[Suze]

This thread is a bit of an eye opener, as some of the posts suprise me. I honestly cannot see a problem with dating someone who is wheelchair bound or even with other disabilities. It just would not faze me in the least if I loved them. We would just cope with what ever obstacles we might have to face, as they happened, same as a lot of people do in everyday life in all sorts of situations anyway. I suppose though it is individual choice and at least they are honest replies in the thread even if I can't understand where some are coming from. Each to their own and all that, it is after all their choice.

[Claymores]

Originally Posted by Shaun

Was it a bottle of tequila you wanted in your life ambition? I can see you're halfway there. Keep going

Sun? Star? the nowhere Post? The dole queue?

[hannah.]

this thread is annoying me. people are so over sensetive about ****. if I was to say I don't find asian men attractive does that make me racist?

[hannah.]

actually not over sensitive; overly cautious

[GypsyGoth]

Originally Posted by hannah.

this thread is annoying me. people are so over sensetive about ****. if I was to say I don't find asian men attractive does that make me racist?

Is it because they have small willys?

[hannah.]

yes. and I heard people in wheelchairs have wheels instead of balls. don't think I could cope with that. tire marks?!

[midlandman]

i was with a wheeelchair user for 8 years best time of my life

[joeysteele]

Originally Posted by Suze

This thread is a bit of an eye opener, as some of the posts suprise me. I honestly cannot see a problem with dating someone who is wheelchair bound or even with other disabilities. It just would not faze me in the least if I loved them. We would just cope with what ever obstacles we might have to face, as they happened, same as a lot of people do in everyday life in all sorts of situations anyway. I suppose though it is individual choice and at least they are honest replies in the thread even if I can't understand where some are coming from. Each to their own and all that, it is after all their choice.

Good comment,I would have no hesitation in dating someone in a wheelchair,I have friends who are,2 through horrific accidents that left them partially paralysed.One I am very close to and his girfriend has stayed with him and they are one of the happiest couples I have seen (getting married later this year too),many people just don't realise they are 'still' people in those chairs with feelings and hopes and dreams just like the rest of us.

I can understand the people who wouldn't know how to cope with that though, I know people for instance who have massive aversions to visting in Hospital and who have never visited a friend or relative in Hospital, it doesn't mean they don't have feelings or care for them.
Some people I guess would have similar aversions to the disabled and particularly who were wheelchair bound.

The only people I take any exception to would be those who reject wheelchair users because of their own image,they don't want their image to be seen to be brought down in any way so would reject wheelchair bound people,not wanting to be seen with or associated maybe even with them.

This thread has been very enlightening,in good and sad ways as you point out Suze.

[Captain.Remy]

Originally Posted by Stu

Honestly no. I don't think I would be able to look past it.

+1

I'm not into charity.

[arista]

Originally Posted by hannah.

this thread is annoying me. people are so over sensetive about ****. if I was to say I don't find asian men attractive does that make me racist?

No.

[joeysteele]

Originally Posted by Captain.Remy

+1

I'm not into charity.

You are entitled to your view obviously but its rather insulting to bring in the word Charity.

Most wheelchair bound individuals are far from being Charity cases and also would hate to be thought as one too.They also likely do a great lot more 'for' Charites than they would ever get from them.

[cub]

Can I ask those who said they would not consider a relationship with a wheelchair-user this question ...

If the person you fell in love with had an accident which left them in a wheelchair, would you end that relationship?

[joeysteele]

Originally Posted by cub

Can I ask those who said they would not consider a relationship with a wheelchair-user this question ...

If the person you fell in love with had an accident which left them in a wheelchair, would you end that relationship?

Well said and a superb question.

[MTVN]

Originally Posted by cub

Can I ask those who said they would not consider a relationship with a wheelchair-user this question ...

If the person you fell in love with had an accident which left them in a wheelchair, would you end that relationship?

That's different, the question says would you date one & you'd only really tend to look to date people who are your type. A wheelchair user just isnt my type & not someone I'd look to go out with, just as I wouldnt go out with a midget, someone deformed or just someone who I found really unattractive.

[Benjamin]

Originally Posted by cub

Can I ask those who said they would not consider a relationship with a wheelchair-user this question ...

If the person you fell in love with had an accident which left them in a wheelchair, would you end that relationship?

That's different because you already are with that person beforehand. Dating someone is different from already being in a relationship.


Also, I don't see why myself and people who share the same opinion as me have to justify why we wouldn't. We all have our own preferences, it's not nasty and we are not being rude about it, but it is how we feel.

[Zippy]

Originally Posted by ukturtle

...and we are not being rude about it...

some clearly are

[Captain.Remy]

Originally Posted by cub

Can I ask those who said they would not consider a relationship with a wheelchair-user this question ...

If the person you fell in love with had an accident which left them in a wheelchair, would you end that relationship?

Probably not because I knew this person before and if I love this person very much, we will get through it.
But, I'm very uncomfortable around poor/disabled/sad people because I can't deal with this. I'm not Mother Theresa, I don't give to charity or anything. It's not in my nature to help people.

So I guess I'll stay with this person until I can't deal with it any longer because it will put in danger my mental safety. I know it's cruel but that's the way it is.

[Pyramid*]

You know, this is a very hard one to answer. It very much depends on many things - the nature of the reason for the person being wheelchair bound, the nature of the relationship (whether before, during or after meeting), the needs of each of the two persons involved.

OVERALL.... I'd be leaning to say no. I have my own personal reasons for that (not least that I have a lung condition and would be restricted in aiding them physically). That to me,would be a huge consideration. It would very much depend on how 'mobile / independant ' the wheelchair bound person was as I work full time, have to work full time and have not the energy or time to them come home from a very highly pressurised job to be a carer.

Outside of that : we never know who we fall in love with - or why. Love can see past boundaries that we all 'perceived' previously to be impossible.

I do think it's one of those situations that you can 'think' you may react in one way: yet when it actually presents itself: we may react in the very opposite way, for reason we may not even ever thought to consider.

[cub]

Some very revealing responses here.

That's different, the question says would you date one & you'd only really tend to look to date people who are your type. A wheelchair user just isnt my type & not someone I'd look to go out with, just as I wouldnt go out with a midget, someone deformed or just someone who I found really unattractive.

Yes, I know the question is different. However it is related because it's about disability.

Interesting that you have compared wheelchair-user with the words midget, deformed and unattractive. As for a wheelchair-user not being your 'type'. Well, you would have be be kinky to be turned on by a person in a wheelchair.

This is about seeing beyond the wheelchair.

I'm very uncomfortable around poor/disabled/sad people because I can't deal with this. I'm not Mother Theresa, I don't give to charity or anything. It's not in my nature to help people.

That is so sad to read. I hope your attitude will change as you grow older. Just imagine if something should happen to you and you encountered someone with that opinion.

Outside of that : we never know who we fall in love with - or why. Love can see past boundaries that we all 'perceived' previously to be impossible.

I do think it's one of those situations that you can 'think' you may react in one way: yet when it actually presents itself: we may react in the very opposite way, for reason we may not even ever thought to consider.

That's a sensible and good answer. I think so too.

[MTVN]

Originally Posted by cub

Yes, I know the question is different. However it is related because it's about disability.

Interesting that you have compared wheelchair-user with the words midget, deformed and unattractive. As for a wheelchair-user not being your 'type'. Well, you would have be be kinky to be turned on by a person in a wheelchair.

This is about seeing beyond the wheelchair.

You missed the point, when deciding who you're gonna date physical attraction plays a big part, hence why I compared it to other factors which might influence your perception of them. Of course, you can be attractive and be in a wheelchair, but if I was looking for a date I'd prefer it if they werent confined to a chair. I also mentioned having a deformity or being a midget because surely your "seeing beyond the wheelchair" applies to them as well. Would you date someone with a facial deformity? Surely it's about seeing beyond that, no?

When you're actually in love with someone the personality factor overrides the physical to a far greater extent, you cant compare being it with just dating someone

[Marc]

Depends if they are capable of looking after themselves. I don't know if I could take on the responsibility of caring for. Though I wouldn't know until I ever fell in love with somebody in a wheelchair!

[cub]

Originally Posted by MTVN

You missed the point, when deciding who you're gonna date physical attraction plays a big part, hence why I compared it to other factors which might influence your perception of them. Of course, you can be attractive and be in a wheelchair, but if I was looking for a date it would be with someone I'd prefer it if they werent confined to a chair. I also mentioned having a deformity or being a midget because surely your "seeing beyond the wheelchair" applies to them as well. Would you date someone with a facial deformity? Surely it's about seeing beyond that, no?

Physical attraction is important but I don't think a deformity is comparable to being in a wheelchair. I think it's you that's missing the point. A facial deformity is not going to attract most people. But a wheelchair is just an aid to someone mobility.

Why compare midgets and facial deformities to wheelchair users? It's a different issue. A closer comparison would be would you go out with a blind person or a deaf person?

Imagine seeing someone really hot in a bar and then that person leaving the bar in a wheelchair. Or, as a comparison, leaving the bar with a white cane.

Look at this clip of the Golden Girls (from 3.30 to 6.10)

Youtube video

[Stu]

I can't believe someone is posting a clip of ****ing Golden Girls to illustrate a point.

[Marc]

Originally Posted by Stu

I can't believe someone is posting a clip of ****ing Golden Girls to illustrate a point.

[MTVN]

Originally Posted by cub

Physical attraction is important but I don't think a deformity is comparable to being in a wheelchair. I think it's you that's missing the point. A facial deformity is not going to attract most people. But a wheelchair is just an aid to someone mobility.

Why compare midgets and facial deformities to wheelchair users? It's a different issue. A closer comparison would be would you go out with a blind person or a deaf person?

Imagine seeing someone really hot in a bar and then that person leaving the bar in a wheelchair. Or, as a comparison, leaving the bar with a white cane.

Look at this clip of the Golden Girls (from 3.30 to 6.10)

Youtube video

The principles the same, if you're going to criticise people and preach the principle of "it's the person, not the chair" then that has to apply all the time, you cant mitigate it & then suddenly ignore it because you think being a midget is more of a turn off than being in a chair. If you're going to apply that principle than at least be consistent, otherwise you're just showing double standards

I would consider myself pretty active, I play a fair bit of sport & enjoying going walks and stuff, it's not that unreasonable to prefer going out with someone who is capable of doing those things with you, having a wheelchair is a big burden. And I wouldnt go out with someone who is blind or deaf either, it would be too difficult.