[DemolitionRed]

Did anyone see that programme about 'feral children' last night? I can't even tell you what channel it was on because we fell across it by accident.

In short, it was about creating a household where there are no rules. Children could opt out of school, go to bed at whatever time they liked and eat what they wanted when they wanted. Whatever they chose to do, their parents rejoiced in their child's choice.

What do you think and would you consider such a lifestyle for your children?

[Eddie.]

I think it's wrong to completely let the children make their own descisions. Though, I would allow them to make choices on certain things...

[Vicky.]

While I don't agree with completely structured lives for kids...I do think that kids should make some of their own decisions and deal with the consequences...I also think that kids do need some element of structure. Else they will just grow up to be selfish entitled little ****s. IMO anyway.

[lewis111]

I agree that they need a bit of both
Most rules are in place for their own good and safety anyway but you can't dictate they're life or they'll be unable to make choices for themselves or even prevent creativity when they grow up

[DemolitionRed]

I was raised by really strict parents and resented that all the way through my teens.
My husband was raised on a hippie commune in Spain and had very few rules. He resented that all the way through his teens.

Balance is everything.

[smudgie]

Nothing new in it, families have let their kids do what they like for two generations to my knowledge.
Most of it down to lazy parenting though and lack of education, kids ended up the same way.
I am all for a carrot and stick approach myself.

[Amy Jade]

Originally Posted by Vicky.

While I don't agree with completely structured lives for kids...I do think that kids should make some of their own decisions and deal with the consequences...I also think that kids do need some element of structure. Else they will just grow up to be selfish entitled little ****s. IMO anyway.

Most parents don't let their kids deal with the consequences tgough the bail them out.

[Vicky.]

Originally Posted by Amy Jade

Most parents don't let their kids deal with the consequences tgough the bail them out.

Then they are ****ty parents. If the kids reckon they are old enough to chose for themselves, they are old enough to deal with the fallout.

[Cal.]

Originally Posted by smudgie

Nothing new in it, families have let their kids do what they like for two generations to my knowledge.
Most of it down to lazy parenting though and lack of education, kids ended up the same way.
I am all for a carrot and stick approach myself.

I think on the most part the current adolescent generation are some of the most loving and respectful of their parents there's ever been, speaking as one myself. This is an odd post unless you're seeing different adolescents to me.

[Cherie]

Young children benefit from structure and routine, as they get older they should be allowed a bit more freedom, say around bed times and time they get home from friends (within reason!)

[Vicky.]

Originally Posted by Cherie

Young children benefit from structure and routine, as they get older they should be allowed a bit more freedom, say around bed times and time they get home from friends (within reason!)

Ahh this reminds me of an issue we had a few weeks back with gavins daughter. She just turned 13 and is in the 'I know everything' stage. She decided that she was now too old for a bedtime and that she should now be treat like an adult so we said fair enough, lets do it your way. So she stayed up til 2am on her bloody ipod thing. Alls fine. Next morning, we woke her up at 9 and she went MENTAL. Turned out she wanted to be treat as an adult only for bedtime...but the next day we should have let her sleep til 4pm. Nope nope nope. She now accepts that being an adult is not all its cracked up to be Though we do let her set her own bedtime as such now, she knows that if she goes later, she will be tired the next day. Consequences

[Oliver_W]

Children like the ones in the OP are being set up for a life on the dole tbh, the parents need to get a grip.

[Marsh.]

We see the results of this type of parenting in extremes. They end up sat in a crack den getting sanctioned from the dole office.

[Crimson Dynamo]

idiot parents breed idiot children. in the future we will sterilize and stop breeding for some. We need this now in India and Africa. Going forward the ability to breed with no education must be stopped. Yes its extreme but its the future, deal with it.

[Smithy]

Did my post get deleted

[Vicky.]

Originally Posted by Smithy

Did my post get deleted

There are (currently) no deleted posts in this thread. So..no

[Smithy]

Oh well, I saw the family on this morning on Wednesday, and the way the show is presented makes it sound like the kids just run riot, but it works really well for them, I don’t think it’s fair to judge everyone who does it the same, the kids were really well behaved, all had EC activities, all had career aspirations, the parents were doing a really good job, so it’s fair play to them tbh

[DemolitionRed]

I found the programme quite disturbing. Apparently, there are scores of these families up and down the country and they all compete with each other on internet forums.

One little girl was about five or six and had her nose pierced and died her hair purple. She didn't want to learn how to read and that was fine with her mum. Another child told her mum she wanted her hair cutting so her mum gave her some clippers and suggested she styled it how she wanted it. There was one family with a large number of kids from very young to a son of around 13. It was chaos and you could see the parents revelled in that chaos. At one point the dad said he should be getting to bed as he had work the next day but it was after midnight and there was no sign of the children wanting to go to bed yet

Interestingly, the older sons bedroom was very neat and orderly. When he was interviewed he said he liked order and he would like to go to school like other kids. His parents allowed it but his mum was crying and saying if he didn't like it, just say and he wouldn't have to go back.

One of the things that was noticeable was, these kids were not being taught any social skills. I found that troubling because Steve, even as a grown mature man, lacks social etiquette. I'm forever nudging him to say please and thank you when we are out. I remember when our children were quite young and we used to go round to his parents. If I reminded them to use their manners my mother-in-law would chip in with, "if they don't want to say thank you they don't have to"

[Ashley.]

The problem with parents choosing not to discipline their children is that they'll grow up thinking that rules don't apply to them. And in some cases, they'll believe that the law doesn't, either. When you become a parent, your child becomes your responsibility and should you abuse that, then they will face the consequences.

[smudgie]

Originally Posted by Cal.

I think on the most part the current adolescent generation are some of the most loving and respectful of their parents there's ever been, speaking as one myself. This is an odd post unless you're seeing different adolescents to me.

Yes I agree, where they have had a normal loving upbringing.
But the kids I knew who had no rules didn't quite make it well in life.

[AnnieK]

Parenting is hard, no one gives you a book on how to do it, you just have to find what works and usually you find you follow your own parents techhniques. My mum was strict but fair and my dad was a pushover. I think, im a mix of the two of them. Kids need boundaries and lots of explanations and not just rules. These parents seem irresponsible.

[Niamh.]

Originally Posted by AnnieK

Parenting is hard, no one gives you a book on how to do it, you just have to find what works and usually you find you follow your own parents techhniques. My mum was strict but fair and my dad was a pushover. I think, im a mix of the two of them. Kids need boundaries and lots of explanations and not just rules. These parents seem irresponsible.

The very last scene that little baby walking around with the big cake knife in his hand and the little girl jumping around rocks with heels on right in a cliff edge, my nerves

[Kizzy]

I did and it was eye opening, the large family were adorable in their completeness as a unit and it seemed to work in that instance, however the lady alone who had not managed to teach her son to read?... no that is not acceptable,and she has not done him any favours, mind you it is never too late to learn.

The only issues I had were with food choices and bedtimes which I feel are vital in health, growth and learning, some kids now are micromanaged to the nth degree and I don't feel that does them a service either. Finding that balance is the sweet spot and it's different for each child, which makes it all the more difficult.
As seen on the show the personalities of the siblings showed that some craved more structure than others, parenting is not a one size fits all.

[Cherie]

Originally Posted by Vicky.

Ahh this reminds me of an issue we had a few weeks back with gavins daughter. She just turned 13 and is in the 'I know everything' stage. She decided that she was now too old for a bedtime and that she should now be treat like an adult so we said fair enough, lets do it your way. So she stayed up til 2am on her bloody ipod thing. Alls fine. Next morning, we woke her up at 9 and she went MENTAL. Turned out she wanted to be treat as an adult only for bedtime...but the next day we should have let her sleep til 4pm. Nope nope nope. She now accepts that being an adult is not all its cracked up to be Though we do let her set her own bedtime as such now, she knows that if she goes later, she will be tired the next day. Consequences

Yeah I think its good to let them make their own decisions to a degree so they understand there are consequences

but as Kizzy says parenting isn't a one size fits all, kids will need different levels of structure

[waterhog]

with all the comments - glad I taped it and I will be watching with great interest - just got to find the time ?

going to be a late night tonight and we are going to loose a hour anyway ? or is that gain.