[jennyjuniper]

Originally Posted by TomC

I feel it would be just as valuable to post this here as it is asking my friends because of the gay demographic here lol, buuuutt:

I've never actually met this guy but seen him around a lot and liked the look of him, we were messaging for like 2 days and he was responding very quickly and generally giving very full replies but we never talked about anything serious. I broke the convo off, in a hope of leaving him wanting more haha, and i'm now just waiting for him to start a convo.

Is this futile?

Maybe he doesn't like playing games? Instead of making him want more, breaking off your convo's with him may have made him feel you just weren't interested.

[Ammi]

Originally Posted by TomC

I feel it would be just as valuable to post this here as it is asking my friends because of the gay demographic here lol, buuuutt:

I've never actually met this guy but seen him around a lot and liked the look of him, we were messaging for like 2 days and he was responding very quickly and generally giving very full replies but we never talked about anything serious. I broke the convo off, in a hope of leaving him wanting more haha, and i'm now just waiting for him to start a convo.

Is this futile?

..it could be that he's very awkward and shy himself, Tom and he needed you to lead the conversation but was actually really loving texting with you and getting to know you ...some people are just not comfortable conversationalists and not ones to initiate themselves so when you stopped..?../then it just all stopped but not necessarily any indication that he doesn't want to chat to you either...if you like him, t-t-t-t-take a chance/Abba...the worst that can happen in life is regret...everything else is just an experience and something taken from that experience...x....

Youtube video

[y.winter]

If it looks like the feeling is mutual, so go ahead and start the conversation. Do what you feel, not what is "right". This is not Survivor, strategies are not a compulsory.

[Josy]

Just say hello

[Crimson Dynamo]

he sounds like a cock

get someone brighter

[Jamie89]

You broke the convo off while it was going well and he was giving full replies to your messages... are you crazy? Yes what you're doing is futile, I don't believe in playing games at all to be honest when it comes to stuff like this, it just wastes time and if he's anything like me, he'd be more put off if he thought you were messaging 'strategically' And if you're both playing the 'wait for him to message first' game, then you're both going to lose tbh. If you like him and think there could be something in it, message him and tell him that. Tell him you want to meet for a coffee or something. Just be upfront basically. The worst that will happen is that he'll say no and you'll feel embarrassed, but you'll get over it. The best that will happen is that it could be the start of a great relationship that makes you really happy. Being rejected really isn't that bad anyway, and you'll never get anything you want unless you risk rejection/failure.

Anyway you need to weigh up the two potential negatives... 1 - feeling embarrassed after being rejected... 2 - regretting that you did nothing and never knowing what might have happened. Which one is worse to you? and make your decision based on that.

If you do want the convo to continue though the onus is kinda on you to restart it since you broke it off.

[caprimint]

Originally Posted by Jamie89

You broke the convo off while it was going well and he was giving full replies to your messages... are you crazy? Yes what you're doing is futile, I don't believe in playing games at all to be honest when it comes to stuff like this, it just wastes time and if he's anything like me, he'd be more put off if he thought you were messaging 'strategically' And if you're both playing the 'wait for him to message first' game, then you're both going to lose tbh. If you like him and think there could be something in it, message him and tell him that. Tell him you want to meet for a coffee or something. Just be upfront basically. The worst that will happen is that he'll say no and you'll feel embarrassed, but you'll get over it. The best that will happen is that it could be the start of a great relationship that makes you really happy. Being rejected really isn't that bad anyway, and you'll never get anything you want unless you risk rejection/failure.

Anyway you need to weigh up the two potential negatives... 1 - feeling embarrassed after being rejected... 2 - regretting that you did nothing and never knowing what might have happened. Which one is worse to you? and make your decision based on that.

If you do want the convo to continue though the onus is kinda on you to restart it since you broke it off.

This is put perfectly.

I honestly cannot understand why people play the chase when it comes to things like this, for me it would only go the opposite way - I'd assume that you weren't interested if you stopped replying and I certainly wouldn't message again after that (especially in the early stages, it's a bit different if there is some kind of emotional connection there).

[Niamh.]

Originally Posted by Jamie89

You broke the convo off while it was going well and he was giving full replies to your messages... are you crazy? Yes what you're doing is futile, I don't believe in playing games at all to be honest when it comes to stuff like this, it just wastes time and if he's anything like me, he'd be more put off if he thought you were messaging 'strategically' And if you're both playing the 'wait for him to message first' game, then you're both going to lose tbh. If you like him and think there could be something in it, message him and tell him that. Tell him you want to meet for a coffee or something. Just be upfront basically. The worst that will happen is that he'll say no and you'll feel embarrassed, but you'll get over it. The best that will happen is that it could be the start of a great relationship that makes you really happy. Being rejected really isn't that bad anyway, and you'll never get anything you want unless you risk rejection/failure.

Anyway you need to weigh up the two potential negatives... 1 - feeling embarrassed after being rejected... 2 - regretting that you did nothing and never knowing what might have happened. Which one is worse to you? and make your decision based on that.

If you do want the convo to continue though the onus is kinda on you to restart it since you broke it off.

Life is too short to be playing around with people like this

[Maru]

Originally Posted by Jamie89

You broke the convo off while it was going well and he was giving full replies to your messages... are you crazy? Yes what you're doing is futile, I don't believe in playing games at all to be honest when it comes to stuff like this, it just wastes time and if he's anything like me, he'd be more put off if he thought you were messaging 'strategically' And if you're both playing the 'wait for him to message first' game, then you're both going to lose tbh. If you like him and think there could be something in it, message him and tell him that. Tell him you want to meet for a coffee or something. Just be upfront basically. The worst that will happen is that he'll say no and you'll feel embarrassed, but you'll get over it. The best that will happen is that it could be the start of a great relationship that makes you really happy. Being rejected really isn't that bad anyway, and you'll never get anything you want unless you risk rejection/failure.

Anyway you need to weigh up the two potential negatives... 1 - feeling embarrassed after being rejected... 2 - regretting that you did nothing and never knowing what might have happened. Which one is worse to you? and make your decision based on that.

If you do want the convo to continue though the onus is kinda on you to restart it since you broke it off.

Pretty much this. I've never understood the watch and wait game. I guess if someone is worrying about coming off as too aggressive, it makes sense...

[Ammi]

.....perfect...and no, no advice Tom other than just no expectations, you're having a lovely coffee with someone that you've enjoyed chatting with is all and maybe leading to a friendship or romantic stuff and thangs and maybe just a coffee and nothing more but a great way to spend an hour or so....(enjoy.....)...

[Ammi]

..a great smell helps as well.../you know, some lovely perfumery...

[Ammi]

..oh and also...


..no just joking/no expectations...

[TomC]

omg we are meeting for coffee, so excited and happy and also a tad terrified

[Babayaro.]

Originally Posted by TomC

omg we are meeting for coffee, so excited and happy and also a tad terrified

Enjoy it!

[caprimint]

Originally Posted by TomC

omg we are meeting for coffee, so excited and happy and also a tad terrified

See if TiBB weren't intelligent then you'd still be playing hard to get

[Marsh.]

Youtube video

[Amy Jade]

Coffee means you'll suck him off. Enjoy!

[Mokka]

Originally Posted by Amy Jade

Coffee means you'll suck him off. Enjoy!

That isn't what coffee means in Canada

[Marsh.]

Originally Posted by Mokka

That isn't what coffee means in Canada

Ew, rimming isn't very popular in England. Sorry Mokka.

[Mokka]

Originally Posted by Marsh.

Ew, rimming isn't very popular in England. Sorry Mokka.

Oh god....not the rimming jokes again... I thought we were past all that

[Jack_]

Originally Posted by Amy Jade

Coffee means you'll suck him off. Enjoy!

[TomC]

Any tips?

[caprimint]

Cliché but be yourself and don't go with too many expectations (aka don't pressure yourself to try and be a certain way, just go open-mindedly and see if your connection feels natural).

[caprimint]

Try not to do anything like spill your coffee over him or anything either, would probs kill the mood

[TomC]

sooo...

the meeting fell through because of a certain hangover of mine and we agreed to meet again but that time he cancelled

Ever since then I started to feel he wasn't that interested in meeting. He said we could meet any time, but in a friendly way initially, but suggested he was open to development. I feel like I've been blown off a bit, and I'm not sure if it's too needy to message again to try and arrange something

My friends came to the conlcusion today he's just not worth it because it's obvious from the messages I'm more into him than he is to me, but maybe he's just chilled, and it should also be considered we've not even met yet. The hard thing is though I just like him a lot in terms of looks and it's so hard to walk away and stop trying when I have been for almost two weeks now. I didn't talk about things to people so as not to look stupid, but obviously you run away with ur imagination sometimes. It's also really hard because we came so close to meeting twice, and in the first instance it was my fault we didn't.

Situations like this are sooo hard to read, and i don't wanna lose dignity. Should I just leave it?