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Old 19-12-2009, 05:43 PM #1
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Default My girlfriend...
"My girlfriend is a porn star.

She is going to be so pissed off when she finds out."

I love Sickipedia. It's the future.
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Old 19-12-2009, 05:44 PM #2
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Sickipedia is my life
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Old 19-12-2009, 05:47 PM #3
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My current fave:

"No Youporn I do not want to play poker, I'm at work."
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Old 19-12-2009, 05:50 PM #4
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I love Sickipedia. I went off it when I told some of my friends about it and then they all went overkill with it, kind of ruined it for me, but they've stopped going on about it so I use it more now.

"I remember the first time my parents caught me masturbating. I was so startled I nearly dropped their wedding photo." muahahahah.
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Old 19-12-2009, 05:51 PM #5
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Some of the MJ jokes are nasty tho lmao You just can't help laughing.
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Old 19-12-2009, 05:51 PM #6
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what is 12" long and makes a woman moan all night?

Cot death.
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i'm josef fritzl and no windows was my idea.
Quote:
i'm going to go rob a bank tomorrow.
I plan on dressing up in a clown wig and make up and only wearing a thong and nipple tassels.
I'll carry a goat and a can of fluorescent paint in one arm and, while in the bank, i'm going to **** the goat and throw the paint over the walls, all the time ripping up pages of a phonebook and swearing my head off. After getting the money, i'll take a **** on the floor and piss everywhere. I then will escape in a van shaped like a giant pink cock.

Let's see crimewatch ****ing stage a reconstruction of that.
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Old 19-12-2009, 06:39 PM #7
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^^
Lmfao

I havent been on this, or heard of it..but is it like a Joke Site?
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Old 19-12-2009, 07:19 PM #8
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One on the first page

Joe McElderry:
"I'm straight - and I don't fancy Cheryl!"

So you're gay then?
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So now we're talking about the physics involving a piece of frozen **** in a hot cup of tea. TiBB
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Old 19-12-2009, 07:23 PM #9
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pmsl
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Old 19-12-2009, 07:24 PM #10
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lmao
i remeber hearing about this from some woman who i worked with in an office and shes like 38, i was thinking how do u know about this and i didnt???!?!?!?!!?!
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Old 19-12-2009, 07:26 PM #11
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What's Susan Boyle and me got in common?

We both look **** dressed as a woman.
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Old 19-12-2009, 07:28 PM #12
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So Joe McElderry has admitted that he is a virgin.

It could have all been so different if Louis Walsh had been his mentor.
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Old 19-12-2009, 07:31 PM #13
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I was checking into a hotel the other week. At the counter, a guy in front of me said curtly to the receptionist, "I hope the porn channel is disabled."

Unbelievable what some people are into.
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Disabled toilets.

Ironically, the only toilets big enough to run around in.*
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Old 19-12-2009, 07:35 PM #14
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LMAO JACK!
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Old 19-12-2009, 07:41 PM #15
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Day 1 in heaven and Jade Goody is already up for eviction.
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Old 19-12-2009, 07:54 PM #16
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Originally Posted by tom View Post
one on the first page

joe mcelderry:
"i'm straight - and i don't fancy cheryl!"

so you're gay then?
don't bring my bb joe into this. </3
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Old 19-12-2009, 07:55 PM #17
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Have you ever noticed that it's only 'perfect' people who are murdered or killed in horrific accidents?
"He was the perfect son" or "She was the perfect daughter."
"Such a tragic accident they were the perfect family."
"They died together, the perfect couple till the end."
Makes me glad I abuse my kids and beat up my wife.
Kind of makes me immortal.
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Old 19-12-2009, 07:55 PM #18
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Day 1 in heaven and Jade Goody is already up for eviction.
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Old 19-12-2009, 07:56 PM #19
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Try saying "Whale oil beef hooked" without sounding like an Irish man swearing.




Creased.
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Old 19-12-2009, 07:57 PM #20
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Quote:
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Try saying "Whale oil beef hooked" without sounding like an Irish man swearing.




Creased.
i don't get it LOL.

EDIT: OH PMSL I GET IT NOW/
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Old 19-12-2009, 07:57 PM #21
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Originally Posted by Stephanie View Post
Have you ever noticed that it's only 'perfect' people who are murdered or killed in horrific accidents?
"He was the perfect son" or "She was the perfect daughter."
"Such a tragic accident they were the perfect family."
"They died together, the perfect couple till the end."
Makes me glad I abuse my kids and beat up my wife.
Kind of makes me immortal.
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Old 19-12-2009, 07:57 PM #22
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Originally Posted by Ross View Post
Try saying "Whale oil beef hooked" without sounding like an Irish man swearing.




Creased.
Hahaha! That is great
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Old 19-12-2009, 08:00 PM #23
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ross View Post
Try saying "Whale oil beef hooked" without sounding like an Irish man swearing.




Creased.
it doesnt really work for me
even though i get the joke
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Last edited by Smithy; 19-12-2009 at 08:15 PM.
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Old 19-12-2009, 08:00 PM #24
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A black man takes a girl home from a nightclub.
She says "Show me it's true what they say about black men".
So he stabs her & nicks her purse.
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Old 19-12-2009, 08:01 PM #25
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Quote:
Jade Goody wanted to be cremated, so that at her funeral everybody could take home a Goody bag.
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Apparently you can get swine flu by fucking an infected pig.

Jack Tweed must be ******** himself.
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