[Elliot]

I feel like if it isn’t a collective say it’s not a very healthy relationship. Having a baby and being a parent is a pretty ****ing life changing decision. It’s unfair on either party if anyone goes behind anyone’s back to do something this important. Of course this situation is a bit different and it is as if he wanted to force her to be a mom, but this is more @ people in this thread that it’s only up to the women, which seems a bit unfair

[Denver]

Originally Posted by Elliot

I feel like if it isn’t a collective say it’s not a very healthy relationship. Having a baby and being a parent is a pretty ****ing life changing decision. It’s unfair on either party if anyone goes behind anyone’s back to do something this important. Of course this situation is a bit different and it is as if he wanted to force her to be a mom, but this is more @ people in this thread that it’s only up to the women, which seems a bit unfair

But the same people would expect a man to pay child maintenance even if he said he didnt want the child

[Tom4784]

Until men can find a way to carry babies to term then it's completely the woman's decision. To suggest otherwise is a slippery slope.

As men, we must accept that our role in the child birth process is at the beginning and at the end. We're there for conception, We'll raise the child when it's born but during pregnancy, we can't take that burden for the woman instead, we can only watch and be supportive so we shouldn't have a say if a woman wants an abortion.

[Crimson Dynamo]

Originally Posted by Dezzy

Until men can find a way to carry babies to term then it's completely the woman's decision. To suggest otherwise is a slippery slope.

As men, we must accept that our role in the child birth process is at the beginning and at the end. We're there for conception, We'll raise the child when it's born but during pregnancy, we can't take that burden for the woman instead, we can only watch and be supportive so we shouldn't have a say if a woman wants an abortion.

No man would stay in a relationship if a woman aborted his and her baby without a discussion

or at least i hope he wouldn't

[Tom4784]

Originally Posted by LeatherTrumpet

No man would stay in a relationship if a woman aborted his and her baby without a discussion

or at least i hope he wouldn't

Considering the man in the story, that sounds like a blessing for her.

[Niamh.]

Originally Posted by Dezzy

Considering the man in the story, that sounds like a blessing for her.

Indeed

[user104658]

Originally Posted by Dezzy

He pleaded with her not to have an abortion so he knew. It's not like she just upped and popped an abo-bo pill one day and even if she did, it's her right to do so.

It's down to the women's discretion whether they want to discuss it or not.

I'm talking more "in general" than this specific case, it doesn't sound like it was a very healthy relationship (if it even was one?) in the first place so that's not what I'm really talking about.

I guess I agree with the BIB, however...

Originally Posted by LeatherTrumpet

No man would stay in a relationship if a woman aborted his and her baby without a discussion

or at least i hope he wouldn't

I also am inclined to agree with LT on this one. It's entirely at the woman's discretion if she chooses to discuss it, yes, BUT I would say that if she chooses not to it should be a MAJOR red flag that there is something very wrong and unhealthy with that relationship, and it should prompt both parties to seriously reconsider being in that relationship at all. Again the final decision is the womans and I'm not disputing that; but the attitude of "meh I'll just away and do it without mentioning it" being acceptable in a respectful adult relationship? Just... no. That relationship is trash.

[Tom4784]

Then he should have worn a condom.

[Denver]

Originally Posted by Dezzy

Then he should have worn a condom.

So your saying women cant be forced in to being a parent but men can? do you know how ****ed up that is?

women are just as guilty for unprotected sex its not a one way blame

[Tom4784]

Originally Posted by Adam.

So your saying women cant be forced in to being a parent but men can? do you know how ****ed up that is?

women are just as guilty for unprotected sex its not a one way blame

I've never gotten anyone pregnant because I'm careful, I don't want a baby, I don't want to risk having a baby. I only get into relationships with people who feel the same way.

I doubt there will ever be an occasion where I get someone pregnant unless it's mutually decided that it's what we both want, if men aren't that careful then it's their own fault that they'll have to put money forward for a baby in nine months time.

You can't compare men being forced to pay for a baby they created to forcing a woman through pregnancy. It's a stupid comparison.

[user104658]

Originally Posted by Dezzy

I've never gotten anyone pregnant because I'm careful, I don't want a baby, I don't want to risk having a baby. I only get into relationships with people who feel the same way.

I doubt there will ever be an occasion where I get someone pregnant unless it's mutually decided that it's what we both want, if men aren't that careful then it's their own fault

Dezzy honestly this is so naive that I'm wondering if you've actually been in a long or long-ish term heterosexual sexual relationship? I'm sorry as that's obviously a very personal question but... it's so far from that simple, that I can only assume someone who hasn't been there would think this is accurate .

Biology is strong, we exist to reproduce, life finds a way. Unless one or both partners is actually infertile, there is no way to eliminate the risk of pregnancy. "Careful" just doesn't cut it.

[Tom4784]

Originally Posted by Toy Soldier

Dezzy honestly this is so naive that I'm wondering if you've actually been in a long or long-ish term heterosexual sexual relationship? I'm sorry as that's obviously a very personal question but... it's so far from that simple, that I can only assume someone who hasn't been there would think this is accurate .

Biology is strong, we exist to reproduce, life finds a way. Unless one or both partners is actually infertile, there is no way to eliminate the risk of pregnancy. "Careful" just doesn't cut it.

Oh cool, attack me. That's reasonable. Your experiences aren't universal, your relationships are different to mine but that doesn't mean I'm gonna make you out to be a liar just because your outlook doesn't line up with mine. What you've done is just try to undermine me personally instead of arguing against my opinion.

The chances of a condom breaking or not working in any way is critically low, if that did happen to me and whoever I was with at the time wanted to keep the baby then I'd accept it and do the best I can. I don't want babies but you can sure as hell bet I wouldn't demand she have an abortion or think that I was right to. Like I said before though, I only tend to enter relationships with people are on the same page as me when it comes to the big picture. It's a conversation I always have early on because it's a deal breaker if we don't agree.

[Tom4784]

Also, you can keep calling it a baby but it won't make it so, using emotive language won't make a bunch a cells a baby no matter how hard you try to push that false narrative.

[Crimson Dynamo]

Originally Posted by Dezzy

Also, you can keep calling it a baby but it won't make it so, using emotive language won't make a bunch a cells a baby no matter how hard you try to push that false narrative.

er

we are all a bunch of cells

[Tom4784]

Originally Posted by LeatherTrumpet

er

we are all a bunch of cells

We can support our own existence, a six week old fetus (more like a microscopic egg at that point) can not.

[Crimson Dynamo]

Originally Posted by Dezzy

We can support our own existence, a six week old fetus (more like a microscopic egg at that point) can not.

a baby/child cannot either

[Tom4784]

Originally Posted by LeatherTrumpet

a baby/child cannot either

If you separate a fetus from the womb, it will die pretty quickly because it can't exist outside of the womb or a womb-like environment.

Babies can support their own life but not their needs, just like any other person, they'll die without food or water.

You can't compare the two with a straight face.

[Vicky.]

My sister is pregnant currently. Her partner was using condoms and she was on contraception too. Very very rare, but it does happen still even with multiple contraception methods. The only way to definitely not get pregnant/get someone pregnant is to never have sex. I was going to say be sterilized, however a man I know got that done and then got his wife pregnant a few years later!

Obviously condoms lessen the risks though, massively.

[Crimson Dynamo]

Sex 100 times a year?

Bloody Hell TS this isnt Caligula

[Parmy]

What if the man wanted the fetus aborted and the woman refused...would he still be expected to pay for maintenence ?