[Patrick]

Oh sorry by the way, I realised what a bitch I was not to share my story.

Well,

My father use to dress up in a cheap Santa suit when helping my mother put out the presents and such.

I asked him not too long ago why the ****** he did that and it was incase myself or my brother came downstairs and saw him.

Plus when I was younger 'Santa' came into my room and gave me a teddy bear, it was obviously my dad though now.


I began to realise slowly he wasn't real as the years went on my mother's cover stories became more and more OTT and Fake.

For example,

I mentioned to her that I think I saw Santa when I was taking a piss on Christmas Eve I was walking to my room and looked downstairs and saw her and my dad [Santa] passing this scooter along the hall.

So I was like 'Mum why were you with Santa last night?' 'Can't he give the presents out by himself?' Etc Etc

And then she told me she was seeing Santa

So I kind of realised it was bollocks there and then.

And she denies ever telling me that.


But the time I just thought 'Nah this is BS' was Christmas 2005 I think, I went downstairs on Christmas Eve, Because I heard the door close.

So I looked out the window and mum was leaving the house to go to my nan's around the corner to get some of the bigger presents, of course I didn't know.

So I went downstairs to make sure no one came into the house, I was quite paranoid after watching Home Alone 1 you see, and then I walked into the living room.

To see 'Santa' putting this big box on the sofa and I was just standing there like and my Dad just turned around and was like 'WOULD YOU ****** OFF FOR CHRIST SAKE!' and then I went and cried.

And obviously, realised then either:

1. Santa is an evil bastard who needs to sort himself out.

2. My Dad is a pathetic man with nothing better to do on Christmas Eve.