[Liam-]

Originally Posted by Jessica.

Oh, I have only seen one episode of catfish, does it really give proper insight sometimes?

A lot of the time yeah, the people who host it sit down and talk to the people doing the catfishing and find out why and everything, it's quite sad to see the struggles some people go through mentally that lead them to do it

[Jessica.]

Originally Posted by Liam-

A lot of the time yeah, the people who host it sit down and talk to the people doing the catfishing and find out why and everything, it's quite sad to see the struggles some people go through mentally that lead them to do it

Oh I see. That is depressing.

[Daniel.]

It wouldn't bother me if one of my online friends was a gender faker I would laugh

[Jay.]

i have been catfished before and just laughed it off

like oh you're keith, 53 from devon, nice where is beatrice, 18 from france

[Ammi]

Originally Posted by Liam-

Insecurities, trust issues, wanting to be someone else rather than themselves, watching Catfish really helped understand that sort of thing

Originally Posted by Dollface

I was going to say this myself it really helps watching shows like that to understand why people do things like that
some of them don't seem remorseful at all, where as others look ashamed by lying etc. so i guess it varies

..yeah, this for me as well with Catfish, the show...I think it's too 'surface' and obvious to say it's insecurities and unhappiness because there are probably many reasons for people to do it...with some on Catfish, it's just simply to 'project negative' in a way that they can't do in real life but it's so easy and 'unaccountable' to do on the internet...and then with others, just a lot of sadness really an maybe a 'fantasy' of what they would like their lives to be..?...I recall one really emotional story...the young girl had sent pics or posted pics...she was incredibly beautiful ..anyways the 'story' was, that it was in fact her in the pics but it was her of a few years ago and she'd had an awful car accident which had changed her life and also changed her physical appearance as she'd been more or less house-bound for several years...put on weight etc and had lost an eye..she didn't go anywhere, partly because of the changes in her physical appearance which she felt self conscious about and also obviously because she's lost all confidence...she'd also had a boyfriend at the time of the accident and they didn't stay together...anyways, I guess who she was on the internet was truthful really..it was her, it was just the her that she wished with all of her heart she could go back to..../really, really sad....

[Ammi]

..the flipside of that though can be something like 'predators' though which is something obviously my job covers a lot.../..but that's an extreme of it.../online deception...

[AnnieK]

I think in some occasions for people it's escapism. Behind their keyboard they can be who they want to be, have the life they want etc as they are so unhappy. It's sad to think people are so unhappy that a fantasy life is preferable but it can give them some momentary escape and happiness which as long as they don't hurt anyone, or try to hurt anyone isn't too much of a big deal to me. When it comes to online dating or arranging meet ups it becomes a different story. Obviously the pedophiles who do it for grooming purposes are not included in my thoughts.

[kirklancaster]

[QUOTE=Mokka;8194090]

Originally Posted by Marsh.

Yeah, it's easy to pretend anything.

I could pretend I'm living it up in Portugal with my hot boyfriend in a fancy apartment but really I'm locked in a bedroom 23 hours a day whilst my scally husband is selling drugs. [/QUOTE ]



Why do I feel this second story is true to your real life one Marsh??

And poor Marsh not yet back for even a day.

[Jamie89]

Originally Posted by Jessica.

I'm not trying to shade people with this thread, I am just trying to understand.

In the past many people on TiBB have been revealed as liars, after making friends and earning the trust of others. I don't want this thread to be about them though. I am just wondering why people invent lives and even act as a different gender online. I don't see any appeal in it but it happens a lot, not just on TiBB, but in most online communities that I've been part of. I know the main one is probably not fitting in, in real life, but that can't be the only reason, right? Can it be fun even?

Living some kind of fantasy maybe? I don't understand why someone would lie about something like their gender though because whats the point, unless it's a dating website and it's some kind of sexual thrill, but on a BB forum??

But what I really want to know is, what shade? I want to know the stories of who lied about what and how they got caught! Give us who haven't been around that long the goss!

[Gstar]

Originally Posted by Liam-

Insecurities, trust issues, wanting to be someone else rather than themselves, watching Catfish really helped understand that sort of thing

This. Although I've never understood how someone can lie about their gender

[Cherie]

Some get a kick out of it I guess and some do it for nefarious reasons as above.

[kirklancaster]

I agree with most of what's been said already, but there is a flip side to this - and that is NOT telling the truth on forums such as this, or to be more precise, desisting from contributing to certain threads because of the probability of NOT being believed.

A few examples:

It is hard for the average 16 to 20 year old now to correlate to life as a 16 to 20 year old back in the 60's, and posts from old gits like me will seem to a lot on here as lies, or fantasy.

I do not know how much the average ticket costs now to watch your favourite singer/band in concert, but back in my day I could and did watch the top 10 big groups live for less than the equivalent of 20p.

The Who, The Move, The Searchers, etc etc. the list is endless, and what is more, the venue then was smaller, more intimate than those now, and mingling with the 'Stars' was nothing special - most of whom were not much older than us kids anyway.

I playfully chased Keith Moon (Looney Moony - a genuine nutter, bless him) the drummer with the Who across the lanes of a bowling alley in the early hours after a show, because he tried to write his name in indelible ink pen across my shirt. A group of us were drinking and talking with them for an hour or so. What are the odds of that now?

In the early 70's at another venue - a nightclub with casino - where big stars appeared, I was sitting with friends at a front of stage table (very civilised those old 'Supper Clubs' in the early 70's) and the star of the show - an American girl who at the time topped the charts - pleased me by leaning over singing to those at the front. I say pleased because she had great breasts and they were in danger from falling out of her dress when she did lean over (which I found out later was the whole point).

After her act, as I was going to the loo, she PULLED ME! and a crazy few months of dating ensued where I went everywhere with her during her UK tour. She even wanted me to go back to the USA with her, but the relationship ended when she returned home and I stayed here. (Ok I was a 'Groupie' )

After hours at the Batley Variety Club/The Frontier, I have drank and spent hours in the company of The Real Thing and Village People to name a few. I actually ended up quite good friends with Ray from the Real Thing, and I could fill pages with similar escapades - all true - but desist for the same reasons as I now desist from posting my own true direct experiences with SOME immigrants, SOME Benefit Cheats, SOME rogue tenants etc etc on Serious Debates, because when I have, I have been mocked and called a liar -- even though every word was true.

People with relatively 'sheltered' routine lives will not have the same life experiences as some others, and someone aged 20 will not have the same life experiences of someone three times their age, but it does not naturally ensue that because of this that 'someone' is exaggerating or lying.

So I wonder - Paedo's, Catfish and some personal direct experiences apart - if there ARE some cases where internet acquaintences are suspected of being fantasists when, in fact, they are not?

I ought to add, that I worry for young people on here and on facebook and other internet places, at the sheer amount of highly personal information that they freely publish when the world is such an increasingly dangerous place now, with terrorists, perverts, burglars etc etc, all having access to that information.

I am outspoken in my detestation of terrorists - among other things - and with security in mind, I always try to ensure that I do not give out too many clues which would help them should they wish to meet me one dark night. I already receive very regular 'Notices' from my security prog that 'Attempts to access my pc have been blocked' and the fact that the greater number of these are from Syria, The Lebanon and Pakistan, does not make me want to start broadcasting my exact location etc.

[smudgie]

Perhaps they are bored and playing a game..could be as simple as that.
Maybe they think their real life wouldn't be found interesting enough to those that read the posts
I take everything I read at face value..I can never tell if people are kidding never mind telling porkies.

[DemolitionRed]

Originally Posted by AnnieK

I think in some occasions for people it's escapism. Behind their keyboard they can be who they want to be, have the life they want etc as they are so unhappy. It's sad to think people are so unhappy that a fantasy life is preferable but it can give them some momentary escape and happiness which as long as they don't hurt anyone, or try to hurt anyone isn't too much of a big deal to me. When it comes to online dating or arranging meet ups it becomes a different story. Obviously the pedophiles who do it for grooming purposes are not included in my thoughts.

^This

People can be anyone they want to be on anonymous sites like this and that doesn't really bother me because its a general chat forum. I'm much more interested in discussion and peoples opinions than trying to work out if they are really female/male etcetera...The sex of a person on here is irrelevant, at least to me. Someone on here called me a 'he' yesterday. Did it bother me? I did, just for a moment wonder if that was a deliberate accusation but even if it was, it doesn't really matter. Many females are accused of being males online because someone gets suspicious.

If people want to talk about their personal life to an anonymous forum, its better to take what they say with a large pinch of salt.

Dating sites are different and as has already been stated in this thread, there are plenty of catfish on the prowl. I'm not embarrassed to admit that my husband and me met on a dating site. He's the only guy I've ever met online but he'd met a few women prior to me and he did, at one point, invest far too much time chasing after a catfish.

People lie because they can. Online we can all be young and beautiful forever but people who do that are not only deceiving others, they are deceiving themselves. When they do this on potential dating sites and coerce someone into believing a relationship could develop, they are behaving like predators with no thought for the other persons emotional hurt.

I think everyone who goes online looking for a hook up should watch 'Catfish'

[Mystic Mock]

I don't get it personally, small details I can understand, but something as big as age or gender should not be lied about imo.

I'm not really the type to fall out with people over it though, just disagree with them on it.

[Ashley.]

Originally Posted by Mystic Mock

I don't get it personally, small details I can understand, but something as big as age or gender should not be lied about imo.

I'm not really the type to fall out with people over it though, just disagree with them on it.

I agree and I hated it when people said I was lying that I was female just because I hadn't mentioned it before.

[Glenn.]

I find it extremely irritating when people lie in real life, like there is no need for it. One of the great things about the internet (this forum for example) is that people can be as open and honest even more so than in real life. I've shared snapshots from every aspect of my life on here, and it's stuff I wouldn't dream of sharing with my family or friends. It's very easy to talk to 'strangers' online just as it is in real life. Online strangers become friends and using past happenings on here, people have had their friendships ruined by lies and deceit and there's no real point to it.

[Tom4784]

I see no point in lying online but I can understand why people do. I don't really care if someone is lying to me about their life on Tibb, I'm not bothered if someone is a man or a woman just as long as their personality is true to who they are. I do have sympathy for the people who feel the need to lie though, aside from the pathologicals that do it for the thrill, I think people tend to lie for sympathetic reasons, whether it's insecurities or simply wanting a better life.

[Niamh.]

Originally Posted by Dezzy

I see no point in lying online but I can understand why people do. I don't really care if someone is lying to me about their life on Tibb, I'm not bothered if someone is a man or a woman just as long as their personality is true to who they are. I do have sympathy for the people who feel the need to lie though, aside from the pathologicals that do it for the thrill, I think people tend to lie for sympathetic reasons, whether it's insecurities or simply wanting a better life.

I guess it can just make people a bit wary about what their intentions are if they are lying, that there's nothing more sinister about it