[Ammi]

Originally Posted by Vicky.

Yea rang someone called 'first contact' which is apparently meant to refer you to social worker but all they said was a support worker is already involved. So I tried complaining telling them she refuses to acknowledge the violence James has suffered and again I was told support worker was involved already. Then she rang me back asking why I was complaining about her and that she's already doing all she can. I gave up with them at that stage.
I sent a long email to schools safeguarding lead which was a bit better, they confirmed that Skye's attendance wasn't all that the support worker was involved for, said it was also violence against James and James stating he doesn't get breakfast (!) and violence. Everything seems to now be hanging on something called a taf meeting which is on friday

…ahhh, it’s a team around the child meeting which is good because it should involve all of the services that are now involved in a care plan for James and how you all work together…it’s kind of a next step from a care around the child situation because so many more services will e involved…(hopefully…)…and you should meet them all on Friday…as will James’ father, he will probably be thee as well…I don’t know why social services haven’t made you feel the importance/urgency this is being dealt with but it actually sounds as though it is…which is what would be expected with the declarations James has made…I mean, on its own that poor attendance and coming to school hungry, without having breakfast …in themselves could point to a possible negligence and then for James to say that he feels fear in the home as well…?…but if you have the taf meeting on Friday, that’s an excellent sign that the services are identifying the support needed and working to put it all in place from then…(…hopefully…)…hopefully after Friday you’ll also start to feel clearer about the home schooling decision as well but please talk to all involved in the meeting as well about why you feel it’s the best option and if you get as much information about it before then that would be good…really, say everything you want to say at the meeting and also take notes of all the points made…

[Vicky.]

Originally Posted by Niamh.

Ah that's terrible Vicky, does Skye still come to yours as well now or not? It's hard enough raising kids when both parents are working together but it's near impossible when you're not a united front because kids will be kids and will play you off against each other. Is there anyway you could get a court order to say James can move schools?

She's not coming at the moment..he won't send her

I think this mediation thing will end in a court order, but looks like it takes a while

[Vicky.]

Originally Posted by Ammi

…ahhh, it’s a team around the child meeting which is good because it should involve all of the services that are now involved in a care plan for James and how you all work together…it’s kind of a next step from a care around the child situation because so many more services will e involved…(hopefully…)…and you should meet them all on Friday…as will James’ father, he will probably be thee as well…I don’t know why social services haven’t made you feel the importance/urgency this is being dealt with but it actually sounds as though it is…which is what would be expected with the declarations James has made…I mean, on its own that poor attendance and coming to school hungry, without having breakfast …in themselves could point to a possible negligence and then for James to say that he feels fear in the home as well…?…but if you have the taf meeting on Friday, that’s an excellent sign that the services are identifying the support needed and working to put it all in place from then…(…hopefully…)…hopefully after Friday you’ll also start to feel clearer about the home schooling decision as well but please talk to all involved in the meeting as well about why you feel it’s the best option and if you get as much information about it before then that would be good…really, say everything you want to say at the meeting and also take notes of all the points made…

Gavin is refusing to go to the meeting unless I am on my own. I refuse to do this as I'm still intimidated by him even 4 years on...so my sister is going with me. So apparently they need 2 meetings because..he doesn't like my sister.

[Ammi]

Originally Posted by Vicky.

She's not coming at the moment..he won't send her

I think this mediation thing will end in a court order, but looks like it takes a while

…sometimes…(…more rare times…)…children can be made wards of court as well and bigger decisions about schooling can be made by the courts as opposed to the parents…

[Niamh.]

Originally Posted by Vicky.

She's not coming at the moment..he won't send her

I think this mediation thing will end in a court order, but looks like it takes a while

Such a shame, well it will look favorable to you if you can show that you've been making an effort to home school him while things are being sorted out

[Ammi]

Originally Posted by Vicky.

Gavin is refusing to go to the meeting unless I am on my own. I refuse to do this as I'm still intimidated by him even 4 years on...so my sister is going with me. So apparently they need 2 meetings because..he doesn't like my sister.

…well in a way, it might be better/easier for you to feel as though you can raise everything you need to when he’s not there, so that could be good for you…and it does also give out the impression that he’s very controlling and prefers you to be ‘isolated’ in any interactions with him or regarding the children…isn’t that how he’s making James feel as well, that will hopefully already be noted that he refuses to attend if you have personal support with you…but don’t give him a thought at the meeting other than to focus completely on what you want to say ….

[AnnieK]

Is he happy at the school he is currently at Vicky and would you be happy with him staying at that school?? I know you can't get him there but the council could possibly arrange transport for him. A couple of kids at my son's school live far away and get cabs in that the council pay for? If he is happy there they may be able to do something like that.

Sounds so stressful - poor James (and poor you). Will you keep us informed after your meeting, it will be on my mind now.

[Ninastar]

Hey there! Long time no see!

I have worked with kids for 15+ years now and I have all kinds of experience. The main thing I stress is that you have a healthy, well organised routine. Make sure you have plenty of breaks available and use rewards like getting time to go online/play a game/go outside or anything you know your kids love.

I’m at work rn but feel free to pm me or message me
On social media (if I have you on anything) and I am more than happy to give you any advice or tips!

[Vicky.]

He asked me if I could switch his school to the one near me. Seems happy at school but also happy to change

[Cherie]

I used to meet a lady who was home schooling and she took her children regularly for sailing lessons, I think there are alot of online forums that can offer advice, sorry this may have been mentioned previously

[Cherie]

Online forums for uk homeschooling
For those looking for online forums to discuss homeschooling in the UK, there are several platforms where parents can connect, share experiences, and seek advice. Here are some of the most notable forums:
Mumsnet: A community forum where parents can find advice from others on homeschooling, including discussions on various aspects of home education.
1
Home Education UK: Offers support and resources for home educating parents and children, with a focus on various topics related to home education.
1
Home School Talk: A peer-to-peer forum that provides a space for discussions on different subjects, including home education.
1
Home Education & Homeschooling Forum: A forum where parents can post about their home education journeys and seek advice from others.
1
Home Education Directory | HomeEdClub: A platform dedicated to home education, offering a space for discussions and support among parents.
1
Netmums: A peer-to-peer support board where parents can post about their home education experiences and seek advice.
1

These forums provide a valuable resource for parents in the UK looking to homeschool their children, offering a community of like-minded individuals to share experiences and resources.

[Cherie]

Originally Posted by Vicky.

He asked me if I could switch his school to the one near me. Seems happy at school but also happy to change

Could he talk to his Dad?

[Maru]

If you can find a supply shop that's local to you that serves homeschoolers, those are the best places I have learned to get advice and get in touch with a coop. That could help to fill in any gaps for social if they're not getting enough already. Usually the parents are informed about their child's progress and have had to endure the education system with their child. You'll very likely find people who are in a situation that mirrors your own, as there's many many reasons people homeschool, not just academics. It's becoming more common for people to pull their kids for homeschool for safety concerns or if they're not getting all the help that is actually needed (special needs or learning disabilities). Homeschool is exploding in the US for a number of reasons, but safety is a big one... Even if you are not turning to homeschool, they may tell you of services or options you're entitled to that you may not know about. For example every child with special needs is entitled to services where we are so it's still possible to still use therapy services for instance even if they're not enrolled... some have likely been through all the roadblocks you've gone through and then some and can give you the best advice to tackle it and look out for your child's interests.

Only other advice, if you hear the term "unschool" or "free school", run far far far away...

[Vicky.]

Originally Posted by Cherie

Could he talk to his Dad?

He doesn't seem to want to speak to dad, which is another red flag for me

[Crimson Dynamo]

Home schooling is a good idea

[Vicky.]

Meeting went **** really. Was talked over...support worker brought up again that I had complained about her. Gavin had a meeting after mine and they told him what James had said to the police about Skye! That's supposed to be confidential. I only know they told her because she messaged me about it

Anyway to cut a long story short I have now sent school an email stating I will be home educating James for the foreseeable future and to please remove him from their registers.

James is over the moon because I've told him part of home learning is going to places like museums for the day

[Ammi]

Originally Posted by Vicky.

Meeting went **** really. Was talked over...support worker brought up again that I had complained about her. Gavin had a meeting after mine and they told him what James had said to the police about Skye! That's supposed to be confidential. I only know they told her because she messaged me about it

Anyway to cut a long story short I have now sent school an email stating I will be home educating James for the foreseeable future and to please remove him from their registers.

James is over the moon because I've told him part of home learning is going to places like museums for the day

….awwwww, I’m sad that the meeting went so badly for you, Vicky and didn’t make you feel that there was any future in working together but I’m wishing you so much love in you and James’ learning journey together…..

[Vicky.]

I'm both excited and scared I'm not up to it right now...should be a bit more chilled tomorrow

[Ammi]

Originally Posted by Vicky.

I'm both excited and scared I'm not up to it right now...should be a bit more chilled tomorrow

…you’re up to it, don’t doubt that and there’ll be so much help out there for guidance as well…talk to and get as much information as you need from other home schoolers and the government site as well and honestly, such good luck to you both…..

https://www.gov.uk/home-education

[Maru]

Originally Posted by Vicky.

Meeting went **** really. Was talked over...support worker brought up again that I had complained about her. Gavin had a meeting after mine and they told him what James had said to the police about Skye! That's supposed to be confidential. I only know they told her because she messaged me about it

Anyway to cut a long story short I have now sent school an email stating I will be home educating James for the foreseeable future and to please remove him from their registers.

James is over the moon because I've told him part of home learning is going to places like museums for the day

I am so sorry it came to that, Vicky. You want to believe people will come through but sometimes it's just not worth the trouble anymore.

[Maru]

Originally Posted by Vicky.

I'm both excited and scared I'm not up to it right now...should be a bit more chilled tomorrow

Very normal!

[Niamh.]

Originally Posted by Vicky.

I'm both excited and scared I'm not up to it right now...should be a bit more chilled tomorrow

You'll be fine, best of luck with it

[Crimson Dynamo]

Remember if you wake up one day and you fancy a lie in and once you are up
to sit in your PJs watching Countdown all day vaping and eating junk food just
tell the kid its an "In service day" and if he moans about it tell them he is
affecting your Mental Health and you will report him to your Union

That will learn the little Brat

[Vicky.]

Thanks. Still a bit scared but feeling a bit more confident now

[Ammi]

Originally Posted by Vicky.

Thanks. Still a bit scared but feeling a bit more confident now

…of course, but that’s a good thing …(….more concerning if you weren’t scared …)..because that scared bit is an indication of how focused you are and will be of how focused you are in giving him the best educational path that you can…and obviously the happier he is, the more he will absorb…an unhappy child is just so hindering and blocking of the information they absorb, you know…so a bit of scared is good, it’ll help your thought processing so much as well in laying out your planning and that will all become easier and easier as time goes on and that confidence part will grow, but hopefully keeping a bit of that scared as well……as I’ve said, join communities of home-schooling parents and take in their experiences also…not to copy but to help you and James to plan your educational path together…