About Us ThisisBigBrother.com

Bollo · 11-05-2012, 04:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Niamh.

Well I would assume it's not going to be anyway effective if it doesn't actually hurt the child, and I would never want to physically hurt my children.

Fair Enough... But I got an occasional smack as a kid when I was naughty and it always deterred me from doing it again...It didn't cause me any harm but it did stop me from misbehaving

Pyramid* · 11-05-2012, 04:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Niamh.

Well I would assume it's not going to be anyway effective if it doesn't actually hurt the child, and I would never want to physically hurt my children.

If it wasn't effective for some children....some parents wouldn't do it.

Most don't tend to do it always out of temper / anger - what works for you and your children doesn't mean that will work for other parents and their children.

Niamh. · 12-05-2012, 11:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pyramid*

If it wasn't effective for some children....some parents wouldn't do it.

Most don't tend to do it always out of temper / anger - what works for you and your children doesn't mean that will work for other parents and their children.

I'm sure slapping is effective...... I just think there are better ways to discipline then to get physical with a child. And how do you know whether most tend to do it out of anger or not btw?

Pyramid* · 13-05-2012, 02:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Niamh.

I'm sure slapping is effective...... I just think there are better ways to discipline then to get physical with a child. And how do you know whether most tend to do it out of anger or not btw?

There may indeed be other ways that may be more effective: and there may not be.

How do you know that isn't the case, that most tend to do it out of anger btw...... do you know this for 100% certainty? I don't but it is my opinion regardless, because I have friends who admit to it and who have been embarrassed and ashamed and have tried to explain why they did what they did. That's why I have my opinion.

What works for one parent, doesn't work for another. What works for one child, may not work for another.

No one is saying one way is right, or the other way is wrong: it's about accepting that other people DO have an opinion Niamh which you may not necessarily agree with - a person and will have an opinion without being a parent themselves. Not all parents are expert parents - if there was such a thing: someone would be bottling it, selling it and making an absolute fortune.

Kizzy · 11-05-2012, 05:13 PM

Yes its horses for courses, I have two and can count on one hand the times my daughter has got slapped whereas the boy.... ooooh.....Mind you since she turned 18 I have come close to punching her in the face many times

Pyramid* · 11-05-2012, 05:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kizzy

Yes its horses for courses, I have two and can count on one hand the times my daughter has got slapped whereas the boy.... ooooh.....Mind you since she turned 18 I have come close to punching her in the face many times

It's in the rule book Kizzy that when they turn 18, you are allowed to beat them viciously into a pulp.

Kizzy · 11-05-2012, 05:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pyramid*

It's in the rule book Kizzy that when they turn 18, you are allowed to beat them viciously into a pulp.

Yes parents could write everything down in a 'smack book' and on their 18 birthday let em have it...
THATS for when you cut holes in your curtains
THATS for when you drew on the front door in permanant marker
THATS for going missing for 2 hours when you were 7 and ageing me 10 years
THATS for telling your brother the hedgehogs left him on our doorstep
THATS for googling tits and bums and blaming your brother so he got a smack when it was you.....

Pyramid* · 11-05-2012, 05:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kizzy

Yes parents could write everything down in a 'smack book' and on their 18 birthday let em have it...
THATS for when you cut holes in your curtains
THATS for when you drew on the front door in permanant marker
THATS for going missing for 2 hours when you were 7 and ageing me 10 years
THATS for telling your brother the hedgehogs left him on our doorstep
THATS for googling tits and bums and blaming your brother so he got a smack when it was you.....

Am loving the 2 in bold.

When I was about 6, people having their own cars was still a kinda posh thing.... neighbours in seeing mum and dad (showing their new car). Apprently I asked if I could go out drawing the car.....

minutes later: I'm there with my felt tip coloured pens, drawing on this pristine white car.

I can't recall but apparently I got one sore backside for that one.

Marsh. · 11-05-2012, 07:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kizzy

Yes parents could write everything down in a 'smack book' and on their 18 birthday let em have it...
THATS for when you cut holes in your curtains
THATS for when you drew on the front door in permanant marker
THATS for going missing for 2 hours when you were 7 and ageing me 10 years
THATS for telling your brother the hedgehogs left him on our doorstep
THATS for googling tits and bums and blaming your brother so he got a smack when it was you.....

My cousins went through that phase a few months back. "Cheryl Cole Naked" I think was the search item. lol

Kizzy · 11-05-2012, 06:09 PM

Hahaha! class

Mystic Mock · 13-05-2012, 05:12 PM

Tbf it's only hitting them to the point where they're in pain for about a minute, not beat the living **** out of them.

Also if they're being really naughty and won't listen to you then I think you've got no choice but to give them a little smack.

Niamh. · 13-05-2012, 05:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Mockinator

Tbf it's only hitting them to the point where they're in pain for about a minute, not beat the living **** out of them.

Also if they're being really naughty and won't listen to you then I think you've got no choice but to give them a little smack.

There's always a choice and there's always a better way then getting physical.

Mystic Mock · 13-05-2012, 05:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Niamh.

There's always a choice and there's always a better way then getting physical.

Even if taking away there stuff doesn't work? or ignoring them?

Niamh. · 13-05-2012, 05:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Mockinator

Even if taking away there stuff doesn't work? or ignoring them?

Yes. And what age group are you talking about here btw, just out of curiosity?

Mystic Mock · 13-05-2012, 05:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Niamh.

Yes. And what age group are you talking about here btw, just out of curiosity?

Well I was thinking 4 to 6 year olds.

Pyramid* · 13-05-2012, 05:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Mockinator

Even if taking away there stuff doesn't work? or ignoring them?

And then they begin to really rebel, start going around bullying other kids, start destroying other people's property etc, being completely disrespectful: parents cannot be with their children 24/7 - taking toys away, grounding them, banishing them to their room, etc only goes so far - they go to school and then start lashing out there when they do get 'freedom'.

There are many scenarios that can (and do) lead to this very type of behaviour.

guess if all children were little angels, who all did what their parents told them to do, who behaved after a spell on the naughy step, after a month of being grounded: it would be a wonderful world. Sad part is: we don't live in a world that everyone is blessed with such good children. If it's all so easy, it makes me wonder why there are so many kids who go off the rails. No one is telling me every one of those kids turned out that way all because they received an occasional smack on the hand.

Samuel. · 13-05-2012, 05:47 PM

Niamh's right, psychically hurting a child is indefensible. Makes no sense for it to be seen as acceptable as long as it's a child that's getting hurt.

Pyramid* · 13-05-2012, 05:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Samuel.

Niamh's right, psychically hurting a child is indefensible. Makes no sense for it to be seen as acceptable as long as it's a child that's getting hurt.

and what about physically .... (sorry!).

I agree, anything more than a gentle smack is unacceptable. And absolutely no way should there be any real force or strength behind it. That is what I would regard as abuse.

We all have our own thoughts on it.

Niamh. · 13-05-2012, 05:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Samuel.

Niamh's right, psychically hurting a child is indefensible. Makes no sense for it to be seen as acceptable as long as it's a child that's getting hurt.

Exactly Samuel. I think it's bizarre that it's still acceptable in our society tbh, although I think peoples views are starting to change. I mean not so long ago teachers were allowed discipline our children with canes......now we think that's barbaric

Pyramid* · 13-05-2012, 05:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Niamh.

Exactly Samuel. I think it's bizarre that it's still acceptable in our society tbh, although I think peoples views are starting to change. I mean not so long ago teachers were allowed discipline our children with canes......now we think that's barbaric

I was taught in school with the leather strap being a deterrent, not a cane. I still don't regard that as barbaric. It stopped a lot of the nonsense and misbehaviour.

There's only so much detention can do.

Niamh. · 13-05-2012, 06:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pyramid*

I was taught in school with the leather strap being a deterrent, not a cane. I still don't regard that as barbaric. It stopped a lot of the nonsense and misbehaviour.

There's only so much detention can do.

Well, I can tell you, there would be trouble if anyone raised a hand and definitely a leather strap to my kids!