[Pyramid*]

On the offshoot from another thread.....

Controlling partners.

Some of you on here are too young to have possibly encountered - but am sure you may still find some you can relate to - even as friends.

As I am female: I'll use that slant for discussion in what I find a controlling partner (or friend).

Social events are with 'their friends'...not yours.

They 'dont like' your friends - regardless of how nice they are

They make the rules on where you are going, when and with whom.

They love that you are popular with their friends - in public. But in private, you are accused of all manner of things, that you are purportedly 'upto' , with their friends (though they'd never accuse their friends of this, or admit to giving you a hard time over it either)

Single sex events (ie: GNO's) are seen as an absolute threat - you know it's going to cause grief when you mention it to them.

You go to a night out without them -normally with 'your' friends, not theirs, and then you 'pay the price' by your partner treating you like a piece of dog crap, as though you've done something very wrong,when you haven't.

When you don't answer your phone to them and have to call them back: you 'must have been up to no good'. (in their eyes)

you find that you put off nights out / visits to your friends, without your partner, as you no longer can be assed with the aggro you'll get (and the unfounded accusations) from your partner. (you know.... the one who supposedly loves and trusts you!)

If you dare ask the partner about something they have arranged to go without you - regardless of how innocent a question is - it's turned around into YOU making a bit deal about nothing and interrogating them. (yet it's ok for them to do the same thing with you and you are meant to just accept that !!!)

When you get stuck in traffic quite genuinely ..... and know you are going be under suspicion of 'foul play / cheating / getting up to no use / making plans behind their back' - and are going to arrive home to a barrage of questions and the inevitable major fight *with them storming out, getting drunk then coming home to give you more verbals and/or worse*

I see these traits in both males and females, but it does 'seem' more prevailant in the insecure and jealous male partner.

What makes these people tick and why do people put up with it.