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Benjamin · 08-11-2010, 04:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LeatherTrumpet

its all about discovery and opportunity

maybe you have met neither yet

I'll have you know that not everyone cheats even if the opportunity is there. I often find myself with opportunities to cheat when in a relationship, but I never do because if I am in a relationship with someone then I am with them and them only. It's called love.

I don't buy all this crap either about 'oh I was unhappy'. If the person is unhappy then end the relationship, rather than cheat and end it. So cowardly.

Ammi · 08-11-2010, 04:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LeatherTrumpet

People dont trust anyway. No one in their right mind sets off in a relationship and does not have a feeling in their mind that the potential is there. It manifests in

worries about being late from night out

phone text checking

email checking

worries about work colleagues

worries about nights away with work

and so on

Yes all of the above is down to trust and it does manifest in but its quite often just in the mind and down to your own insecurities. I have been cheated on and I did forgive because I believe that my partner loves me completely. Life is complicated and it happens and I forgave him a lot sooner than he forgave himself. But I think people do start a relationship believing it could never happen, I think you have to really otherwise 'true love' will never happen and it does exist

Crimson Dynamo · 08-11-2010, 05:01 PM

all about opportunity and the ability to get away with it. dont fight genes, natural selection and logic

Ammi · 08-11-2010, 05:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ukturtle

I'll have you know that not everyone cheats even if the opportunity is there. I often find myself with opportunities to cheat when in a relationship, but I never do because if I am in a relationship with someone then I am with them and them only. It's called love.

I don't buy all this crap either about 'oh I was unhappy'. If the person is unhappy then end the relationship, rather than cheat and end it. So cowardly.

exactly I agree with LT that most people have the opportunity but not everyone acts on it - that is a choice you make. But it I also think you can forgive - it depends on the circumstances and whether you and your partners love can survive it

Ammi · 08-11-2010, 05:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LeatherTrumpet

all about opportunity and the ability to get away with it. dont fight genes, natural selection and logic

If it was only opportunity I would have left a trail of affairs - I have never wanted to

Crimson Dynamo · 08-11-2010, 05:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rhino

If it was only opportunity I would have left a trail of affairs - I have never wanted to

probably the opportunity was not ideal and you were worried about being caught

Benjamin · 08-11-2010, 05:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LeatherTrumpet

all about opportunity and the ability to get away with it. dont fight genes, natural selection and logic

You have a very pessimistic view on love. If what yu were saying was true, I should have cheated many times, yet I never have.

Benjamin · 08-11-2010, 05:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LeatherTrumpet

probably the opportunity was not ideal and you were worried about being caught

Or maybe not all of us want to cheat and actually love and respect the people we are with

Ammi · 08-11-2010, 05:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LeatherTrumpet

probably the opportunity was not ideal and you were worried about being caught

Well George Clooney's not text yet if thats what you mean

Niamh. · 08-11-2010, 05:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LeatherTrumpet

probably the opportunity was not ideal and you were worried about being caught

not ideal? how is cheating on someone ever ideal?

Niamh. · 08-11-2010, 05:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rhino

Well George Clooney's not text yet if thats what you mean

Captain.Remy · 08-11-2010, 05:12 PM

Once trust is gone, I'm done. No second chance.

Ammi · 08-11-2010, 05:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Captain.Remy

Once trust is gone, I'm done. No second chance.

Thats what I used to say...................

Iceman · 08-11-2010, 05:31 PM

I have and it worked out for a while but then I got paranoid that she was cheating so we broke up, we are weird though we tend to find our way back to each other every few months........

Crimson Dynamo · 08-11-2010, 05:35 PM

lol at all the idealists

lets hope you never find out

MissKittyFantastico · 08-11-2010, 05:44 PM

Once the trust is gone, the love is gone, for me anyway.

Tom · 08-11-2010, 05:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ukturtle

Don't tell simonsays that

I'm not a fan of beastiality

Captain.Remy · 08-11-2010, 06:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rhino

Thats what I used to say...................

Hard luck for you mate. I never gave a second chance to anyone. You screw me up once, you'll never do it again, you have to face the consequences for your actions and realize how you can loose relationships based on these actions.

Tom4784 · 08-11-2010, 06:43 PM

I've been cheated on before, I let it go though it was a drunken mistake on her part and I thought it would be a waste of a relationship to end it because of that. I'd have ended it if she found someone else though, there's no point carrying on if that happens. I can forgive mistakes but I'm not gonna continue a relationship if there's feelings or love involved though as relationships can't survive that really I don't think. I don't really get angry at cheating though, I've accepted that people make mistakes. What's important to me is that they learn from them.

Of course what works for me might not work for others and vice versa.

Tom · 08-11-2010, 07:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Captain.Remy

Hard luck for you mate. I never have a second chance to anyone. You screw me up once, you'll never do it again, you have to face the consequences for your actions and realize how you can loose relationships based on these actions.

I'd normally agree with this but I cheated ages ago and she forgave me (I think) and we're actually together through cheating in the first place

so yeah it would all just be a bit rich if one of us took the moral high ground, although another time and it would be it

I think it all depends on the situaton

I'd be pretty damn p*ssed off if she did though, but thats if it even lasts much longer anyway (unlikely)

Angus · 08-11-2010, 07:54 PM

I'm an all or nothing kind of person - if a guy cheated on me, he was gone - no second chance.

Mr XcX · 08-11-2010, 08:25 PM

No one would EVER CHEAT ON ME!

Kerry · 09-11-2010, 02:59 AM

After nearly 17 years, if my OH cheated I'd cut his balls off

That said, he'd have been out of the door if he'd cheated on me after 17 minutes.

As has been said, after the trust has gone... Nope

Crimson Dynamo · 09-11-2010, 11:02 AM

There are many levels to this

1. drunken snog

2. sexy texts only

3. one night stand

4. not drunken snog

5. brief 1 week affair

6. long affair

then you have to factor are you engaged, married, if neither how long going out and so forth

Niamh. · 09-11-2010, 11:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LeatherTrumpet

There are many levels to this

1. drunken snog

2. sexy texts only

3. one night stand

4. not drunken snog

5. brief 1 week affair

6. long affair

then you have to factor are you engaged, married, if neither how long going out and so forth

Number 5 and 6 would be completely unforgivable for me anyway. The others I really couldn't tell unless they happened

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