[Vicky.]

Also, I feel the need to point out here..when I was actually IN LABOUR..the hospital pumped me full of codeine, told me to go home and have a bath and a glass of wine (while on tablets!) and relax.

So no, I dont think it can do as much harm as some think. Or the hospital wouldn't have advised that. I don't drink wine anyway unless I want to get pissed, so I didnt do it mind.

Some of you would think I was an absolute monster when I was pregnant, I never gave up smoking completely, though I did cut down to about 2 a day..midwife said this was ok as smoking so little is pretty much the same as not smoking. I drank blue wkd (it was one of my cravings in the early days too..which was awkward ) a few times a week..though only one or two small bottles too.

[Vicky.]

Originally Posted by Shaun

I'm so bored of this overprotective BS. If it ends up damaging the child then it's her problem, nobody else's. All of this "I should stop her from buying something potentially harmful to the child" nonsense... so does that mean she shouldn't be able to buy kitchen knives? Paracetamol? Cars? I mean cars might lead to the death of both mother and foetus, so they're more dangerous, right?

It's so much weight put on what "might" be harmful to the child (and since that medical advice varies from midwife to midwife, and doctors, as Vicky pointed out) when really, what this boils down to is a man failing to do his job.

I swear to god if you listen to all of the guidelines and such when pregnant, you would live on nothing but raw veg. But no carrots as they are bad for you now apparently

I tried to do everything right to begin with. In the end, I ate as I normally do, cut back on drinking and smoking, took my vitamins, and enjoyed my pregnancy. I think it would have drove me crazy to be obsessively watching every little thing that went into my body and constantly 'resting'. The stress of doing that would have been no good for the baby either :S

I am nearly certain that all these holier than thou types are either men who dont understand, people who have never been pregnant, or people who are kidding themselves. I honestly think you would be hard pushed to find someone who had stuck to the 'rules' right through their pregnancy. Even little things like eating an egg or a nut can cause problems. The last few months are the safest too. So if you are goig to 'cheat', its the best time to do it.

[Kizzy]

Why is FAS being brought up?
it's another example of an overreaction to this situation, she had one 125ml glass... one.
In no universe would that cause FAS.
It was only his opinion it was wrong, providing alcohol to those intoxicated or underage is illegal... this isn't.
He should keep his ignorant uneducated opinions to himself then he wouldn't embarrass himself and others.

[Niamh.]

Originally Posted by Vicky.

I swear to god if you listen to all of the guidelines and such when pregnant, you would live on nothing but raw veg. But no carrots as they are bad for you now apparently

I tried to do everything right to begin with. In the end, I ate as I normally do, cut back on drinking and smoking, took my vitamins, and enjoyed my pregnancy. I think it would have drove me crazy to be obsessively watching every little thing that went into my body and constantly 'resting'. The stress of doing that would have been no good for the baby either :S

When my mom was pregnant with my older brother, Liver was supposed to be good for you when you're pregnant so she ate it everyday........now they say it's really bad to eat while pregnant. They're constantly changing the rules on these things.

[Z]

Originally Posted by Kizzy

Why is FAS being brought up?
it's another example of an overreaction to this situation, she had one 125ml glass... one.
In no universe would that cause FAS.
It was only his opinion it was wrong, providing alcohol to those intoxicated or underage is illegal... this isn't.
He should keep his ignorant uneducated opinions to himself then he wouldn't embarrass himself and others.

Because how are we supposed to know this woman is only having one glass of wine a week and she's living this perfectly healthy pregnancy lifestyle? She comes across as a hysterical attention seeker to me by going to the media over something so trivial, personally I wouldn't want my pregnant partner to be drinking alcohol at all while she was carrying my child but that's neither here nor there. I brought up foetal alcohol syndrome because it's something that happens if you binge drink while pregnant. You don't get FAS from being sober for 9 months. WHY would anyone take the risk of crippling their unborn child and seriously messing them up when they could just abstain and not? No, I'm not a woman and no, I've never had a child, but I know that if I worked in a bar and I was asked for a drink by a pregnant woman, I couldn't serve her, it would go against my morals. "Ignorant uneducated opinions"??? Seriously? It's a commonly held belief that drinking alcohol while pregnant is damaging. It's only a very recent discovery that that is not the case. He hasn't embarrassed himself. This woman has, by turning her indignant attitude into media fodder.

[Vicky.]

Originally Posted by Niamh.

When my mom was pregnant with my older brother, Liver was supposed to be good for you when you're pregnant so she ate it everyday........now they say it's really bad to eat while pregnant. They're constantly changing the rules on these things.

Exactly. Which is why you get conflicting medical advice.

To be honest, I am of the opinion that they dont actually know what causes problems and what doesnt, so they just make it up as they go along. Though obviously blaming smoking/drinking for the bulk, like with everything else (I once went to the docs with a cold and was told it was through smoking )

Apparently when my mum was pregnant, the advice was a pint of Guinness a day to stop anemia. Which is probably where the guinness thing came from from my midwife. I guess I should have listened and forced myself to drink guiness, as through not doing so, I ended up with anemia about 20 weeks in

[Kizzy]

Originally Posted by Vicky.

I swear to god if you listen to all of the guidelines and such when pregnant, you would live on nothing but raw veg. But no carrots as they are bad for you now apparently

I tried to do everything right to begin with. In the end, I ate as I normally do, cut back on drinking and smoking, took my vitamins, and enjoyed my pregnancy. I think it would have drove me crazy to be obsessively watching every little thing that went into my body and constantly 'resting'. The stress of doing that would have been no good for the baby either :S

I am nearly certain that all these holier than thou types are either men who dont understand, people who have never been pregnant, or people who are kidding themselves. I honestly think you would be hard pushed to find someone who had stuck to the 'rules' right through their pregnancy. Even little things like eating an egg or a nut can cause problems. The last few months are the safest too. So if you are goig to 'cheat', its the best time to do it.

Well done you vicky, so either now there will be a full 180 from some or you will be ripped to shreds.... Place your bets!

[Vicky.]

I bet on ripped to shreds..but meh. My body, I had no problems, and my baby is healthy. Would have had the same turnout if I had stressed myself to hell and timed my meals down to the second and planned my meals down to the calorie and not moved for 9 months bar a short brisk walk twice a day. I did it right by me

[Niamh.]

Originally Posted by Zee

Because how are we supposed to know this woman is only having one glass of wine a week and she's living this perfectly healthy pregnancy lifestyle? She comes across as a hysterical attention seeker to me by going to the media over something so trivial, personally I wouldn't want my pregnant partner to be drinking alcohol at all while she was carrying my child but that's neither here nor there. I brought up foetal alcohol syndrome because it's something that happens if you binge drink while pregnant. You don't get FAS from being sober for 9 months. WHY would anyone take the risk of crippling their unborn child and seriously messing them up when they could just abstain and not? No, I'm not a woman and no, I've never had a child, but I know that if I worked in a bar and I was asked for a drink by a pregnant woman, I couldn't serve her, it would go against my morals. "Ignorant uneducated opinions"??? Seriously? It's a commonly held belief that drinking alcohol while pregnant is damaging. It's only a very recent discovery that that is not the case. He hasn't embarrassed himself. This woman has, by turning her indignant attitude into media fodder.

At the end of the day, it's this womans body and nobody elses. If she's going to be irresponsible and get drunk, she's going to do that regardless of whether that barman served her or not although it doesn't seem like this is the case. If I were her I would feel the same way about some idiot telling me what I can and can't put into MY body.

[Kizzy]

Originally Posted by Zee

Because how are we supposed to know this woman is only having one glass of wine a week and she's living this perfectly healthy pregnancy lifestyle? She comes across as a hysterical attention seeker to me by going to the media over something so trivial, personally I wouldn't want my pregnant partner to be drinking alcohol at all while she was carrying my child but that's neither here nor there. I brought up foetal alcohol syndrome because it's something that happens if you binge drink while pregnant. You don't get FAS from being sober for 9 months. WHY would anyone take the risk of crippling their unborn child and seriously messing them up when they could just abstain and not? No, I'm not a woman and no, I've never had a child, but I know that if I worked in a bar and I was asked for a drink by a pregnant woman, I couldn't serve her, it would go against my morals. "Ignorant uneducated opinions"??? Seriously? It's a commonly held belief that drinking alcohol while pregnant is damaging. It's only a very recent discovery that that is not the case. He hasn't embarrassed himself. This woman has, by turning her indignant attitude into media fodder.

How are you supposed to know?...
Because she told us in the article zee, and I wouldn't have said highlighting this issue for other expectant mothers is wrong if they happened to be confronted by the patron saint of barpersons trying to save their soul...
It is not your child or his child it is their child the mother and father who were attempting to have a nice evening, before someone came stomping on it with their big 'moral' boots!
It is a common belief that a LOT of alcohol causes problems.... it is a myth that one glass does.

[Z]

Originally Posted by Kizzy

How are you supposed to know?...
Because she told us in the article zee, and I wouldn't have said highlighting this issue for other expectant mothers is wrong if they happened to be confronted by the patron saint of barpersons trying to save their soul...
It is not your child or his child it is their child the mother and father who were attempting to have a nice evening, before someone came stomping on it with their big 'moral' boots!
It is a common belief that a LOT of alcohol causes problems.... it is a myth that one glass does.

Yeah but how's a barman supposed to know if she's not had one yet or if she's been tanning wine every day of her pregnancy and this is her on her first one of the night? I just think if I were in his position, I wouldn't want to be responsible for that. I don't take personal opinion pieces at face value because you're just getting one side of a story here, I'd be interested to hear what the barman has to say for himself because maybe this woman was acting like she was drunk (even if she was totally sober) or maybe he just believed that it was wrong to give alcohol to a pregnant woman.

[smudgie]

I wonder what the position is re having sex whilst pregnant, how often and up to how near the birth. Next thing they will be telling us to abstain from that as well.

Wonder just how many men would be happy if that was the case.

[Niamh.]

Originally Posted by smudgie

I wonder what the position is re having sex whilst pregnant, how often and up to how near the birth. Next thing they will be telling us to abstain from that as well.

Wonder just how many men would be happy if that was the case.

[MTVN]

I dont really know why having a small glass of wine with a meal is being equated with alcoholism or evidence of a drinking problem. Most people dont drink purely for the intention of getting off their face drunk, and in this case even less so, its simply a completely normal and harmless part of going out to eat in the evening

[Kizzy]

Originally Posted by Zee

Yeah but how's a barman supposed to know if she's not had one yet or if she's been tanning wine every day of her pregnancy and this is her on her first one of the night? I just think if I were in his position, I wouldn't want to be responsible for that. I don't take personal opinion pieces at face value because you're just getting one side of a story here, I'd be interested to hear what the barman has to say for himself because maybe this woman was acting like she was drunk (even if she was totally sober) or maybe he just believed that it was wrong to give alcohol to a pregnant woman.

Too many ifs and buts in there.
He may have made an assumption that would be wrong too, he could have given his explanation had he wanted to. Maybe his 'conscience' wouldn't let him?

[Z]

Originally Posted by MTVN

I dont really know why having a small glass of wine with a meal is being equated with alcoholism or evidence of a drinking problem. Most people dont drink purely for the intention of getting off their face drunk, and in this case even less so, its simply a completely normal and harmless part of going out to eat in the evening

It's not, but I don't see why you need to have a glass of wine every week like clockwork when there are no apparent benefits to drinking one, it's just not harmful as was once thought - and up until I read this thread for the first time, I still believed was the case as I'm sure most people who aren't expecting a baby do too.

[Z]

Originally Posted by Kizzy

Too many ifs and buts in there.
He may have made an assumption that would be wrong too, he could have given his explanation had he wanted to. Maybe his 'conscience' wouldn't let him?

There are also too many ifs and buts with taking medical advice on pregnancy seeing as the rules change all the time. How much would you kick yourself if you drank alcohol throughout your pregnancy, once a week with a 125ml glass of wine, only to discover you'd damaged your child in some way. It's much easier to just... not do it. My sympathies are with the barman, he wasn't trying to impress morals on the woman, he just didn't want it on his conscience - which is totally fair enough if you ask me. I'm sorry for the woman that she feels humiliated but I'm fairly sure her hormones are causing her to overreact to such a minor incident that nobody in the bar would remember 10 minutes later and going to the media over it?!

[Vanessa]

I think it's better if pregnant women don't drink at all. However, a small glass once in a while won't do any harm.

[Kizzy]

Originally Posted by Zee

There are also too many ifs and buts with taking medical advice on pregnancy seeing as the rules change all the time. How much would you kick yourself if you drank alcohol throughout your pregnancy, once a week with a 125ml glass of wine, only to discover you'd damaged your child in some way. It's much easier to just... not do it. My sympathies are with the barman, he wasn't trying to impress morals on the woman, he just didn't want it on his conscience - which is totally fair enough if you ask me. I'm sorry for the woman that she feels humiliated but I'm fairly sure her hormones are causing her to overreact to such a minor incident that nobody in the bar would remember 10 minutes later and going to the media over it?!

So now she's just a hysterical hormonal woman?.... keep digging!

[Z]

Originally Posted by Kizzy

So now she's just a hysterical hormonal woman?.... keep digging!

I don't remember reading about it in the press the last time I saw someone be refused service in a bar.

[Kizzy]

Originally Posted by Zee

I don't remember reading about it in the press the last time I saw someone be refused service in a bar.

As I said eariler, in cases where someone is refused service the employee are acting either within the law or company policy...
This was neither was it?
Just some guy inflicting his half baked assumptions on to customers, many would have felt aggrieved.

[Cherie]

Originally Posted by Zee

Kitchen knives are for chopping. Paracetamol is for pain. Cars are for transport. Alcohol is for getting drunk. There is a marked difference between an item that could secondarily cause adverse effects and something that has a primary objective of messing up the human body. A bar is inclined to not serve you if it thinks serving you will cause it problems - whether that be a too-drunk-18-year-old or a heavily-pregnant-mother-to-be. Foetal alcohol syndrome is an actual thing. It's common knowledge that getting drunk while you're pregnant is frowned upon. The barman made his choice and most people think he was right to do so - he didn't serve her because he thought it would be wrong to do so. He didn't not serve her just to embarrass her. He didn't fail to do his job, rather he did his job properly - he didn't give alcohol to someone he felt shouldn't be drinking alcohol.

And there in lies the problem, there are people who can and do have just one or two drinks to relax but without the aim of getting drunk, Im not sure this womans aim was to get drunk either as otherwise she would have ordered a bottle!

[Scarlett.]

I don't get why she was so desperate for wine that she went to the media about it, I mean, Jesus, surely she can go without it during pregnancy, just in case. Do people really find it so hard to live without alcohol?

[Vanessa]

Originally Posted by Chewy

I don't get why she was so desperate for wine that she went to the media about it, I mean, Jesus, surely she can go without it during pregnancy, just in case. Do people really find it so hard to live without alcohol?

It's 9 months. I'd find it impossible.

[Cherie]

Originally Posted by Chewy

I don't get why she was so desperate for wine that she went to the media about it, I mean, Jesus, surely she can go without it during pregnancy, just in case. Do people really find it so hard to live without alcohol?

It was the principal surely of being told what to do with her body? does this barman refuse to serve men more than two pints just in case they decide to drive home whilst over the limit, and kill someone in the process. It was a small glass of wine she wasn't lining up shots on the bar top and dancing naked on the tables.

Originally Posted by Vanessa

It's 9 months. I'd find it impossible.