[user104658]

We've discussed the idea of fostering older kids (13 - 17) when we're older, but not until our own kids have grown up and moved out. My sister in law is a bit younger than us (just turned 18) and has had a lot of friends from troubled homes, in and out of foster care, and so many of them are really bright, polite kids when they're given a chance... and the support they get makes all the difference. The ones who are placed with people who are really willing and able to help them along - and respect them and treat them like adults - can really excell, whereas the ones who aren't lucky enough to find someone who really cares (FAR too many people foster teens for the money and just provide a room and leave them to it) inevitably end up sliding further and further downhill.

Anyway, I think we could definitely help such kids figure out what they want from life and take those steps towards independence and it would be really rewarding when it works out. With older kids too, if they do go back home you can still tell them that you're there if they need help or advice, or if they need to leave their home again for any reason. You can have a more equal relationship based on supporting them as individuals, I guess.

I could never foster a younger child. A lot of the time, they end up going back home, to homes that are still awful, and parents who ate still just going to wreck them. It would break my heart to get to know and care for a young child and then watch them go back to that.