[Seraphim]

Originally Posted by jet

He obviously is a violent man whose only way to deal with anger is to use his fists.
The other night in the garden he told Lee "Get it out!" "Punch somebody, punch me"!
Men like that never change, because the reason they react with violent words or actions is because they haven't the intelligence or capacity to deal with a situation in a mature way. They can only let their fists speak for them.

It's not obvious to me. He's kept a lid on his anger on BB, and is well able to handle aggro from other people in a variety of ways: ignoring it; walking away; firing a snappy retort, etc. The papers aren't full of his victims coming forward and telling tales, now he's on BB. There's a news story from a marriage which ended 25 years ago and nothing since: no assault charges; no wife beating allegations; no court cases; no candid camera shots of him caught red-handed with his fist raised.

As far as I can see, there are two possibilities:

1. He's grown up/changed/got a handle on his drinking and emotions.
2. I've missed something in the papers.

[Lister of Smeg]

Tbh id want to do the same ifvsomeone stole from one of my friends.

[LeatherTrumpet]

He died of liver failure

Is that a polite way of saying he was a chronic alcoholic?

[jet]

Originally Posted by Seraphim

It's not obvious to me. He's kept a lid on his anger on BB, and is well able to handle aggro from other people in a variety of ways: ignoring it; walking away; firing a snappy retort, etc. The papers aren't full of his victims coming forward and telling tales, now he's on BB. There's a news story from a marriage which ended 25 years ago and nothing since: no assault charges; no wife beating allegations; no court cases; no candid camera shots of him caught red-handed with his fist raised.

As far as I can see, there are two possibilities:

1. He's grown up/changed/got a handle on his drinking and emotions.
2. I've missed something in the papers.

Walking away and ignoring anger is not the best way to deal with it as the anger becomes bottled up. Sooner or later the person will explode, do something inappropriate or once again turn to drink or drugs to cope with destructive emotions.

A violent man who has beaten his wife, threatened to beat up someone inappropriately (as in the case of Linda's husband - what happened to the law dealing with theft?) and still uses violent words as a way to deal with situations can curb his instincts to use his fists and if so that is a good thing - but can that instinct really ever 'go away'? No - because Jim now uses passive - aggressiveness to deal with situations and that is a classic switch -over coping mechanism.

He could have taken Linda aside and asked for a quiet word. He could have asked her what the problem was in a non - angry, quiet way and listened to her answer without interrupting. She would have got it off her chest and he would feel good for doing the right thing.Then they could perhaps have been able to move on.

Walking away, ignoring her, sniping back at her and interrupting her (all classic passive - aggressive behaviour) only made the frustration in Linda worse and the vicious circle continued. There is only one way then it could have come to a head - Jim losing his cool and slipping up and that is indeed what happened.

[sampvt]

Originally Posted by jet

Walking away and ignoring anger is not the best way to deal with it as the anger becomes bottled up. Sooner or later the person will explode, do something inappropriate or once again turn to drink or drugs to cope with destructive emotions.

A violent man who has beaten his wife, threatened to beat up someone inappropriately (as in the case of Linda's husband - what happened to the law dealing with theft?) and still uses violent words as a way to deal with situations can curb his instincts to use his fists and if so that is a good thing - but can that instinct really ever 'go away'? No - because Jim now uses passive - aggressiveness to deal with situations and that is a classic switch -over coping mechanism.

He could have taken Linda aside and asked for a quiet word. He could have asked her what the problem was in a non - angry, quiet way and listened to her answer without interrupting. She would have got it off her chest and he would feel good for doing the right thing.Then they could perhaps have been able to move on.

Walking away, ignoring her, sniping back at her and interrupting her (all classic passive - aggressive behaviour) only made the frustration in Linda worse and the vicious circle continued. There is only one way then it could have come to a head - Jim losing his cool and slipping up and that is indeed what happened.

God I love reading your posts, they are better than Jims jokes. You must let me know what book of logic you read from, lol

[the truth]

he is 100% right. his name was dragged into it and he was innocent. its linda who is endlessly bringing up the past. such a sad bitter hypcrite

[jet]

Originally Posted by sampvt

God I love reading your posts, they are better than Jims jokes. You must let me know what book of logic you read from, lol

Thanks. I aim to please.
By the way, common sense and experience don't come from books alone.

Methinks I have you rattled. lol

[the truth]

Originally Posted by jet

Walking away and ignoring anger is not the best way to deal with it as the anger becomes bottled up. Sooner or later the person will explode, do something inappropriate or once again turn to drink or drugs to cope with destructive emotions.

A violent man who has beaten his wife, threatened to beat up someone inappropriately (as in the case of Linda's husband - what happened to the law dealing with theft?) and still uses violent words as a way to deal with situations can curb his instincts to use his fists and if so that is a good thing - but can that instinct really ever 'go away'? No - because Jim now uses passive - aggressiveness to deal with situations and that is a classic switch -over coping mechanism.

He could have taken Linda aside and asked for a quiet word. He could have asked her what the problem was in a non - angry, quiet way and listened to her answer without interrupting. She would have got it off her chest and he would feel good for doing the right thing.Then they could perhaps have been able to move on.

Walking away, ignoring her, sniping back at her and interrupting her (all classic passive - aggressive behaviour) only made the frustration in Linda worse and the vicious circle continued. There is only one way then it could have come to a head - Jim losing his cool and slipping up and that is indeed what happened.

it is right to walk away in this case, because these people are plain jealous of him and have bulllied him from day 1....they dont care what he has to say, they are out to get him. especially as hes the most talented and most famous person left. they want to detsroy him simple as that. so thats the point in engaging with such people? none at all....even when he cooks meals and cleans the kitchen they attack him. theyre man haters, worse than that theyre also bitter and jelaous too

[the truth]

Originally Posted by Seraphim

It's not obvious to me. He's kept a lid on his anger on BB, and is well able to handle aggro from other people in a variety of ways: ignoring it; walking away; firing a snappy retort, etc. The papers aren't full of his victims coming forward and telling tales, now he's on BB. There's a news story from a marriage which ended 25 years ago and nothing since: no assault charges; no wife beating allegations; no court cases; no candid camera shots of him caught red-handed with his fist raised.

As far as I can see, there are two possibilities:

1. He's grown up/changed/got a handle on his drinking and emotions.
2. I've missed something in the papers.

yes agreed plus most the the flak thrown at him was utter lies and was thrown out of court

[jet]

Originally Posted by the truth

it is right to walk away in this case, because these people are plain jealous of him and have bulllied him from day 1....they dont care what he has to say, they are out to get him. especially as hes the most talented and most famous person left. they want to detsroy him simple as that. so thats the point in engaging with such people? none at all....even when he cooks meals and cleans the kitchen they attack him. theyre man haters, worse than that theyre also bitter and jelaous too

I was referring to the Jim/Linda situation and how the tension between them could have been resolved early on in the show.

[the truth]

Originally Posted by jet

I was referring to the Jim/Linda situation and how the tension between them could have been resolved early on in the show.

impossible. she is a vile bitter jealous boring bile filled woman. she also displays no humour, social intelligence, self awareness etc I doubt any person on earth could really get along with such a person, nor would they want to

[sampvt]

Originally Posted by jet

Thanks. I aim to please.
By the way, common sense and experience don't come from books alone.

Methinks I have you rattled. lol

Me rattled, never, I am 62 son. Ive had more experiences on the kazzi than you have had in your whole life. I am so cool calm and collected.

[Seraphim]

Originally Posted by jet

Walking away and ignoring anger is not the best way to deal with it as the anger becomes bottled up. Sooner or later the person will explode, do something inappropriate or once again turn to drink or drugs to cope with destructive emotions.

Who says? I recently read an anger management book written by a prominent psychologist which advocated these very techniques for dealing with anger. It said that research has shown that bottling up rage does not lead to an explosion and that in fact the best way to handle it is to allow it to dissipate naturally.

A violent man who has beaten his wife, threatened to beat up someone inappropriately (as in the case of Linda's husband - what happened to the law dealing with theft?) and still uses violent words as a way to deal with situations can curb his instincts to use his fists and if so that is a good thing - but can that instinct really ever 'go away'? No - because Jim now uses passive - aggressiveness to deal with situations and that is a classic switch -over coping mechanism.

He is not a violent man just because you think he is. He was violent according to one of his ex-wives 25 years ago. Since then, there has been no incidence of violence come to light. As far as the incident described in this thread...

‘Jim blew his top when Linda’s husband was caught. He was playing up the road and he came down and went ballistic. He got right up to him and wanted to beat him up. He was yelling, “No one steals from my mates”. Linda and others got the two apart"

If Jim had gone right up to someone then he had the opportunity to sock him one. This description doesn't say he socked him. It doesn't even say that Jim made any physical threats. We don't know why the person who reported the incident said that Jim wanted to beat him up. That might have been an exaggeration, or a mistaken idea formed by an onlooker. It might have been the truth, but you don't know and neither do I because we weren't there. Again, this incident happened about 20 years ago.

He could have taken Linda aside and asked for a quiet word. He could have asked her what the problem was in a non - angry, quiet way and listened to her answer without interrupting. She would have got it off her chest and he would feel good for doing the right thing.Then they could perhaps have been able to move on.

He has tried this sort of thing. We have seen it on the program. Linda does not want to engage with him, or let it go, or discuss it for obvious reasons (i.e. exposing her husband's misdeed). Jim obviously suspected that this incident was at the root of the problem, but out of deference to both her feelings and respect for the dead he chose not to push it or discuss it with any other housemate or in the diary room.

Walking away, ignoring her, sniping back at her and interrupting her (all classic passive - aggressive behaviour) only made the frustration in Linda worse and the vicious circle continued. There is only one way then it could have come to a head - Jim losing his cool and slipping up and that is indeed what happened.

No it is not what happened. Jim didn't lose his cool. He said to Luisa, in response to her asking what the issue was, that she needed to ask Linda.. to ask her about Frank Carson's dressing room. That's just a fact, and he obviously would not have anticipated that Linda would make such an issue of it. Any reasonable person would have simply explained to Luisa what had happened, or said she didn't want to discuss it. Instead she deliberately made it into an enormous drama by faking an over-emotional melt-down in order to get everyone on her side yet again. As far as Jim being passive aggressive in response to her overt hatred, manipulative behaviour and nastiness: give me Jim every time. I cannot wait to see the back of that Linda Nolan.

[the truth]

we can see thankfully how dishponest bullying and unpleasant linda is , thanks to big brother. she is a total psychological bully. this show unlike many others really exposes how some people behave 24 hours a day. bravo to big brother for at leats exposing this

[anne666]

Originally Posted by jet

Walking away and ignoring anger is not the best way to deal with it as the anger becomes bottled up. Sooner or later the person will explode, do something inappropriate or once again turn to drink or drugs to cope with destructive emotions.

A violent man who has beaten his wife, threatened to beat up someone inappropriately (as in the case of Linda's husband - what happened to the law dealing with theft?) and still uses violent words as a way to deal with situations can curb his instincts to use his fists and if so that is a good thing - but can that instinct really ever 'go away'? No - because Jim now uses passive - aggressiveness to deal with situations and that is a classic switch -over coping mechanism.

He could have taken Linda aside and asked for a quiet word. He could have asked her what the problem was in a non - angry, quiet way and listened to her answer without interrupting. She would have got it off her chest and he would feel good for doing the right thing.Then they could perhaps have been able to move on.

Walking away, ignoring her, sniping back at her and interrupting her (all classic passive - aggressive behaviour) only made the frustration in Linda worse and the vicious circle continued. There is only one way then it could have come to a head - Jim losing his cool and slipping up and that is indeed what happened.

Excellent post

[anne666]

Originally Posted by the truth

we can see thankfully how dishponest bullying and unpleasant linda is , thanks to big brother. she is a total psychological bully. this show unlike many others really exposes how some people behave 24 hours a day. bravo to big brother for at leats exposing this

Are you privy to some secret 24 hour a day live feed? We see a few edited minutes out of every 24 hours.

[the truth]

Originally Posted by anne666

Excellent post

no it wasnt, it was utter nonsense

[sampvt]

Originally Posted by Seraphim

Who says? I recently read an anger management book written by a prominent psychologist which advocated these very techniques for dealing with anger. It said that research has shown that bottling up rage does not lead to an explosion and that in fact the best way to handle it is to allow it to dissipate naturally.



He is not a violent man just because you think he is. He was violent according to one of his ex-wives 25 years ago. Since then, there has been no incidence of violence come to light. As far as the incident described in this thread...

‘Jim blew his top when Linda’s husband was caught. He was playing up the road and he came down and went ballistic. He got right up to him and wanted to beat him up. He was yelling, “No one steals from my mates”. Linda and others got the two apart"

If Jim had gone right up to someone then he had the opportunity to sock him one. This description doesn't say he socked him. It doesn't even say that Jim made any physical threats. We don't know why the person who reported the incident said that Jim wanted to beat him up. That might have been an exaggeration, or a mistaken idea formed by an onlooker. It might have been the truth, but you don't know and neither do I because we weren't there. Again, this incident happened about 20 years ago.



He has tried this sort of thing. We have seen it on the program. Linda does not want to engage with him, or let it go, or discuss it for obvious reasons (i.e. exposing her husband's misdeed). Jim obviously suspected that this incident was at the root of the problem, but out of deference to both her feelings and respect for the dead he chose not to push it or discuss it with any other housemate or in the diary room.



No it is not what happened. Jim didn't lose his cool. He said to Luisa, in response to her asking what the issue was, that she needed to ask Linda.. to ask her about Frank Carson's dressing room. That's just a fact, and he obviously would not have anticipated that Linda would make such an issue of it. Any reasonable person would have simply explained to Luisa what had happened, or said she didn't want to discuss it. Instead she deliberately made it into an enormous drama by faking an over-emotional melt-down in order to get everyone on her side yet again. As far as Jim being passive aggressive in response to her overt hatred, manipulative behaviour and nastiness. Give me Jim every time. I cannot wait to see the back of that Linda Nolan.

Now that's what I call a good arse smacking post, great read.

[sampvt]

Originally Posted by anne666

Excellent post

Cant agree anne, it was totally biased and complete rubbish actually.

[joeysteele]

Originally Posted by jet

Walking away and ignoring anger is not the best way to deal with it as the anger becomes bottled up. Sooner or later the person will explode, do something inappropriate or once again turn to drink or drugs to cope with destructive emotions.

A violent man who has beaten his wife, threatened to beat up someone inappropriately (as in the case of Linda's husband - what happened to the law dealing with theft?) and still uses violent words as a way to deal with situations can curb his instincts to use his fists and if so that is a good thing - but can that instinct really ever 'go away'? No - because Jim now uses passive - aggressiveness to deal with situations and that is a classic switch -over coping mechanism.

He could have taken Linda aside and asked for a quiet word. He could have asked her what the problem was in a non - angry, quiet way and listened to her answer without interrupting. She would have got it off her chest and he would feel good for doing the right thing.Then they could perhaps have been able to move on.

Walking away, ignoring her, sniping back at her and interrupting her (all classic passive - aggressive behaviour) only made the frustration in Linda worse and the vicious circle continued. There is only one way then it could have come to a head - Jim losing his cool and slipping up and that is indeed what happened.

Hi my friend jet, I don't say a great deal to you as to Jim as I know we are on totally opposite sides as to him in this CBB series.
My great respect for you yourself however remains 100% intact.

What I want to say here however is, I actually applaud Jim's walking away from full confrontation, it is something Lee does too I have noticed.
Speaking for myself, many times I have found myself in a situation where harsh words and a major argument could have likely blown up.

I choose in the main,to walk away and far from finding it bottling up, I find if I go out for a walk or take my Dog for a walk, after a short time things can seem very different.
On loads of occasions where I could have fallen out badly with someone,I have walked away, thought hard then came back,smiled and all is well.

After that,I find anyway, the original problem,or a great deal of it, starts to pale into insignificance.
So I do really applaud Jim for taking that action really,that's all I want to say.

[Seraphim]

I'd just like to add this. If Jim was in any way as bad as Linda would like us to think, then why did she agree to be in the house with him? I witnessed a friend of mine being bullied by a boyfriend and I never spoke to him again, apart from telling him to give her the flowers he brought to me when he appeared on my doorstep the next day. I wouldn't let him in, and refused to speak to him again. If I'd agreed to be on a show then discovered he would be on it too, I'd have refused to go on, and given my explanation why. She took the job, and has spent the entire time bitching, carping, attacking and manipulating, and generally trying to make his life miserable. She has sucked the entire house into the drama and spoiled the atmosphere for everyone, including the viewers.

[Kazanne]

Originally Posted by joeysteele

Hi my friend jet, I don't say a great deal to you as to Jim as I know we are on totally opposite sides as to him in this CBB series.
My great respect for you yourself however remains 100% intact.

What I want to say here however is, I actually applaud Jim's walking away from full confrontation, it is something Lee does too I have noticed.
Speaking for myself, many times I have found myself in a situation where harsh words and a major argument could have likely blown up.

I choose in the main,to walk away and far from finding it bottling up, I find if I go out for a walk or take my Dog for a walk, after a short time things can seem very different.
On loads of occasions where I could have fallen out badly with someone,I have walked away, thought hard then came back,smiled and all is well.

After that,I find anyway, the original problem,or a great deal of it, starts to pale into insignificance.
So I do really applaud Jim for taking that action really,that's all I want to say.

some light relief Joey,

Youtube video

[anne666]

Deleted

[jet]

Originally Posted by joeysteele

Hi my friend jet, I don't say a great deal to you as to Jim as I know we are on totally opposite sides as to him in this CBB series.
My great respect for you yourself however remains 100% intact.

What I want to say here however is, I actually applaud Jim's walking away from full confrontation, it is something Lee does too I have noticed.
Speaking for myself, many times I have found myself in a situation where harsh words and a major argument could have likely blown up.

I choose in the main,to walk away and far from finding it bottling up, I find if I go out for a walk or take my Dog for a walk, after a short time things can seem very different.
On loads of occasions where I could have fallen out badly with someone,I have walked away, thought hard then came back,smiled and all is well.

After that,I find anyway, the original problem,or a great deal of it, starts to pale into insignificance.
So I do really applaud Jim for taking that action really,that's all I want to say.

Hi Joey!
I agree with you that on many occasions just getting away for a walk puts a different perspective on things - but not if someone is holding long term anger and the person who they are angry with just keeps ignoring it, walking away, sniping back etc. - and CERTAINLY not if you are stuck in a house with them for weeks with nowhere else to go.

[Kazanne]

Originally Posted by jet

Hi Joey!
I agree with you that on many occasions just getting away for a walk puts a different perspective on things - but not if someone is holding long term anger and the person who they are angry with just keeps ignoring it, walking away, sniping back etc. - and CERTAINLY not if you are stuck in a house with them for weeks with nowhere else to go.

Jet,you sound as though you are WILLING Jim to lose his temper,Why??? It takes a bigger man to walk away