Quote:
Originally Posted by Mystic Mock
Not really, I can cover it up quite well I think, but if someone does say something offensive to me it will bother me for awhile.
I do like to not bring everybody around me down though so I will try to be in an uplifting mood if I can help it, although there are some offensive things that can break that shield.  |
That sounds exhausting for you, Mock. Especially with the responsibility and burden that comes with that sort of accountability. I used to have a similar reaction, but quickly got over when I realized the people I was attracting were total flakes and were happy to dump all the responsibility of the friendship on my end... there has to be a give and take with that I think, because when we are upset, we should be able to talk to our friends about it?a Though, I will say... I don't try not to say too much around people who I am already aware have some kind of sensitivity issue... I just listen and if there is a problem, I just speak with my actions. A more extreme example, I had a friend who used to be a magnet for drama (the self-created variety)... I knew what the calls were always for, was so I could sit and validate their cycle of negative thinking. So I stopped answering those calls and installed a bit of a barrier to force them to put in actual effort into our relationship rather than just have an answering service for constant venting... they weren't getting their quick fill-up, so they stopped making that minimal effort... it wasn't even personal, I actually rather liked them... but they didn't seem to value the relationship for anything but a quick dodge of their personal responsibilities. They also had some psych issues they were working through and I think rather than getting help, calling and leaving messages with everyone was an easy out for them to seek it... and I think it did them a favor to put up the sign so to speak, because they seemed to be at least acknowledging those anxiety problems, rather than getting wrapped up in all the other distractions surrounding it. And no, I could never tell them how I felt about their words or actions
... I would have to accept all responsibility for all the evil in the world that very same conversation. Kind of like how people on here get online if you say something directed... it can get misinterpreted or misrepresented very easily, especially textual conversations I think... that's why I don't really text with people, I prefer a phone call or meet in person.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Toy Soldier
With everyone other than my wife, impenetrably thick.
In arguments with my wife... Skin like wet tissue paper.  |
This is more or less what my husband has said multiple times (*stern look* "When it's
you".
He is used to getting abused on a daily basis and receiving death threats, though, so hard for him to really care about the more minor stuff...
I get some BS in my field too, but I think it's more the personal hazards. Because it's a creative field too, having a thick skin and taking criticism is an essential thought process to success, especially when it comes to work you put a lot of your own personal stuff into. I don't think I could do my job properly. otherwise... and I think it helps too being a woman in CS, I'm not really questioned about my capability level because of the way I manage those conversations without having existential crisis. I'd probably never get out of bed otherwise or I'd be like some of my peers... still in school years later and running up ludicrous student loan bills on account they don't trust their own skills so they dabble in several different programs... that does seem to happen to a lot of people, not just design students.
Rrr, was just reading something on this today actually... (anyway sorry for the brain fart here
)
More than half of millennials going through 'quarter-life crisis', research finds
https://www.independent.co.uk/life-s...-a8253036.html
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cal.
Wait I voted yeah cos I’m not really arsed but like if someone said something to me I wouldn’t take it i’d Kick off so does that mean I’m not?
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It depends, if you do what some others call "giving back what is given", then you might be acting a bit out of spite which could be insecurity or a similar defense
... if on the other hand, you're just naturally outspoken and blunt by nature in your exchanges with people, then it may just a tact issue. Like some people are just
loud about everything they think. It comes down to your personality and where your verbal references come from... I'm a very observation-based/intuitive-ish thinker, so I tend to have a long-form response to everything I see in the world and just happen to have a matching energy level. Though I tend to avoid conversations with people who are overly sensitive in general... just because I prefer to learn about them by observing more than interacting them, as their actions say more about their behavior than their words I think in several cases... also helps with building trust,=.
Anyway there's my armchair therapy...
Quote:
Originally Posted by LemonJam
Honestly a stranger could tell me I have a bit of coffee on my nose and I'll be sad about it for a year.
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Your stomach must seriously be in knots constantly if it's that intense. Hopefully you are doing something for it?...
Quote:
Originally Posted by jaxie
Sometimes. I am quite strong I think but I also think we all have our paranoid or insecure moments.
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Yes
That's pretty normal I think, jaxie. Just means we are human beings at the end of the day.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jordan.
Yes winning, sure tibb
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