[Ray.]

Originally Posted by Zizu

I sat with my mum for her last 6 days .. never left her side in a busy ward

We were told that they could do nothing for her and assigned her as nil by mouth

So we knew she was dying but she didn’t


It was a double whammy… I was losing my beautiful mother but I had to put on a brave face and lie to her each day ..


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Originally Posted by bitontheslide

I feel for you chalk, for those of us who have been there, we know what you are going through.

I lost my Mum over 35 years ago, and I still feel her loss to this day

Originally Posted by thesheriff443

I was trying to find the words to express myself, I think your words speak for all of us.

Originally Posted by AnnieK

So very sorry Chalk. The pain will be raw for a while but remember the good times too. I will say, that when I lost my mum, being on here gave .e a welcome distraction at tunes and a lot of members dragged me through it.

Take care of you and your Dad.....

Originally Posted by joeysteele

Really sorry to hear of your devastating loss.

I found nothing in life prepares you for the loss of the important person of your life being your Mother.

Thinking of you at this awful time.

Originally Posted by Cherie

aw Chalk my heart breaks for you, it sounds so sudden and traumatic, losing a parent is tough, look after yourself and your family, you are in my thoughts xx

Originally Posted by Ammi

…I’m so, so very sorry for your loss… …I can’t imagine how difficult for you to write that down and to exhale, really…there is nothing that anyone can say that will in any way ease that numbness right now…I’m glad that you got to sit with her for those days…we’ll never know how much strength that gives someone when they need it most…that support is something that she would have felt from you, so many times through her life as you felt hers also …my own mum passed away almost a year ago and I recognise so much of what you’ve said…I’ll never know what it would have meant to her for us to be there because she’d stopped being aware of us/aware of anything in her life many years ago…one of the things this last year, since we lost her and with my brothers…has been to take her back through her life and visit so many places and so many times and so many stages of her…/…all of those childhood memories we’ve had that she gave us all through our lives, so much that was a path to help make us who we are……I know that you will but you don’t need to look for anything/any sign that she’s still there and with you… because she’s there in everything you are, everything she’s given you and everything she’s made you feel…you’re not alone and you never will be through your whole life…we might lose the person but we never lose the love they’ve given….I know that your loss is overwhelming right now but it’s not just part of showing how much you loved her, it’s also showing how much she loved you…whenever you feel what you need to feel, just allow that also, if it needs to be released, allow it that space….you take care, I truly am so very sorry……

Originally Posted by Soldier Boy

Very sorry for your loss, it's a terrible thing to process and can really take time. It'll be 10 years next year since my own mum died (relatively young, I was 28 and she was in her 50's) and in all honesty it's really only the last 2 or 3 years that I've properly processed all of it.

You mentioned picturing her face - try to think of her healthy and in better times. I know it can be very difficult - I had an awful image of my mum's face not long before she died stuck firmly in my head for a while, I found that if you really make the effort to picture better memories every time it comes up, eventually it'll stop being such an invasive thought.

Originally Posted by Vanessa

I'm so sorry for your loss

Originally Posted by Livia

I wish there was something I could say to lessen the terrible hurt you're feeling. My deepest condolences.

I don't believe that those we love ever really leave us.

Originally Posted by Barry.

Sorry for your loss. I don’t know you but I hope your mum is at peace and she’ll be in my thoughts

Originally Posted by Abra

I'm so sorry to hear that, sending you and your family a lot of love x

Thank you all so much for the well wishes. I hope none of you find the brevity of my responses to be rude or low-effort, but even online I'm not the most comfortable with showing vulnerability and expressing emotion. And the level of empathy shown to me here has been overwhelming in the best possible way. Every word written in each response has genuinely impacted me to some degree or another. I value all of these replies and I'm positive I'll revisit them every now and again whenever the feeling of grief rears its head.

And in response to Cherie in particular, as I'm still new enough that I'm not totally sure how to navigate visitor messages on here: thank you for the kind words and yes I think I'll definitely be sticking around. I'll definitely need to take my mind off things on a fairly regular basis in future.