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Old 08-07-2011, 08:33 PM #1
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Originally Posted by CharlieO View Post
What's slimy, cold, long, and smells like pork?
Spoiler:

Kermit the frogs finger
Charlie O!!!!


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Old 24-11-2011, 08:36 AM #2
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Originally Posted by CharlieO View Post
What's slimy, cold, long, and smells like pork?
Spoiler:

Kermit the frogs finger
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Old 08-07-2011, 08:38 PM #3
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What Pyra?
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Spoiler:


ME AND GOD WE DON'T GET ALONG, SO NOW I SING
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Old 08-07-2011, 08:46 PM #4
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What Pyra?
Dontcha play innocent wif me !!!


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Old 08-07-2011, 08:56 PM #5
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Dontcha play innocent wif me !!!


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Old 09-07-2011, 10:00 AM #6
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Default The Talking Clock Joker
The Talking Clock

While proudly showing off his new apartment to friends late one night, the drunk led the way to his bedroom, which contained a wall mounted brass gong.

"What's the brass gong for?" asked one of the guests.

"That's my talking clock" the drunk replied. "I'll show you how it works."

The drunk gave the gong a resounding whack with a hammer, and a loud irate voice from the other side of the wall shouted "FFS, IT'S 1 AM, YOU B*****D!!"

LMAO!
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Old 09-07-2011, 10:10 AM #7
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The Talking Clock

While proudly showing off his new apartment to friends late one night, the drunk led the way to his bedroom, which contained a wall mounted brass gong.

"What's the brass gong for?" asked one of the guests.

"That's my talking clock" the drunk replied. "I'll show you how it works."

The drunk gave the gong a resounding whack with a hammer, and a loud irate voice from the other side of the wall shouted "FFS, IT'S 1 AM, YOU B*****D!!"

LMAO!

*shakes head and groans*!!


This is worse...

I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
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Old 24-11-2011, 01:40 AM #8
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^^chuckle

" Tim Curry and Tim Rice should open an Indian takeaway. They could call it Tim's " leeeeeeehehehehehhehehehehehehhehe..hee
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Old 27-01-2012, 10:57 AM #9
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"A married man was being unfaithful to his wife, and giving another woman pleasure with his hands, but he lost his wedding ring. he tried putting a finger up to see if he could find it, but couldn'y, so he put in his whole hand, still no luck, so he tried deeper, until his whole arm disappeared, he still had no luck, and eventually he climbed all the way inside. when inside he saw another man, so he asked "have you seen my wedding ring", to which the man replied "nope, you seen my trac'or?"

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Old 28-01-2012, 06:26 PM #10
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The people of Dubai don't get to watch the Flinstones but the people of Abu Dhabi Do
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Old 09-07-2011, 12:35 PM #11
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I read Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows in just under two hours.

I know it's only 6 words, but all the same I felt proud of myself.
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Old 09-07-2011, 12:43 PM #12
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I read Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows in just under two hours.

I know it's only 6 words, but all the same I felt proud of myself.
Ah...very good!!!
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Old 09-07-2011, 12:55 PM #13
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Ah...very good!!!





I spent 3 hours last Sunday at the mother in law’s graveside.

Silly bugger thinks I'm digging a fish pond.




Mate from work just texted me asking what IDK means .
I replied ' I don't know'
He says ' Feck . Nobody I know knows what it is '
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Old 09-07-2011, 12:55 PM #14
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Ah...very good!!!





I spent 3 hours last Sunday at the mother in law’s graveside.

Silly bugger thinks I'm digging a fish pond.




Mate from work just texted me asking what IDK means .
I replied ' I don't know'
He says ' Feck . Nobody I know knows what it is '
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Old 09-07-2011, 01:27 PM #15
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Some people hear voices.. Some see invisible people.. Others have no imagination whatsoever.
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Old 09-07-2011, 01:49 PM #16
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This blind man goes into a drugstore and starts knocking stuff off the shelf with his cane.
The manager comes over and says, "Can I help you sir?" "No, I'm just looking."
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Old 09-07-2011, 09:29 PM #17
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A woman in her fifties is at home happily jumping unclothed on her bed, squealing with delight. Her husband watches her for a while and asks:



"Do you have any idea how ridiculous you look? What's the matter with you?"



The woman continues to bounce on the bed and says:



"I don't care. I just came back from having a mammogram and the doctor says that not only am I healthy, but I have the breasts of an 18-year-old."



The husband replies:



"What did he say about your 55-year-old arse?"



"Your name never came up," she replied
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Old 24-11-2011, 02:15 AM #18
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Was watching the womens golf earlier, they were sh*t at driving but were bloody good with the iron
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Old 24-11-2011, 07:13 AM #19
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At the risk of being disowned by the sisterhood, that was hilarious MTVN
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Old 24-11-2011, 08:42 AM #20
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Old Mr Jones went to his surgery for his annual health check. The practice nurse said to him, Mr Jones you have to stop masturbating.




Why, he said.






Because I'm trying to examine you she replied
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Old 24-11-2011, 11:28 AM #21
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Old Mr Jones went to his surgery for his annual health check. The practice nurse said to him, Mr Jones you have to stop masturbating.




Why, he said.






Because I'm trying to examine you she replied
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Old 24-11-2011, 11:29 AM #22
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How do you do that spoiler thing?
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Old 24-11-2011, 11:41 AM #23
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How do you do that spoiler thing?
[spoiler] your text here [/spoiler ]

Without the space.
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Old 24-11-2011, 11:43 AM #24
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Cheers Josie.
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Old 24-11-2011, 11:44 AM #25
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What bounces and makes kids cry?

Spoiler:

My donation cheque to Children in Need.
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