[Munchkins]

Here goes omg, i bet no-one will read this but

Hello I’m Jenna, and I’m from the UK.. I’m sweet Seventeen.. fun fun fun. I really have no idea what I want to do in the future, I get really good grades, but I just have no idea what I should be, and so im kinda stuck at a crossroad which sucks, as I’ll have to make my mind up soon enough

I’m a bit of a selfish bitch, I put up a front, and don’t let anyone in to be honest, most of my best friends don’t know the slightest of information about me, like some of my best friends didn’t even know where I lived until like a few months ago, and they’ve known me all my life. I come across cold at times, and I’d rather just not let people get close to me, I prefer to be alone, and that sucks but it is what it is, and I feel guilty for my friends. I've recently started socializing more, but it's been very very difficult


I got diagnosed with EDNOS (Eating disorder not otherwise specified) when I was 13, I’ve always hated how I look and I ABSOLUTELY cannot stand writing things like this on the internet, or even talking about it in real life, because it just comes across complete attention seeking and that annoys me, so I just never bother to talk about it, I’d rather people not know, so this post is hard. At my worst I was simply having a bottle of volvic flavoured water, and a Rivita, I genuinely just thought I was so fat and ugly. I currently weigh 7 stone 3lbs and I’m really not happy at all, but I’m forcing myself to get through it. I’ll never be happy with how I look tbh, and I’ll always want to be thinner or have a smaller nose etc, but I’m just trying to learn to live with it, and focusing on my studies, prevents me from getting too sad about it. I've never self harmed or anything though ,because the thought of harming my body would just make me hate it even more idk! :s

I love Dancing, I find it such a passion participating in tournaments and everything, and it takes my mind off a lot of things!
I identified my self as Asexual a few months ago, but I know that isn’t true, it’s very complicated, I can’t see myself ever going out with someone, the thought of ever letting someone into my life, and allowing them to know everything about me utterly terrifies me, and so I just don’t see the point. I can put up a front online, and everything but in real life the thought of someone even touching me or kissing me makes me want to be sick, and that’s scary, like the thought of it makes me shiver nad that’s not right for someone my age :s

So yeah I really have no idea what I’ll do in the future, and I hate the thought that this post will just be deemed as attention seeking but whatever -_-