[daniel-lewis-1985]

Originally Posted by Niamh.

I would say most if not all couples have ups and downs, I don't think sleeping with other people is going to stop that from happening in fact, sleeping with other people while you're on a "down" in your relationship could be the end of the relationship imo

The point Luisa made in the column was to be upfront from the start of the relationship and see where it takes them. I don't think she once said sleeping with someone else if both parties are not on the same wave length is right.

She is suggesting that people who jump into a monogamous relationship straight away with high expectations are more at risk of getting hurt when someone cheats on them as would most people.

But if the foundation of the relationship is the *Lets not be serious straight away and takes things slow, see where it goes approach imo could end up a much stronger relationship when those two people finally decide they want to be together as its been 100% honest from the start.

The paranoia, suspicion, checking texts, being extremely jealous if your partner dare look at another attractive person business that comes with 100% commitment from day 1 is destructive.

I am sure we have al faced situations like that and its not fun so I think she has a point. I haven't had a relationship for 3 years and that's due to the hassle it brings with the whole "why didn't you call me" "who were you out with" "why hasn't he text me" business, im defo going to try a more relaxed approach next time and just see where it goes.

Its basically just dating various people before committing to that 1 person.