[Z]

My mum when I was growing up, she stayed at home until my early teens looking after us - it was only when my younger brother started secondary school that she went back to work. I love both my parents but I really only feel like I've gotten to know my dad properly in recent weeks - he started sending me an email a day telling me all about his life before I was born/when I was young and it's made me realise how much I have in common with him etc... it's a really lovely thing for him to do and it's something I'll definitely do if I ever have children, it's like getting to know a new friend in a way - you kind of don't realise that your parents had a life just like yours before they became mum and dad... And the way they are is shaped by their past, and it's wonderful to get to know that. In one of his emails, for example, he told me about how he went on a date with this girl who went on to have two kids who went to my primary school (and the eldest went to my secondary school too), one older than me, one younger than me - the younger one I'd stop and chat to if I saw her on the street... and as he was driving her home, they witnessed a motorbike crash into a young woman and she instantly died - they had to be witnesses at the trial and it obviously ruined their night so nothing came of the date in the end. It's so strange to think that, if that hadn't happened, they might have become a couple, gotten married, had kids - and me, my brother, her and her brother wouldn't have ever existed. This was only like a year or two before he met my mum, they were at that age where people started to settle down (apparently the date was my dad accompanying this woman to a wedding!) - and I think just through simple story telling like that, I've come to feel like I'm a lot closer to my dad than I ever realised I was before... sorry for the rant. If you have a dad, talk to him, dads seem to get forgotten about and blamed for a lot of things!

[Niamh.]

Originally Posted by Zee

My mum when I was growing up, she stayed at home until my early teens looking after us - it was only when my younger brother started secondary school that she went back to work. I love both my parents but I really only feel like I've gotten to know my dad properly in recent weeks - he started sending me an email a day telling me all about his life before I was born/when I was young and it's made me realise how much I have in common with him etc... it's a really lovely thing for him to do and it's something I'll definitely do if I ever have children, it's like getting to know a new friend in a way - you kind of don't realise that your parents had a life just like yours before they became mum and dad... And the way they are is shaped by their past, and it's wonderful to get to know that. In one of his emails, for example, he told me about how he went on a date with this girl who went on to have two kids who went to my primary school (and the eldest went to my secondary school too), one older than me, one younger than me - the younger one I'd stop and chat to if I saw her on the street... and as he was driving her home, they witnessed a motorbike crash into a young woman and she instantly died - they had to be witnesses at the trial and it obviously ruined their night so nothing came of the date in the end. It's so strange to think that, if that hadn't happened, they might have become a couple, gotten married, had kids - and me, my brother, her and her brother wouldn't have ever existed. This was only like a year or two before he met my mum, they were at that age where people started to settle down (apparently the date was my dad accompanying this woman to a wedding!) - and I think just through simple story telling like that, I've come to feel like I'm a lot closer to my dad than I ever realised I was before... sorry for the rant. If you have a dad, talk to him, dads seem to get forgotten about and blamed for a lot of things!

Aww, that's nice Greg My dad is a wanker though, I have no desire to get to know him any better.

[Doogle]

Mum. Never met my Dad.

[Tom]

Originally Posted by Little Donkey

Mum. Never met my Dad.

Do you know who your dad is or is it a bit Jeremy Kyle-esque?

[Doogle]

Originally Posted by Tom

Do you know who your dad is or is it a bit Jeremy Kyle-esque?

My Mum travelled abroad for 10 years and she met my Dad while in Turkey (he's actually Turkish, he wasn't visiting or anything) and they were together however long and eventually Mum came back to England but she'd fallen pregnant. My Dad knew And told her he was going to visit but he never did. I found him on Facebook when I was 12 and have occasionally spoken to him. He's married and has a daughter and lives in Malta now.

So I've always grown up with my Mum but I used to go round my friends houses every day after school until about 6PM because my mum worked full time for me. None of this living off benefits ****.

[Jords]

Closer to me muv and my brother is closer to dad.

[Jords]

As a child Ive never really been close to my dad, we have very different attitudes and my brother shares more interests with him. Weve had our fair share of family issues that lead me siding against him also and even hating him for a while, however this past year or so Ive spoken a lot more with him and got on a lot more too... hes been pretty good surprisingly but then maybe thats because he got his own way... hmm.

[Samuel.]

I'm surprised this poll result is so one sided. What does that say about men's parenting abilities :S

[Z]

Originally Posted by Samuel.

I'm surprised this poll result is so one sided. What does that say about men's parenting abilities :S

I don't think it's a reflection on dad's being bad parents per se, I think it's just more that everyone on this forum (I reckon) comes from a generation where mums stayed at home for the majority of their childhood and/or were single mothers, so by default you spent more time with your mum and are biased towards her. I could be wrong, but that's the impression I get from reading the posts in here... really good thread!

[Niamh.]

Originally Posted by Samuel.

I'm surprised this poll result is so one sided. What does that say about men's parenting abilities :S

I think mens parenting skills are getting better as generations go by. Women were pretty much always the primary care giver before, but now it's becoming a joint thing (which is only right) and I think that, as dads become more involved, dad/child relationships will improve too. Family courts need to take this into account as well though and change their attitudes, it's incredibly one sided (in the mothers favour) atm

[Samuel.]

Originally Posted by Zee

I don't think it's a reflection on dad's being bad parents per se, I think it's just more that everyone on this forum (I reckon) comes from a generation where mums stayed at home for the majority of their childhood and/or were single mothers, so by default you spent more time with your mum and are biased towards her. I could be wrong, but that's the impression I get from reading the posts in here... really good thread!

Yeah, that's probably true for the most part. I feel like it's a bit too one sided for it to just be that though. Sounds like there are quite a few dads who just don't connect with their children as much for whatever reason.

Originally Posted by Christmas Neeve

I think mens parenting skills are getting better as generations go by. Women were pretty much always the primary care giver before, but now it's becoming a joint thing (which is only right) and I think that, as dads become more involved, dad/child relationships will improve too. Family courts need to take this into account as well though and change their attitudes, it's incredibly one sided (in the mothers favour) atm

Yeah, I'd like to think it'll even itself out in the nearish future, especially where the family courts/who becomes the primary carer is concerned.

[Tom]

Originally Posted by Samuel.

I'm surprised this poll result is so one sided. What does that say about men's parenting abilities :S

Making a huge assumption, you need to factor in that certain types of people will be drawn to one parent. A lot of the voters on the poll (and just general people on this forum for that matter, remember it is a BB forum) are female or gay so maybe drawn towards their mum. If you did the same poll for the general public I think dads would get more votes. On a personal level everyone says my baby will be a daddys boy because he seems all for me at the minute and am the only one that can shut him up crying ... so can't be doing that bad a job so far?

I agree with your later comment about dads not connecting though, women are naturally maternal and men aren't. That will come across to children.

[King Gizzard]

Mother

Still my favourite person in the world

[Roy Mars III]

Originally Posted by Zee

I don't think it's a reflection on dad's being bad parents per se, I think it's just more that everyone on this forum (I reckon) comes from a generation where mums stayed at home for the majority of their childhood and/or were single mothers, so by default you spent more time with your mum and are biased towards her. I could be wrong, but that's the impression I get from reading the posts in here... really good thread!

Yeah, I agree. Now that I'm older, and my dad doesn't travel for work anymore, I'm very close to him as well. My dad and I have very similar interest, so we bond over that, which is good and helps alot

[MTVN]

I think people tend to feel closer to their Mothers growing up because that's who they spend the most time with, in most cases the Father will be working a lot more than the Mother, especially in the first few months when the Mum will be off on maternity leave and caring for the baby. My Dad worked quite long hours for most of my childhood, and I've also never been as close to him because we have different interests really, he's all into boats, planes and stuff like that while my Mum is oddly a big football, cricket and in general a sports fan so that's always something that's made it easier to connect with her

[Ninastar]

Originally Posted by Jingle Bellend

Mother

Still my favourite person in the world

awww

[Livia]

Both. My mother is a remarkable woman with a successful career in the fashion industry, working full time and yet remaining a loving, nurturing mother. She gave me a love of music and nature. My father is my hero. He always told me I could be whatever I wanted, he gave me a love of history, astronomy and literature and always had time for my brother and myself. All our friends wanted our parents to be their parents and there was always a houseful of kids. I count myself lucky and I treasure them every day.

[Shaun]

Probably my mum. From about the age of 14 I found it difficult to communicate with my dad because they had just gone through a messy separation, but I always joked with him and he sparked my interest for football, following the news and most of the comedy I watch. In retrospect I wish I'd spent more time with him but oh well. I still love my mum more than anything though, just for the amount of self-sacrifice and worry she puts herself through for me and everyone else

[Kerry]

Nan. She was amazing

My parents died when I was a child and she was my hero

[Saph]

Mum My dad left when I was a baby so never really knew him and my step-dad (who moved in when i was 2) is just the total opposite to me :\ He's a nice enough person but I see him more as someone living in our house rather than a 'father-figure'

[Mystic Mock]

Im really close to both of my parents but when I was younger I always took my anger out at my Dad,maybe because he was always at work while my Mom was there for me,I dont know.

But about a year ago when my Dad left his job I got really close to him,I never hated him anyway but I understand his behaviour alot more now.