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CaudleHalbard · 09-02-2015, 12:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Livia

I think smacking stupid people should be allowed. Compulsory, in fact.

Totally agree!

Vicky. · 09-02-2015, 02:02 PM

Not too sure where I stand on this...having pretty much brought up one of gavs sons who literally did not listen to anything or no punishment seemed to work.

We tried everything we could think of, from letting him explain his views/feelings completely then attempting to sort out whatever his problem was(softly softly approach...), to taking away his toys for set amounts of time, to grounding him, to early bedtimes, to firm verbal retribution...nothing worked. Eventually our GP suggested a smack every now and again, not enough to hurt properly, but enough to shock.

There was never a problem with his brother and sister. A firm voice was always enough. They have never been smacked. But he had to be. It was the only thing that ever made him listen

Those who are against smacking in all situations...what should have been done with him? Allow him to continue doing what he wants all the time?

the truth · 09-02-2015, 02:07 PM

smacking is a last resort but an essential one in emergency situations

Niamh. · 09-02-2015, 02:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Vicky.

Not too sure where I stand on this...having pretty much brought up one of gavs sons who literally did not listen to anything or no punishment seemed to work.

We tried everything we could think of, from letting him explain his views/feelings completely then attempting to sort out whatever his problem was(softly softly approach...), to taking away his toys for set amounts of time, to grounding him, to early bedtimes, to firm verbal retribution...nothing worked. Eventually our GP suggested a smack every now and again, not enough to hurt properly, but enough to shock.

There was never a problem with his brother and sister. A firm voice was always enough. They have never been smacked. But he had to be. It was the only thing that ever made him listen

Those who are against smacking in all situations...what should have been done with him? Allow him to continue doing what he wants all the time?

wow a doctor advised that? I'm pretty shocked to hear that tbh.

Vicky. · 09-02-2015, 02:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Niamh.

wow a doctor advised that? I'm pretty shocked to hear that tbh.

Yup..it worked too. A couple of smacks along the line (taps is more like it tbh, but it did shock him) and now that he is 8 usually all it takes is a stern no and he listens.

People will judge because of this, but he was literally horrid. He would be constantly hitting/biting/hurting his brother and sister. Now he doesn't lay a finger on them (besides play fighting and such)

Niamh. · 09-02-2015, 02:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Vicky.

Yup..it worked too. A couple of smacks along the line (taps is more like it tbh, but it did shock him) and now that he is 8 usually all it takes is a stern no and he listens.

mmm I'm just not a fan of it, it doesn't sit right with me. In regards to your question from the last post though, eh I don't think I can really answer it without having been in that situation ever

Nedusa · 09-02-2015, 03:18 PM

I think ultimately a parent has the right to decide whether to discipline their child and what form that discipline should take.

Obviously there is a line over which smacking becomes abuse but only a very very small minority of parents would do that, and clearly they should not have children.

In general though the law must leave parents alone to decide these things otherwise we become a heavy handed fascist police state with everyone spying on everyone else.

.

Kizzy · 09-02-2015, 03:41 PM

I agree, children are strange little things... my sisters daughter was very cute but a really obstinate, difficult and willful child compared to mine, I felt so sorry for her as she literally ran rings around her and every day was a battle from what socks she wore in the morning to how long she read for in bed at night.
She wasn't mine but I used to want to slap her sometimes

jennyjuniper · 09-02-2015, 03:52 PM

I grew up in a time where corporal punishment in school was legal. I was caned a few times and while it hurt at the time, I very quickly learned not to do what I had been doing to get caned in the first place.
The police at that time would give a clip round the ear and send you on your way with a warning to tell your parents if they caught you doing wrong again.
It was worse in my mothers childhood, because then schools didn't cane girls, but if a girl misbehaved, they caned that girls brothers instead (The girl usually got a punch from her brothers anyway)
I don't know if it's right or not to slap children. All I can say is it didn't do me any lasting damage.

the truth · 09-02-2015, 04:02 PM

I got spanked regularly by a 19 year old girl....I have no complaints

smudgie · 09-02-2015, 04:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Niamh.

wow a doctor advised that? I'm pretty shocked to hear that tbh.

when my son was little, my doctor advised a clip around the ear for him.
He was treating me for a sore throat at the time, he used to say he knew when the school holidays were b the amount of mothers who were sufferng with their nodules.

user104658 · 09-02-2015, 05:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jennyjuniper

.
It was worse in my mothers childhood, because then schools didn't cane girls, but if a girl misbehaved, they caned that girls brothers instead (The girl usually got a punch from her brothers anyway)

What the... That is some seriously messed up **** right there!

user104658 · 09-02-2015, 05:32 PM

All I can say to the rest of it, is that there are ALWAYS reasons for a child being aggressive or acting up. Always. Just because they're not obvious or because no one can be bothered to properly figure out what the issue is, doesn't mean there isn't one.

Shouting, threatening, coercing, bribing, blackmailing - none of these are appropriate "smacking substitutes". They're just more examples of lazy parenting. You absolutely CAN reason with a child of 4+ and reach a mutual understanding, if you take the time to properly know them and understand them. The key word is MUTUAL understanding and respect. Not imposing your will on a child and having them be obedient. An understood and respected child will be understanding and respectful. Most parents are just "too busy" (or too lazy, or too stupid) to bother and go with the easy options like shouting, screaming, blackmailing, threatening and hitting.