[the truth]

Originally Posted by Redway

Of course, this thread had to be about your sexist drivel and misogynistic and quite frankly disgusting views on women, as per. It's almost impossible to believe you even have a mother given the nonsense you spout about the female sex.

And only about a quarter of children grow up with a single parent in the UK... hardly "most". If you're going to post rubbish and pass it off as hard fact, at least provide some evidence

half the parents spilt up, but thanks for the personal attack which this site claims is not allowed ? pls stop falsely accusing me of sexism,, the mother here is a disgrace as is the father

[the truth]

Originally Posted by AnnieK

Unfortunately, her mother is a main protagonist in this. She admits to giving her condensed milk as a child,filling her up on cakes and biscuits as a child and After she lost 14st at a "fat camp" in America she welcomed her back with fat laden food. As well as this young ladies attitude to food needs Addressing, so do those around her. Killing with kindness springs to mind. Sad.

I agree...but be careful they may start calling you sexist for criticizing a woman, oh no I forgot youre a woman so youre allowed to criticize a woman, im a man so If I dare criticize a woman I get labelled a sexist, what a joke. the mother is too blame as is the absentee father...though no doubt the mother probably cut him off from his daughter as so many do

[the truth]

Originally Posted by hijaxers

Not too nasty then - well glad i'm not related to you

no personal attacks please , strange the mods say nothing though ? hmmm...duly reported
yes im the nasty man who let a 22 year old girl balloon to 55 stones....what a joke. her parents should be utterly ashamed of themselves...hopefully she keeps away from them and reprogrammes her life

[the truth]

Originally Posted by Kizzy

It's still off topic but this addiction is looked on more favourably than others not sure why, they are all as destructive and cause complex health issues.
It would be nice if all coping mechanisms were given equal understanding.

when people do the simple things, learn, work, little exercise, reasonable diet etc then don't end up 55 stones aged 22....this cannot be avoided, new labour took away peoples personal responsibilities to themselves and others....they made them enslaved to the government with no ambition , loss of self respect everything....you can blame the daily mail , good for you easy to blame them instead of allowing these people to look at themselves in the mirror and take responsibility for themselves

[Kizzy]

Originally Posted by the truth

when people do the simple things, learn, work, little exercise, reasonable diet etc then don't end up 55 stones aged 22....this cannot be avoided, new labour took away peoples personal responsibilities to themselves and others....they made them enslaved to the government with no ambition , loss of self respect everything....you can blame the daily mail , good for you easy to blame them instead of allowing these people to look at themselves in the mirror and take responsibility for themselves

Nobody took anything anywhere... People are still in charge of what they put in their mouths. The quality of the foods we buy has been deteriorating, the FSA is now almost non existent so the government have some culpability though to be fair.
What happened to this girl as a child I would class as abuse and ultimately led to the destructive behaviours she has as an adult... I'm not sure where you got I was blaming the mail for her issues.
What I am saying is it seems more acceptable to some to have a food addiction than a drink or drug addiction, even if it's similar experiences which act as a trigger.

[Ninastar]

Originally Posted by Josy

I'm sorry but there is no way at all that someone manages to get to or remain at that size by having 'the odd plate of sausage and chips or the odd takeaway' if this girl has been battling a food addiction for so long then she should have been admitted to a hospital or addiction clinic to deal with the issues, it states in that article that at only 15 years old she was diagnosed with diabetes and weighed 33stones! that is absolutely shocking and the mother was responsible for her so should have done something/anything to put a stop to it, the issue should have been dealt with then not left to fester for 7 more years.

I agree... I blame her parents and the lack of care available to help her

[the truth]

Originally Posted by Kizzy

Nobody took anything anywhere... People are still in charge of what they put in their mouths. The quality of the foods we buy has been deteriorating, the FSA is now almost non existent so the government have some culpability though to be fair.
What happened to this girl as a child I would class as abuse and ultimately led to the destructive behaviours she has as an adult... I'm not sure where you got I was blaming the mail for her issues.
What I am saying is it seems more acceptable to some to have a food addiction than a drink or drug addiction, even if it's similar experiences which act as a trigger.

in terms of sharing blame id say
70% the parents
10% on feminism destroying fathers rights to father and to mentor and guide their kids
5% useless politicians and lack of funding for support
5% to the poor education
5% for the promotion of crap food in society even at the Olympics
5% on nhs waste and mismanagement which means less support and staff etc for dieticians and nutrionists

[Marsh.]

Originally Posted by the truth

10% on feminism destroying fathers rights to father and to mentor and guide their kids

Wtf are you on? What has father's rights got to do with this particular girl?

[Kizzy]

We're discussing the history around this, posts have been directed at him he's only having his say....

The situation should have been picked up given her history of complex needs, although she as an adult so should now take some responsibility for her own health and life, it's a shame she wasn't able to call on the strength she had to overcome this as a child.

[Marsh.]

That doesn't answer my question, which remains valid.

[Kizzy]

Originally Posted by Marsh.

That doesn't answer my question, which remains valid.

It's not unusual to see the breakdown of the family to be blamed for many things... why not this?

[Marsh.]

Originally Posted by Kizzy

It's not unusual to see the breakdown of the family to be blamed for many things... why not this?

But his comment wasn't about the breakdown of the family (which can happen in a multitude of different ways) he was specifically referring to fathers losing their rights.

What about fathers that do a runner and leave the mother alone?

[the truth]

Originally Posted by Ammi

..truth you’re right, she doesn’t have a father ..she’s from a single parent family from when she was a young child and her father died, which was the time she became addicted to food/eating... She was banned from her school canteen for over-eating and stopped attending PE lessons, how would those things help but maybe it was because of health concerns...I think there is a lot of ‘blame’ that could be shared because it isn’t all her mother’s ..her mother is also someone who is addicted to food and does realise and acknowledge her own faults for her daughter but maybe she needed help as well...and yeah the cost of all of this and the previous time she was hospitalised is huge but maybe that cost could also have been avoided if both she and her mum had the care needed several years ago because for her it’s not just obesity and over-eating, it’s a mental health issue through addiction...and maybe she did have the care and maybe everything was tried and maybe nothing worked so this is her weight now and technically it is neglect I know, but maybe her mum was helpless to be able to help her daughter because her mental health wasn’t good either and the help wasn’t there for her/for either of them when they needed it..at a time when a husband and father was what they grieved so much....

male role models are almost non existent for many kids sadly....in primary and junior schools there is a tiny percent of male teachers, that is a massive disadvantage for all kids. in this case this girl tragically lost her dad and this was perhaps part of her food spiral...again it underlines the importance of a father and also the turbulence it must cause when a child loses her dad. I know id have been finished many years ago without my phenomenal dad.
quite how it reached this proportions I don't know, its tragic

[Kizzy]

He suggested it could be a contributory factor. Many fathers don't have rights for whatever reason, there could be lots of kids feeling abandoned as a result?
Her overeating was triggered by losing her father figure so you can't really say the impact of a change in the family unit didn't have an effect here.

[Marsh.]

Originally Posted by Kizzy

He suggested it could be a contributory factor. Many fathers don't have rights for whatever reason, there could be lots of kids feeling abandoned as a result?
Her overeating was triggered by losing her father figure so you can't really say the impact of a change in the family unit didn't have an effect here.

I've not said anything of the sort.

I'm questioning why the rights of the father is being brought up when there are just as many cases of the father abandoning the family.

As I was originally saying a "change in the family unit" can happen a dozen different ways.

[the truth]

Originally Posted by Marsh.

I've not said anything of the sort.

I'm questioning why the rights of the father is being brought up when there are just as many cases of the father abandoning the family.

As I was originally saying a "change in the family unit" can happen a dozen different ways.

And even more cases of mothers stopping estranged good fathers having access to their children, simply for their own selfish reasons

[Marsh.]

Originally Posted by the truth

And even more cases of mothers stopping estranged good fathers having access to their children, simply for their own selfish reasons

Where are these official statistics you're privy to?

Perfectly good parents aren't randomly cast out of their children's lives for no reason. Not on such a big scale as you're suggesting.

[the truth]

Originally Posted by Marsh.

Where are these official statistics you're privy to?

Perfectly good parents aren't randomly cast out of their children's lives for no reason. Not on such a big scale as you're suggesting.

Do you actually meet many people? It happens all the time, mothers who break up with the father of their kids go on and meet someone else and often feel the need to block the fathers relationship with his kids. in some cases poison it. happens all the time, I suggest you get out more or perhaps youd enjoy Jeremy kyle instead. these women who do this so regularly for spiteful selfish reasons should face the full wrath of the law

[Marsh.]

Originally Posted by the truth

Do you actually meet many people? It happens all the time, mothers who break up with the father of their kids go on and meet someone else and often feel the need to block the fathers relationship with his kids. in some cases poison it. happens all the time, I suggest you get out more or perhaps youd enjoy Jeremy kyle instead.

Oh so you know a lot of these people all over the country and have personally created your own survey.

Ok then. No thanks. Jeremy Kyle isn't my cup of tea.

I've known quite a few people from school age and up whose parent or parents abandoned them and in a few cases had committed suicide/had addiction problems. But I'm not so narrow minded to assume it's a common theme on a wider scale based off just my personal experience/connections.

[the truth]

A Father's Suicide Note

Utterly defeated
by the family court system,
Christopher Mackney, 45,
committed suicide
Dec 29, 2013 in Washington DC.

The love that my daughter and I shared was truly special. She is a such a sweet, kind and gentle spirit. I am so sorry that I will not be there to see her grow into a beautiful woman. It absolutely crushed me to not be in her life over the last three years. I worked very hard as a father to build her confidence and self-esteem. She is smart, funny and considerate, but she didn't know it yet. I pray that she realizes her strengths and her confidence in herself will continue to grow. I love you dearly, Lily.

My son Jack was just entering Kindergarten, when I lost access to him. He is gregarious, outgoing and a great athlete. He is smart and fearless. He could have just as much fun by himself as he could with other kids. Even the older boys in our neighbourhood wanted to play with Jack. It absolutely breaks my heart that I will not be able to help him grow into a man. I love you to, Jack. I miss you both so much.

My identity was taken from me, as result of this process. When it began, I was a commercial real estate broker with CB Richard Ellis. I lived by the Golden rule and made a living by bringing parties together and finding the common ground. My reputation as a broker was built on my honesty and integrity. When it ended, I was broke, homeless, unemployed and had no visitation with my own children.

I had no confidence and was paralyzed with fear that I would be going to jail whenever my ex-wife wanted. Nothing I could say or do would stop it. This is what being to death or 'targeted' by a psychopath looks like. This is the outcome. I didn't somehow change into a 'high-conflict' person or lose my ability to steer clear of the law. I've had never been arrested, depressed, homeless or suicidal before this process. The stress and pressure applied to me was deliberate and nothing I could do or say would get me any relief. Nothing I or my attorneys said to my ex-wife's attorney or to the Court made any difference. Truth, facts, evidence or even the best interest of my children had no affect on the outcome.

The family court system is broken, but from my experience, it is not the laws, its the lawyers. They feed off of the conflict. They are not hired to reduce conflict or protect the best interest of children, which is why third parties need to be involved. It should be mandatory for children to have a guardian ad litem, with extensive training in abuse and aggression.

It is absolutely shameful that the Fairfax County Court did nothing to intervene or understand the ongoing conflict. Judge Randy Bellows also used the Children as punishment, by withholding access for failing to fax a receipt. The entire conflict centered around the denial of access to the children, it was inconceivable to me that he would use children like this. This is exactly what my ex-wife was doing and now Judge Bellows was doing it for her.

To all my family, friends and the people that supported me through this process, I am so sorry. I know my reactions and behavior throughout this process did not always make sense. None of this made sense to me either. I had no help and the only suggestion I got from my attorneys was to remain silent.

At first, I did what I was told, remained silent and listened to my attorneys. Then after I had given my ex-wife full custody to try and appease her, I learned about Psychopathy and emailed Dr. Samenow about my concerns and asked him for help. Of course, I was ignored. As the conflict continued, I was forced to defend myself. When that didn't work, I thought I could get the help I needed by speaking out. There is no right or wrong way to defend yourself from abuse. Naively, I thought that abuse was abuse and it would be recognized and something would be done. I thought speaking out would end the abuse or at least get them to back off. It didn't. When no one did anything they were emboldened.

I took my own life because I had come to the conclusion that there was nothing I could do or say to end the abuse. Every time I got up off my knees, I would get knocked back down. They were not going to let me be the father I wanted to be to my children. People may think I am a coward for giving up on my children, but I didn't see how I was going to heal from this. I have no money for an attorney, therapy or medication. I have lost four jobs because of this process. I was going to be at their mercy for the rest of my life and they had shown me none.

Being alienated, legally abused, emotionally abused, isolated and financially ruined are all a recipe for suicide. I wish I were stronger to keep going, but the emotional pain and fear of going to court and jail [because of exorbitant child support] became overwhelming. I became paralyzed with fear. I couldn't flee and I could not fight. I was never going to be allowed to heal or recover. I wish I were better at articulating the psychological and emotional trauma I experienced.

I could fill a book with all the lies and mysterious rulings of the Court. Never have I experienced this kind of pain. I asked for help, but good men did nothing and evil prevailed. All I wanted was a Guardian Ad Litem for my children. Any third party would have been easily been able to confirm or refute all of my allegations, which is why none was ever appointed to protect the children or reduce the conflict.

Abuse is about power and control. Stand up for the abused and speak out. If someone speaks out about abuse, believe them.

Please teach my children empathy and about emotional invalidation and 'gas-lighting' or they may end up like me.

God have mercy on my soul.

Chris Mackney

[Marsh.]

That's not very relevant.

[Kizzy]

Originally Posted by Marsh.

I've not said anything of the sort.

I'm questioning why the rights of the father is being brought up when there are just as many cases of the father abandoning the family.

As I was originally saying a "change in the family unit" can happen a dozen different ways.

No you didn't sorry, and of course you're right there's just as many go awol as want to be involved.
She is obviously very affected by abandonment/loss and her family failed due to being her enablers. There's no one thing that's to blame.

[Marsh.]

Originally Posted by Kizzy

No you didn't sorry, and of course you're right there's just as many go awol as want to be involved.
She is obviously very affected by abandonment/loss and her family failed due to being her enablers. There's no one thing that's to blame.

That's it. So many factors involved it's really quite sad.

[the truth]

Originally Posted by Marsh.

That's not very relevant.

wow nice way to describe the suicide of a heartbroken father, shameful


In one neighbourhood in the Riverside ward of Liverpool, there is no father present in 65 per cent of households with dependent children. Liverpool has eight out of the country’s top 20 areas with the highest levels of fatherless households.
There are 236 LSOAs in England and Wales where more than 50 per cent of households with dependent children are headed by a lone mother.
An area in the Manor Castle ward of Sheffield tops the lone parent league table - among households with dependent children, 75 per cent are headed by a lone parent (most commonly a woman). Second comes the same Riverside neighbourhood in Liverpool (71 per cent). Five Liverpool neighbourhoods are in the top 20 nationally for lone parent households.
Mr Guy adds: “For children growing up in some of the poorest parts of the country, men are rarely encountered in the home or in the classroom. This is an ignored form of deprivation that can have profoundly damaging consequences on social and mental development.
“There are ‘men deserts’ in many parts of our towns and cities and we urgently need to wake up to what is going wrong.”
The CSJ report recalls David Cameron’s election pledge to lead the “most family-
friendly Government ever”. Yet, in power, the family stability agenda “has barely been mentioned”. Comprehensive action to tackle existing policy barriers to family stability “has been almost entirely absent”, it adds.
The report also highlights the cost to the taxpayer of soaring rates of family breakdown. The total cost is estimated at £46 billion a year or £1541 for every taxpayer in the country. This figure has risen by nearly a quarter in the last four years and on current trends, the cost of family breakdown is projected to hit £49 billion by the end of this Parliament.
The CSJ report condemns the lack of Government action to stem the epidemic of family breakdown. For every £6,000 spent on picking up the pieces after a split, just £1 is spent on helping to keep families together.
The research also finds that it is the instability of cohabiting couples rather than a surge in divorce rates that is fuelling the disintegration of the UK family. Since 1996, the number of people cohabiting has doubled to nearly 6 million.
Cohabiting parents are three times more likely to separate by the time a child is aged five than married couples, the report states.
The high break-up rates among cohabiting couples are driving up the numbers of lone parents. These increased by almost a quarter between 1996 and 2012 and now account for nearly two million adults, mostly women. One quarter of all families with dependent children are now headed by a lone parent as Britain experiences one of the highest rates of family breakdown in the developed world.
The report also highlights how family breakdown is causing additional strain on housing markets; both in social housing – where availability is already stretched – and private housing.
On the Government’s troubled families scheme, the report criticises the deadline of 2015 as arbitrary and calls for a longer term cross-party commitment to be reached on helping these families. It also states that the process for identifying families has been poor and a CSJ FoI request revealed that less than 16.5 per cent of all the families identified so far meet all three of the set criteria of youth crime or anti-social behaviour, truanting, and an adult on out-of-work benefits.

country’s top 20 areas with the highest levels of fatherless households.
There are 236 LSOAs in England and Wales where more than 50 per cent of households with dependent children are headed by a lone mother.
An area in the Manor Castle ward of Sheffield tops the lone parent league table - among households with dependent children, 75 per cent are headed by a lone parent (most commonly a woman). Second comes the same Riverside neighbourhood in Liverpool (71 per cent). Five Liverpool neighbourhoods are in the top 20 nationally for lone parent households.
Mr Guy adds: “For children growing up in some of the poorest parts of the country, men are rarely encountered in the home or in the classroom. This is an ignored form of deprivation that can have profoundly damaging consequences on social and mental development.
“There are ‘men deserts’ in many parts of our towns and cities and we urgently need to wake up to what is going wrong.”
The CSJ report recalls David Cameron’s election pledge to lead the “most family-
friendly Government ever”. Yet, in power, the family stability agenda “has barely been mentioned”. Comprehensive action to tackle existing policy barriers to family stability “has been almost entirely absent”, it adds.
The report also highlights the cost to the taxpayer of soaring rates of family breakdown. The total cost is estimated at £46 billion a year or £1541 for every taxpayer in the country. This figure has risen by nearly a quarter in the last four years and on current trends, the cost of family breakdown is projected to hit £49 billion by the end of this Parliament.
The CSJ report condemns the lack of Government action to stem the epidemic of family breakdown. For every £6,000 spent on picking up the pieces after a split, just £1 is spent on helping to keep families together.
The research also finds that it is the instability of cohabiting couples rather than a surge in divorce rates that is fuelling the disintegration of the UK family. Since 1996, the number of people cohabiting has doubled to nearly 6 million.
Cohabiting parents are three times more likely to separate by the time a child is aged five than married couples, the report states.
The high break-up rates among cohabiting couples are driving up the numbers of lone parents. These increased by almost a quarter between 1996 and 2012 and now account for nearly two million adults, mostly women. One quarter of all families with dependent children are now headed by a lone parent as Britain experiences one of the highest rates of family breakdown in the developed world.
The report also highlights how family breakdown is causing additional strain on housing markets; both in social housing – where availability is already stretched – and private housing.
On the Government’s troubled families scheme, the report criticises the deadline of 2015 as arbitrary and calls for a longer term cross-party commitment to be reached on helping these families. It also states that the process for identifying families has been poor and a CSJ FoI request revealed that less than 16.5 per cent of all the families identified so far meet all three of the set criteria of youth crime or anti-social behaviour, truanting, and an adult on out-of-work benefits.
Lone Parents
2011 lower layer super output area (LSOA)
Ward
% of households with dependent children headed by single parent
Sheffield 075G
Manor Castle
75%
Liverpool 050J
Riverside
71%
Birmingham 138C
Ladywood
70%
Wirral 011C
Bidston and St James
70%
Bristol 054B
Lawrence Hill
67%
Liverpool 038C
Wavertree
66%
Knowsley 008B
Stockbridge
65%
Gosport 008G
Town
65%
Liverpool 022D
Kirkdale
64%
Liverpool 012C
County
64%
Knowsley 006B
Stockbridge
63%
County Durham 025B
Easington
63%
Birmingham 121B
Brandwood
63%
Bristol 023G
Ashley
63%
Liverpool 012A
County
63%
Middlesbrough 004C
Pallister
62%
Wirral 008C
Seacombe
62%
Bath and North East Somerset 009C
Kingsmead
62%
Camden 024B
King's Cross
62%
Cardiff 013D
Trowbridge
62%
Single Mother households
2011 lower layer super output area (LSOA)
Ward
% of households with dependent children headed by single mother
Liverpool 050J
Riverside
65%
Birmingham 138C
Ladywood
63%
Wirral 011C
Bidston and St James
63%
Camden 024B
King's Cross
62%
Liverpool 038C
Wavertree
60%
Middlesbrough 004C
Pallister
60%
Cardiff 013D
Trowbridge
59%
Liverpool 006C
Warbreck
59%
Liverpool 022D
Kirkdale
59%
Cardiff 039E
Ely
59%
Liverpool 014A
Kirkdale
58%
Birmingham 022B
Kingstanding
58%
Nottingham 005C
Bulwell
58%
Wirral 011D
Bidston and St James
58%
Gosport 008G
Town
58%
Liverpool 024C
Everton
58%
Knowsley 006B
Stockbridge
58%
Liverpool 012A
County
58%
Knowsley 008B
Stockbridge
57%
Liverpool


have a read of this http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/ar...ndals-age.html

and the many heartbreaking replies


or this The final report from the Norgrove Review published today fails to address the bias in the family law system against fathers and grandparents and will fuel the epidemic of fatherlessness in the UK.

In the wake of the riots, YouGov polling for the Centre for Social Justice showed three quarters of the British public think fatherlessness is a serious problem, made worse by a law that puts the rights of the mother over those of a child to have meaningful contact with both parents.

Norgrove has missed a golden opportunity to acknowledge the importance of fathers and the extended family when parents split and correct the mistake in the Children’s Act 1989.

Urgent changes are required in this legislation to reflect the vital role non-resident parents play, usually fathers, for their child's wellbeing.

As the CSJ said in its family law review, Every Family Matters (2009) “...legislation should acknowledge that children are most likely to benefit from the „substantial involvement‟ of both parents in their lives.”

Norgrove also fails to address the unnecessarily costly and cumbersome legislation which prevents all but the wealthiest grandparents from seeing their grandchildren.

The Interim Report from David Norgrove’s Review of Family Law proposed enshrining in law the principle (not presumption) that children benefit from each parent having a meaningful involvement in their lives, but his final report has dropped this proposal.

The CSJ has long championed the rights of children to have contact with non-resident parents and grandparents. Its work with the poorest communities - and the summer’s rioting - shows time and again how fatherlessness is implicated in youth crime, educational failure, addictions and worklessness.

CSJ Executive Director Gavin Poole said: “Norgrove’s refusal to acknowledge the importance of fathers and recommend a change to the law ignores the vast majority of public opinion and evidence about the devastating effect absent dads has on children.

“We urge the Government to take the lead themselves in enshrining in law the importance that fathers and grandparents play in a child’s upbringing and update the Children’s Act in this highly significant way.”

[Marsh.]

Originally Posted by the truth

wow nice way to describe the suicide of a heartbroken father, shameful

Uh, way to twist what I said.