[Niamh.]

Originally Posted by Vicky.

OMG Skye did this to me but slightly differently...she creeped into our room and started climbing up under the ****ing duvet from our feet. I woke up with a movement of the quilt, then saw a hulking lump moving towards me under the duvet then felt the icy cold hands of doom grab me. I have never been so terrified in my life. Still never found out why she saw fit to try and murder me

That sounds like one scene from The grudge (or the Ring I think it was the Grudge though) i was going to google to see if I could find a Gif of it but I'm too scared

[DemolitionRed]

Originally Posted by Niamh.

Definitely and it's an idea that needs to be stamped out, I don't want my son growing up thinking he can't talk about how he's feeling etc to go all corny "A problem shared, is a problem halved......

This brings me back to the conversation I had yesterday. Do we subconsciously teach our children to mask their vulnerabilities. I'll give you an example...

...When I was little, my parents really molly coddled me. They thought I was perfect, they told everyone I was perfect and of course, being perfect, quickly rubbed off on me!. The problem with that is, the outside world quickly taught me that I was anything but perfect and I spent my childhood not wanting my parents to know that. I worried about my looks, my figure, my academic struggles but I didn't want to share any of those worries with my parents because, deep in my subconscious I believed their expectations of me would be dashed.

Instead of letting our children believe that we think they are perfect, we need to let them know that as human beings, they can't be perfect because every human being is hard wired to struggle. We should be letting them know that they don't need to be perfect but they will always be worthy of love and belonging.

[jennyjuniper]

Originally Posted by DemolitionRed

This brings me back to the conversation I had yesterday. Do we subconsciously teach our children to mask their vulnerabilities. I'll give you an example...

...When I was little, my parents really molly coddled me. They thought I was perfect, they told everyone I was perfect and of course, being perfect, quickly rubbed off on me!. The problem with that is, the outside world quickly taught me that I was anything but perfect and I spent my childhood not wanting my parents to know that. I worried about my looks, my figure, my academic struggles but I didn't want to share any of those worries with my parents because, deep in my subconscious I believed their expectations of me would be dashed.

Instead of letting our children believe that we think they are perfect, we need to let them know that as human beings, they can't be perfect because every human being is hard wired to struggle. We should be letting them know that they don't need to be perfect but they will always be worthy of love and belonging.

That sounds good to me. When my daughter was little, her nana cared for her while I worked and although I loved Nana dearly, I used to get annoyed at her always letting my daughter win when it came to playing games. I told her she was setting her up for a big shock when she went to school and found out that other people wouldn't be willing to let her win all the time. I tried to balance it out by NOT letting her win when we played games at home.

[Kizzy]

I would say that today vulnerability is seen as weakness, look at the thread on trigger warnings... nothing is allowed to phase you. Got PTSD? Just face it and move on!

This coupled with the British 'stiff upper lip' no wonder addictions are on the rise, it's not healthy to suppress emotions, sooner or later like a shook up champagne bottle something has to give.
I would also agree that it begins in childhood, look at the change in the opinion on bullying in schools, if trauma and/or grief isn't resolved it will simply manifest.
You will then forever be vulnerable, as you just don't have the correct protective tools.

[Vicky.]

Originally Posted by Kizzy

I would say that today vulnerability is seen as weakness, look at the thread on trigger warnings... nothing is allowed to phase you. Got PTSD? Just face it and move on!

This coupled with the British 'stiff upper lip' no wonder addictions are on the rise, it's not healthy to suppress emotions, sooner or later like a shook up champagne bottle something has to give.
I would also agree that it begins in childhood, look at the change in the opinion on bullying in schools, if trauma and/or grief isn't resolved it will simply manifest.
You will then forever be vulnerable, as you just don't have the correct protective tools.

I don't think many in that thread are speaking about those with PTSD to be fair, more the ridiculous hoards of youngsters today who reckon they are 'triggered' by every little thing and that opening a milk carton should come with a trigger warning

[Kizzy]

Originally Posted by Vicky.

I don't think many in that thread are speaking about those with PTSD to be fair, more the ridiculous hoards of youngsters today who reckon they are 'triggered' by every little thing and that opening a milk carton should come with a trigger warning

The lecturer in the vid referred to PTSD sufferers, so if they have to just get on with it what about the rest of us?
Triggers are real, they may not be for those who aren't affected obviously.
But then they are usually the people mocking their usefulness.

[Vicky.]

Originally Posted by Kizzy

The lecturer in the vid referred to PTSD sufferers, so if they have to just get on with it what about the rest of us?
Triggers are real, they may not be for those who aren't affected obviously.
But then they are usually the people mocking their usefulness.

fair enough, I didn't watch the video as I have no sound on my computer so I will taker your word for it xD

I don't doubt triggers are real. But the majority of people who yell 'triggered' are just being idiots and/or looking for attention. I mean, take this as an example. I have a friend who is a trans woman. She was telling me a few weeks back about another trans woman (who incidentally, does not want any hormone therapy, surgery, anything, just to dress as a woman. So in other words..a crossdresser) who was having 'panic attacks' and crying because she had been to the toilet and a woman had asked her friend for a tampon as her period had came. Apparently the fact that a male cannot get periods is triggering these days. It ALWAYS seems to be stupid stuff like this.

[Niamh.]

Originally Posted by Vicky.

fair enough, I didn't watch the video as I have no sound on my computer so I will taker your word for it xD

I don't doubt triggers are real. But the majority of people who yell 'triggered' are just being idiots and/or looking for attention. I mean, take this as an example. I have a friend who is a trans woman. She was telling me a few weeks back about another trans woman (who incidentally, does not want any hormone therapy, surgery, anything, just to dress as a woman. So in other words..a crossdresser) who was having 'panic attacks' and crying because she had been to the toilet and a woman had asked her friend for a tampon as her period had came. Apparently the fact that a male cannot get periods is triggering these days. It ALWAYS seems to be stupid stuff like this.

Of all the things to get upset about that's the one they should be rejoicing over

[Vicky.]

Originally Posted by Niamh.

Of all the things to get upset about that's the one they should rejoicing over

Well...yes exactly

[Mystic Mock]

I can be emotional, but I'd never let it get me down and effect my decision making.

[Niamh.]

Originally Posted by Toy Soldier

Our eldest once came into the room in the middle of the night when we were alseep, shut the door behind her, so it was pitch dark... And completely silently put her freezing cold hand on my wife's arm. I swear I've never heard a scream like it . Woke up in the pitch dark, silent room with an ice cold hand grabbing her. Hahaha.

I saw this on FB and it reminded me of this post

[user104658]

Originally Posted by Niamh.

I saw this on FB and it reminded me of this post

But who even made that mask?? It's like a cross between a gorilla and Mike Myers.

(from Halloween obviously. Not the actor...)

[Beso]

strange one this.

through the years since i was about 12-40..i'm 46 now, i had loved and lost a great deal in my life leaving me heartbroken and i would feel guilty and upset about what io had and had lost for many many years.

I lost my son and dad within the space of 6 months three years ago and havn't really grieved yet. Yes i cried at the time but since then i have tried to block it all out, so i think or want to know if i am a bit emotionally vulnarable?

[Niamh.]

Originally Posted by parmnion

strange one this.

through the years since i was about 12-40..i'm 46 now, i had loved and lost a great deal in my life leaving me heartbroken and i would feel guilty and upset about what io had and had lost for many many years.

I lost my son and dad within the space of 6 months three years ago and havn't really grieved yet. Yes i cried at the time but since then i have tried to block it all out, so i think or want to know if i am a bit emotionally vulnarable?

Sounds like self preservation Parmnion, there's a difference between losing loves etc to losing a child and your dad as well at the same time (or close to) I couldn't even imagine pain like that, I'm really sorry for your losses, I remember you said something about it before