[Will.]

GARYS could be wiped out within a generation after it emerged there have been no children named Gary since 1992.

Once common across Britain, experts believe the country could be at ‘zero Gary’ by the year 2050.

Tom Logan, a Gary campaigner, said: “Thirty years ago our playgrounds were teeming with Garys. Simple, straightforward boys who just wanted to be radio DJs.

“But they have been driven out by Kyles, Noahs, Jordans and Masons. Foreign sounding names for suspicious, unreliable children.”

Logan, who tours maternity hospitals promoting the name Gary, said: “We’ve already lost Alan, the last Ken is living in a shed in Farnborough and the Lees that were once at every party claiming they knew martial arts are increasingly rare.

“Please, name your baby Gary. He’ll grow into it.”

[Crimson Dynamo]

[Jordan.]

“But they have been driven out by Kyles, Noahs, Jordans and Masons. Foreign sounding names for suspicious, unreliable children.”

[Ross.]

Originally Posted by Will.

“Please, name your baby Gary.

[Jamie89]

In other shocking news, all the current Gary's are being culled at age 58 a la Logans Run

[Jamie89]

He's even called 'Logan'

Originally Posted by Will.

Logan, who tours maternity hospitals promoting the name Gary,

He has far too much free time tbh

[Smithy]

The U.K. Life expectancy is 58 now?

[Greg!]

There is literally someone called Gary in my maths so this story is trash

[Samm]

Tom Logan, a Gary campaigner

[Crimson Dynamo]

Originally Posted by Smithy

The U.K. Life expectancy is 58 now?

Its much lower in Glasgow

[Firewire]

This is false

I went to school with a Gary

[Babayaro.]

Baby Gary, straight out the womb and becomes a bald taxi driver, with a Hibs tattoo on his left arse cheek

[Greg!]

Originally Posted by Babayaro.

Baby Gary, straight out the womb and becomes a bald taxi driver, with a Hibs tattoo on his left arse cheek

Lmao I thought of that tweet as soon as I saw the title

[T*]

Originally Posted by Greg!

Lmao I thought of that tweet as soon as I saw the title

Exposè!!!

[Kizzy]

I have a nephew called Lee who knows martial arts

[Babayaro.]

Originally Posted by Greg!

Lmao I thought of that tweet as soon as I saw the title

Scottish Twitter is the best

[LemonJam]

I keep reading this as "No Gays left in Britain"

[EspeonBB]

Originally Posted by LemonJam

I keep reading this as "No Gays left in Britain"

This is what I first saw too

[Crimson Dynamo]

Originally Posted by LemonJam

I keep reading this as "No Gays left in Britain"

I keep reading that too

Spoiler:

only joking, i hope its 2055

Spoiler:

Spoiler:

[Smithy]

A mess @ the site this is from http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/s...-2015030696029

[billy123]

The story next to it is better

Wenger quits to become tortoise


ARSENAL manager Arsene Wenger has given up football in order to become a tortoise, it has emerged.

The Frenchman made the announcement in an airing cupboard at the Gunners’ London Colney training ground: “Football is too much hurly burly and the weather does not suit me. I have long called for a winter break.

“Now I am going to have one, in a nice box filled with fresh straw. Over time I will grow a shell and my hands will become paw-like scaly things with little claws.

“Please remember to leave me water and food in case I wake up early. We don’t want a repeat of that horrible business with Frida off of Blue Peter.”

Frenchman has become increasingly slow-moving in recent years, and more prone to falling asleep under heat lamps and trying to mount lumps of tree bark.

The last football manager who quit and become a tortoise was former Aston Villa boss Ron Saunders in 1987. However Saunders was unavailable for comment due to being in the middle of having his name painted on his shell.

http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/sport/...20160302106756

[bots]

Ha ha ha ... clearly a quality press outlet

[Mystic Mock]

But there will be a Gary still in Bikini Bottom by 2050 right?

[Ammi]

..the best Gary ever....

[Cherie]

Originally Posted by bobnot

The story next to it is better

Wenger quits to become tortoise


ARSENAL manager Arsene Wenger has given up football in order to become a tortoise, it has emerged.

The Frenchman made the announcement in an airing cupboard at the Gunners’ London Colney training ground: “Football is too much hurly burly and the weather does not suit me. I have long called for a winter break.

“Now I am going to have one, in a nice box filled with fresh straw. Over time I will grow a shell and my hands will become paw-like scaly things with little claws.

“Please remember to leave me water and food in case I wake up early. We don’t want a repeat of that horrible business with Frida off of Blue Peter.”

Frenchman has become increasingly slow-moving in recent years, and more prone to falling asleep under heat lamps and trying to mount lumps of tree bark.

The last football manager who quit and become a tortoise was former Aston Villa boss Ron Saunders in 1987. However Saunders was unavailable for comment due to being in the middle of having his name painted on his shell.

http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/sport/...20160302106756