[Ammi]

Originally Posted by kirklancaster

In another thread, LeatherTrumpet (in one of his more grumpy moods) raises a very intriguing question about whether we should 'lie' to our kids or not. Whilst I have never consciously lied to my kids on 'serious' matters, I delighted in 'lying' to them when they were young in order to 'enrich' their childhood.

For example, I not only always told them that Father Christmas really existed, but I also went to great lengths to convince them of it, doing the whole dressing up and creeping in to their bedroom stuff, and even faking reindeer hoof prints, boot prints and sleigh print marks on the snow covered back porch roof in snowy years.

Around Bonfire night, I used to tell them that at this time of year the night sky was full of Evil Witches who were flying on their broomsticks but had turned themselves invisible so we humans couldn't see them. I used to set off sky rockets after telling my children how, whenever one of these 'special' rockets hit an invisible witch, they would 'explode' into a burst of stars.
I'll never forget cuddling my kids close and the pure excitement on their little faces as each rocket 'hit another witch'.

What do you think? Is convincing kids of such stuff really 'Lying'?

..I don't believe in lying as such..with the Father Christmas/Santa thing and things like the tooth fairy etc...it's just a 'magic' that is a universal thing and I think to actually say from a very young age that there is no Father Christmas would be to deprive your child from something very positive to them..also from my experience, when a child does find out that it's actually parents who have been 'Santa', they do appreciate gifts more and the expense of them..?...and then their Christmas list starts to get a little more 'realistic'..?...I've never really done Bonfire Night much but with Halloween, it was always quite a big thing when the boys were younger, but just in terms of us all going Trick or Treating and we always had a big party with all of their and our friends with 'scary food' so it was something they loved because it was things we all did together and of course the dressing up bit.....but we never really talked about 'witches' as such...as they got older, we enjoyed 'scary stories' but they never thought of them as anything more than stories/fiction ..and obviously the level of scary was dependant on their age as well....


...I think it's less about 'lying' and more about finding a way to explain some of the sadder stuff to your own child/an individual thing like so many things are because a parent knows their child better than anyone and knows their level of understanding, you know/and they're the best judgement on these things..?..because these it's not 'one size fits all'...just like adults, every child is different and their understanding and processes with information is all different..there are some details of awful stuff that I personally don't feel the need to know but others would be fine with it or even feel that they 'need to know'....but for me, I wouldn't be 'brutally honest' to the point of unnecessary details when the boys were younger but I would be truthful if that makes sense...explaining on levels they understood ..a bit off topic though, with children...?..one of my own personal 'pet hates' was 'baby talk' with children...a dog is a dog, it's not a 'doggy'...a cow is not a moo moo either..it's a cow.....just using the correct words for things.....