[kistar]

i am so not a Deana fan no way.

[InOne]

He's in his 30's. He should stop being so childish.

[kistar]

Originally Posted by InOne

He's in his 30's. He should stop being so childish.

That's exactly what I think.

[Tom4784]

At least she's up front about being awful, he tries too hard to come across as a decent human being.

[MTVN]

Originally Posted by Dezzy

At least she's up front about being awful, he tries too hard to come across as a decent human being.

I'm starting to agree with this really, I don't mind him but he's desperate to present himself as a really nice, genuine guy contrasted with the terrible human beings of the Insiders

[kistar]

Originally Posted by MTVN

I'm starting to agree with this really, I don't mind him but he's desperate to present himself as a really nice, genuine guy contrasted with the terrible human beings of the Insiders

And he is doing the things he said he hated about the insiders he is a hypocrite .

[kistar]

Set an example show Caroline how he thought she should have acted, rather than do exactly the same thing puts him in the same category, if he is not careful he will become the new villain.

[Patricia4]

Luke A is a wicked human being.

[Niamh.]

People deserve to be treated the way they treat others, only way they'll learn imo

[chuff me dizzy]

Originally Posted by Niamh.

People deserve to be treated the way they treat others, only way they'll learn imo

I think this is lacking in Carolines life, clearly been spoilt to the extreme,maybe by parents who have dumped her off in boarding school and made her someone elses problem

[kistar]

Originally Posted by Niamh.

People deserve to be treated the way they treat others, only way they'll learn imo

I personally think you should treat others how you want to be treated your self, live by example it's the only way to make a difference, tit for tat is ridiculous and things never get resolved, in a personal war like they are having one party needs to move things forward by changing how they are , understanding the bigger picture and knowing that's how to get resolution. Luke A is 31 he should be doing that.

[chuff me dizzy]

Originally Posted by kistar

I personally think you should treat others how you want to be treated your self, live by example it's the only way to make a difference, tit for tat is ridiculous and things never get resolved, in a personal war like they are having one party needs to move things forward by changing how they are , understanding the bigger picture and knowing that's how to get resolution. Luke A is 31 he should be doing that.

So because Luke is 31 he should take **** from a teenage brat ? i dont think so

[Tom4784]

Originally Posted by chuff me dizzy

So because Luke is 31 he should take **** from a teenage brat ? i dont think so

He should be old enough to know to rise above it.

[chuff me dizzy]

Originally Posted by Dezzy

He should be old enough to know to rise above it.

No way should he take it,no matter what his age

[Niamh.]

Originally Posted by Dezzy

He should be old enough to know to rise above it.

The minute you hit your 30's you should become a doormat? I don't think so.

[Niamh.]

Originally Posted by chuff me dizzy

I think this is lacking in Carolines life, clearly been spoilt to the extreme,maybe by parents who have dumped her off in boarding school and made her someone elses problem

That seems pretty likely Chuff.

Originally Posted by kistar

I personally think you should treat others how you want to be treated your self, live by example it's the only way to make a difference, tit for tat is ridiculous and things never get resolved, in a personal war like they are having one party needs to move things forward by changing how they are , understanding the bigger picture and knowing that's how to get resolution. Luke A is 31 he should be doing that.

I disagree, in my own personal experience I've found if you let people get away with bad behaviour they'll keep on walking all over you, if you stand up for yourself and give back what you're getting from them, they tend to not treat you badly in future. It doesn't change them in general but it does make them treat you personally different because they know you won't be treated that way easily. I don't think people like Caroline learn from others being nice, that just makes them push boundaries even further.

What you're saying should be the way to change peoples perspectives but sadly it just doesn't work on most people.

[Kate!]

Originally Posted by Niamh.

That seems pretty likely Chuff.



I disagree, in my own personal experience I've found if you let people get away with bad behaviour they'll keep on walking all over you, if you stand up for yourself and give back what you're getting from them, they tend to not treat you badly in future. It doesn't change them in general but it does make them treat you personally different because they know you won't be treated that way easily. I don't think people like Caroline learn from others being nice, that just makes them push boundaries even further.

What you're saying should be the way to change peoples perspectives but sadly it just doesn't work on most people.

this is SO TRUE. It is as much to do with how a person reacts as to how a situation will progress. It's sometimes hard to stand up to very dominant people, but it's better for people to do it straight off the bat, than try to do so later on, if possible.

[chuff me dizzy]

Originally Posted by Niamh.

That seems pretty likely Chuff.



I disagree, in my own personal experience I've found if you let people get away with bad behaviour they'll keep on walking all over you, if you stand up for yourself and give back what you're getting from them, they tend to not treat you badly in future. It doesn't change them in general but it does make them treat you personally different because they know you won't be treated that way easily. I don't think people like Caroline learn from others being nice, that just makes them push boundaries even further.

What you're saying should be the way to change peoples perspectives but sadly it just doesn't work on most people.

True ,for months when i was in junior school this minger used to stand and wait for me at school gates to scrag me all over playground with my hair, I was **** scared of her and didnt tell my Mam,but someone else did, she went nuts, she said tomorrow you hit her back or you will get it forever, all the way up the hill next morning i was shaking like a ****ting dog, but there she was ,stood waiting ,and before she got chance to grab my hair I twatted her a beauty, she never did it again !!

[Vicky.]

Originally Posted by Niamh.

I disagree, in my own personal experience I've found if you let people get away with bad behaviour they'll keep on walking all over you, if you stand up for yourself and give back what you're getting from them, they tend to not treat you badly in future. It doesn't change them in general but it does make them treat you personally different because they know you won't be treated that way easily. I don't think people like Caroline learn from others being nice, that just makes them push boundaries even further.

What you're saying should be the way to change peoples perspectives but sadly it just doesn't work on most people.

Indeed.

Petty as it may be, Im all for tit for tat. Rather that than be a doormat

[Gillian-73]

Originally Posted by Niamh.

That seems pretty likely Chuff.



I disagree, in my own personal experience I've found if you let people get away with bad behaviour they'll keep on walking all over you, if you stand up for yourself and give back what you're getting from them, they tend to not treat you badly in future. It doesn't change them in general but it does make them treat you personally different because they know you won't be treated that way easily. I don't think people like Caroline learn from others being nice, that just makes them push boundaries even further.

What you're saying should be the way to change peoples perspectives but sadly it just doesn't work on most people.

Well said. Brilliant
post, i totally agree!

[kistar]

Originally Posted by Niamh.

That seems pretty likely Chuff.



I disagree, in my own personal experience I've found if you let people get away with bad behaviour they'll keep on walking all over you, if you stand up for yourself and give back what you're getting from them, they tend to not treat you badly in future. It doesn't change them in general but it does make them treat you personally different because they know you won't be treated that way easily. I don't think people like Caroline learn from others being nice, that just makes them push boundaries even further.

What you're saying should be the way to change peoples perspectives but sadly it just doesn't work on most people.

Well if you have a victim mentality (not suggesting you do) I guess you imagine the world is against you and you have to fight your corner at all costs, in reality though everyone is dealing with themselves and in most cases I would say do things react a way because of their own insecurities and life experiences. If some one was treating you in a way you did not like and were able to approach them calmly and tell them it would be a very powerful affirmation of who you are . I was resolving problems this way from the age of 7 when I went to boarding school, and 9 times out of 10 you found that the problem was in your head and not real, we were taught to resolve by debate . Talk to the girl you think has problem with you, tell her how you she has made you feel and listen to what she has to say. it works you should try it .

[chuff me dizzy]

Originally Posted by kistar

Well if you have a victim mentality (not suggesting you do) I guess you imagine the world is against you and you have to fight your corner at all costs, in reality though everyone is dealing with themselves and in most cases I would say do things react a way because of their own insecurities and life experiences. If some one was treating you in a way you did not like and were able to approach them calmly and tell them it would be a very powerful affirmation of who you are . I was resolving problems this way from the age of 7 when I went to boarding school, and 9 times out of 10 you found that the problem was in your head and not real, we were taught to resolve by debate . Talk to the girl you think has problem with you, tell her how you she has made you feel and listen to what she has to say. it works you should try it .

Is this aimed at me ?

[WozMan]

Originally Posted by kistar

Well if you have a victim mentality (not suggesting you do) I guess you imagine the world is against you and you have to fight your corner at all costs, in reality though everyone is dealing with themselves and in most cases I would say do things react a way because of their own insecurities and life experiences. If some one was treating you in a way you did not like and were able to approach them calmly and tell them it would be a very powerful affirmation of who you are . I was resolving problems this way from the age of 7 when I went to boarding school, and 9 times out of 10 you found that the problem was in your head and not real, we were taught to resolve by debate . Talk to the girl you think has problem with you, tell her how you she has made you feel and listen to what she has to say. it works you should try it .

Actually yes, that is a very mature approach. I should apply it more in my own life

Obviously Luke A's reaction wasn't as skillful as this but not many people's are (myself included most of the time)

[MatthewS]

^^

You think that Caroline is a dominant person? Compared to Luke A?

[Niamh.]

Originally Posted by MatthewS

^^

You think that Caroline is a dominant person? Compared to Luke A?

I think she's a person who has constantly tried to belittle her HMs and acts in an incredibly insensitive manner