognise that people are so different when it comes to boundaries and things that are and aren’t acceptable). I try and take people as they are but exaggerated, negative gossip involving my name, insulting some of my innermost values and violating my personal boundaries (whatever they might be in that any one instance) over and over again, especially when it’s along the lines of - I know he said that this is how he likes to pattern his ting but based just on what I think I don’t think he’s entitled to that boundary or mark of basic interpersonal respect - just doesn’t jibe well with me, because then it’s like people aren’t even trying to respect you (which kind of defeats the purpose of a friendship or anything like it) and people like that don’t tend to change (unless they go on some sort of long narcissistic healing/recovery programme) so I tend to just allow people like that. On the one hand I’m the kindest, most dutiful and accommodating sort of person with people who respect me (who I respect in turn) and value the concept of healthy interpersonal relationships (and I value my family like die, despite our occasional disagreements) but I can also be incredibly indifferent and cold-hearted when it comes to people who disrespect me and only really want me around once a week to do favours for them. I made the mistake of playing the game for a little while before just making them feel guilty and letting them go but at this point I’m hardened to the point where I wouldn’t even look someone like that in the eye once I’ve sussed what they’re about.