[Jack_]

what is 12" long and makes a woman moan all night?

Cot death.

i'm josef fritzl and no windows was my idea.

i'm going to go rob a bank tomorrow.
I plan on dressing up in a clown wig and make up and only wearing a thong and nipple tassels.
I'll carry a goat and a can of fluorescent paint in one arm and, while in the bank, i'm going to **** the goat and throw the paint over the walls, all the time ripping up pages of a phonebook and swearing my head off. After getting the money, i'll take a **** on the floor and piss everywhere. I then will escape in a van shaped like a giant pink cock.

Let's see crimewatch ****ing stage a reconstruction of that.