[Stu]

The Doc tells Larissa he wants a full scan of the atmosphere. Larissa complies, fearing another cruel slavery joke from this ruthless suited bigot. The Doc says he needs to see someone back on Earth and leaves through the poorly contructed cardboard corridor of plotholes.

The Doc emerges out of another telephone box into the plush appartment of Veroon Hibert, the 1489'th and best Prime Minister of this great nation. The leader of the nation shows no alarm whatsoever at the stranger who has just materialized from thin air in his phonebox and sets out questioning The Doc - who is wearing red converse with his suit in a dashing display of post punk anarchic defiance - what the situation with the planets is.

Doc asks if anyone has mysteriously died recently and if you know any better conversation ice breakers then do divulge, dear readers. The Prime Minister says no and Doc says 'good day'. As he is stepping into his phonebox the PM asks if Earth will be harmed. The Doc says, and I quote, 'Hope Not, Good Day!'.

There's so much tension and realism dripping from this dialogue that I feel like I am being waterboarded. Yeah, HOPE YOUR PLANET DOESN'T GET FUCKED LMAO.

The Doc's being a smarmy pain in the hole at this stage. The Weevil raping must have really scarred him pretty badly.

Larissa has had some hood rats hacking away at the atmosphere scan and it's ready when Doc returns. She says something is materializing on the surface of Pinorthis and to take Lemon with you to pop a cap in it's ass, homeboy. I hope it's John Malkovich.

It's not. It's some sort of R2D2 looking jobbie that my meagre cultural knowledge of Doctor Who informs me is a Dalek. The Doc says he should have guessed. The Dalek says DOCTOR in CAPS because his the fucking man and goes into a long monologue which I translated as 'OOGA BOOGA WOOGA SOMETHING SOMETHING ETC EARTH WILL COLLIDE WITH PINARTHIS!'.

Oh pinar that!

Doc says again that he should have guessed because presumably androids playing tennis with celestial bodies is an altogether run of the mill occurence round' these neck of the woods.

Doc and Lemon are about to take leave when the Dalek shouts HALT! Mein herz brennt. Nazibot does an emergency teleport stunt worthy of Derren Brown in defiance of a phonebox that has crept up on him to deliver a TIME PARADOX!

Spoiler:

A whaaaaaaaa?

Apparently the Doc tried to come up from behind the Dalek to pop a cap in it's metalreich ass in some time travel trickery. However Joe does not have two figures of the same Doctor so one is the David Tennant one and the other is the newer, gay looking one.

We are now in a metal walled base with a lush blue carpet. The unforgiveable clash of style and sense aside this is a riviting scene in which everybody looks panicky and outlines the plot so far. As if I could ever forget such a visceral thrill ride. Larissa says we ought to sacrifice that good for nothing Pinorthis and use is to joyride into the Dalek's ship lolz.

The Dalek's arrive.

WIBBLY WOBBLY SHAKEY CAM SEQUENCE.

End of episode.