[sassysocks]

Originally Posted by Kizzy

You were suggesting that in every instance the child is best suited with the mother, that is fundamentally not correct.
Nobody is obsessing on anything, it's important to try to see both sides of the coin.
The 1950s analogy of women in the home is very sweet but it doesn't translate in modern times, nobodys needs/feelings should be given priority except the children who deserve equal time with both parents.

One poster only ever mentioned the effects on the fathers, not the children, as well as making many derogatory remarks against single mothers generally - it sounded very personal and very obsessive to me.

And for the record, I was not suggesting that the mother was best suited in every situation, only that men were not either. Unless there are specific reasons against it, young children are nearly always best off with the mother, I don't think most people would disagree with that. Older children can make their own choice.

What on earth has the 50's got to do with anything, I can assure you I have no affiliation with the 50's - I think they were terrible times for women.

[Kizzy]

That's not the gist of your original post I quoted in which you stated it was due to the fact the woman carried the child that entitled her to raise the child alone if she so wished.
I don't agree with that.

[sassysocks]

Originally Posted by Kizzy

That's not the gist of your original post I quoted in which you stated it was due to the fact the woman carried the child that entitled her to raise the child alone if she so wished.
I don't agree with that.

Either you misunderstood me or I didn't make my point very well. I was not saying that a mother was entitled to raise the child alone if she wished, I was saying that when both parents are equally able to look after the child and are each seeking sole custody, the mother should, in most cases, get priority, particularly with very young children. Given those circumstances, why would a father be given priority? The very nature of carrying a child, giving birth and breast feeding does generally create a particular bond between mother and baby.

In an ideal situation they would get joint custody, but if there was a lot of animosity between them and both wanted sole custody, without extenuating circumstances, it is best for young children to be with the mother.

And even then, I did not suggest the other parent shouldn't be involved in the child's life, just that, in that situation, the mother should get preference for full custody. At no time did I mention anything about the mother choosing to raise the child alone - that is a different subject altogether.

[Niamh.]

Originally Posted by sassysocks

Either you misunderstood me or I didn't make my point very well. I was not saying that a mother was entitled to raise the child alone if she wished, I was saying that when both parents are equally able to look after the child and are each seeking sole custody, the mother should, in most cases, get priority, particularly with very young children. Given those circumstances, why would a father be given priority? The very nature of carrying a child, giving birth and breast feeding does generally create a particular bond between mother and baby.

In an ideal situation they would get joint custody, but if there was a lot of animosity between them and both wanted sole custody, without extenuating circumstances, it is best for young children to be with the mother.

And even then, I did not suggest the other parent shouldn't be involved in the child's life, just that, in that situation, the mother should get preference for full custody. At no time did I mention anything about the mother choosing to raise the child alone - that is a different subject altogether.

Just because both parents want sole custody shouldn't mean that either gets it. Unless there's a valid reason why either one shouldn't, then they should be given joint custody by a judge and they should be told to grow the **** up and consider their child needs rather than their own selfishness

[Livia]

Originally Posted by Niamh.

Just because both parents want sole custody shouldn't mean that either gets it. Unless there's a valid reason why either one shouldn't, then they should be given joint custody by a judge and they should be told to grow the **** up and consider their child needs rather than their own selfishness