Yes, and I don't really care anymore. Here's why...
There is a condition that runs through my family that subjected my mother and other family members to rather cruel treatment growing up. For example, when were crossing the street one time, a mother and her kids.. one of the kids came behind my mother "mimicking" her walk and followed her across the crosswalk. To the amusement of the mother and her other kids... this kind of treatment is more common than most people realize, and in my view, nobody is more stigmatized than the mentally ill and the physically disabled.
Anyway, I was also bullied in school and being small in stature didn't help either. There were other things that made me very different than other kids (race not included). I learned really fast, that the main reason I was the target for this behavior is because 1) I was an easy target being that I 'stood out' from the group 2) I ceded control over my emotional and psychological well-being over to these aggressors... 3) I was rightfully a bit obnoxious in my youth (
)
When I figured out I was giving up my personal power, a switch went off and I took it back. I did not need permission to feel OK in my own shoes from other people. The idea of doing of someone trying to pull the wool over my eyes, to make me feel otherwise, now that actually angers me quite a bit. Like infuriatingly so. So much so, there's no chance I think I would ever cede that power again. In relating my sense of self to how I was treated in society, I was arming them with all the "propaganda" to effectively label and define my existance... so in realizing that, a vast majority of my misery went away pretty much overnight.
The other pressure that sort of led me to that conclusion is because my family's reaction to bullying in their early childhood. They have a crippling form of the disease, so "hiding" isn't really an option for them. So what was my uncle's solution? He is in his 40's and exists for the most part in his bedroom... will not leave out of fear of ridicule. When people come over, if he doesn't know them that well or haven't seen them in a while, he will turn around and rush back to his room... he may eventually come out when the fear goes down a bit, but in general, he's incredibly sensitive to other people's treatment of him. There's absolutely no reason for him to hide, he is actually quite a lovely personality and he's pretty funny... but he doesn't have a voice due to the form of the disease he has (we can understand him a little though), so that maybe intensifies the feeling of needing to be excluded so as to not put pressure on others to "assist" him... which is my other gripe... that is the tendency for most folk who encounter the disabled is to coddle/protect them... that's actually quite humiliating (and even annoying) at times for someone who already struggles to do very much, as people are quite pushy about wanting to help those who are in a "lesser" condition.
My mother is very similar, and she has lived with a major victim complex her whole life.
So I've seen what happens when we give power to other people in how we feel, and that's not a way to live life at all... my uncle has no quality of life, but he's fully adjusted to the situation because of the crippling fear. He does not wear glasses either, so he is virtually blind... means everyone has to do everything for him just about and it's not good, because he's already so much of his personal power to others. Thankfully they have family members that look after them now full-time who they trust (but also enable them), but I don't know what they will do when those family members pass...
So yeah... have I been discriminated? Oh hell yeah. In a few number of ways. But do I care now? No. ***** no... never let other people have control over your sense of well-being and your way of life. The best revenge is not giving a sh**. I do believe when we cede our emotions to others, we are making the problem much more complicated for ourselves than it really needs to be. The worst things we do in that mindset is what we do to (or don't do for) ourselves... how we treat ourselves is more important than whether we "belong".
Anyway, I think people who "discriminate", they do it because they crave the personal power they can't summon for themselves, so they get it from others... they want you to become restricted emotionally, as restricted as they feel. It absolutely says loads about those individuals, and it has very little to do with the person they are actually discriminating. I don't even "feel sorry" for people who are stuck in the victim-cycle, because I can see all the traps now... it's rather cyclical, but it's a bit like any other fear... getting past it is pretty much the most difficult part. If you live without other people's permission, then they have no choice but to deal with it. It's their problem...
TDLR: I think a large part of overcoming adversity is our attitude... yes, there are the real obstacles, like when someone is applying for welfare or having to participate in that rigged system, there's a lot of discrimination there, and that's always a battle. However, discrimination is very common (imo) in various walks of life... I think fixating on particular character traits or even skin tone or "looks", that's probably the point of the discrimination is to get you to be hung up on it... but there are plenty of areas of life where the field is rather even, actually, but only if you can learn to be your own hero, then you won't need anyone else to come save you...
Hybrid Mode
