[Z]

Making phone calls is another one that makes me so nervous. When I worked in an office for the summer I used to have to go to the bathroom and calm down in a cubicle before going back to make a phone call, it seriously psyches me out, I have a fear of strangers and a fear of being made to look stupid - as it was just a summer job, I obviously didn't know the ins and outs of the company by any means so I was afraid largely of being asked a question I didn't know the answer to; I really hate having to bother other people with my own incompetence so would just rather avoid exposing myself to my weaknesses, even though I am perfectly aware that it's such a stupid thing to be afraid of. My fear of phone calls/strangers is so bad though, I can't even order a takeaway without panicking, I get other people to do it instead. I rarely answer our flat buzzer unless it's just me in the flat and there've been times I've just ignored it unless they've persistently buzzed it... I've only spoken to one of the people who live above us, once. Never met any of the other neighbours, avoid eye contact on the stairs. I don't answer my phone when I get a phone call unless it's from a family member, otherwise I let it ring out - if they leave a voice mail I'll usually call back. Like, I have a part time job but my employers are based in London so their only correspondence with me is via phone or email; I don't think I've ever answered a phone call from them straight away, it's so bad but it's just this ridiculous fear I have, that I don't know what they want so I don't want to find out. A fear of the unknown, I suppose.


I need therapy. LOL.