[Mokka]

Originally Posted by the truth

no need for foul language...what he said is often true, not always but often. Far far more woman than men marry for money and status.

I stand behind my use of strong language ...

It is seldom true in normal everyday society. The majority of the world isn't living in some trumped up reality where women are some kind of barbie princesses looking for someone to pay their botox bill. ALL the women I know work as many hours or more as their husbands and bring in an equal share of the income, pay half the mortgage and almost all of the grocery bill, and take care of the lion share of household chores.

We don't just serve the bacon, we go out and raise the pig, slaughter it, bring it home and fry it in the pan.
welcome to not the 50's

[Ammi]

...so, in this scenario...why does there have to be marriage involved..and not just people choosing to have multiple sexual partners..?..

[Ammi]

...so I guess that if a wife is perfectly happy in doing all of the chores/raising their children etc and for her husband to have a mistress for the sexual part of their partnership etc...what she's really saying is..honey, my hoovering and mashing the children's potatoes is bringing it on for me ..sexually, you don't really offer anything I need or would enjoy...so, a 'mistress'...someone who didn't want the hoovering and mashed potatoes in their life but only sex, would they then, not want great sex../that would make sense...so why would they choose someone whose wife was quite happy doing her chores..because in having a mistress, he's running before he can walk really...


..obviously, that's taking out any betrayals and just assuming that this was all open and agreed by all involved....

[Natalie.]

Originally Posted by Jordan.

There's no reason someone can't have a partner, family and pleasure without having to be unfaithful

This really and a wife isn't there just to do the cooking, have children,cleaning etc

I mean if they all agreed to it then that's fine, it just isn't something I would want

[Cherie]

Originally Posted by Mokka

I stand behind my use of strong language ...

It is seldom true in normal everyday society. The majority of the world isn't living in some trumped up reality where women are some kind of barbie princesses looking for someone to pay their botox bill. ALL the women I know work as many hours or more as their husbands and bring in an equal share of the income, pay half the mortgage and almost all of the grocery bill, and take care of the lion share of household chores.

We don't just serve the bacon, we go out and raise the pig, slaughter it, bring it home and fry it in the pan.
welcome to not the 50's

Yep.

[Cherie]

Originally Posted by empire

women only marry men for one thing, money and status, but there is other things that men can't stand about there wives, they treat there husbands like little boys, and try to change them in there own way,

do you have any facts to back up this sweeping statement?

[Cherie]

In answer to the OP no I don't agree, it might sound like fun to be the mistress at least that is how you made it sound Kate, but what about if the mistress become emotionally involved and down the line resentment kicks in and all those special days he is with his wife (Christmas for instance) and family and you are on your own, and then you find out he lied about not having sex with his wife etc etc ...

[arista]

Originally Posted by Kate!

A man should have a wife for the family and a mistress for pleasure.

Discuss this :

I say yes and of the two roles I'd prefer to be the mistress. I know this will be controversial

Amazing

[arista]

Originally Posted by Niamh.

Sorry I don't share, are you saying that wives are not pleasurable? That's a bit insulting don't you think? Also, I find this topic pretty sexist

No let Kate be Happy

[arista]

Originally Posted by Jack_

The issue I have with this notion isn't the unconventionality of the relationship, but with the implication that a wife's role should be that of a homemaker and nothing else

By all means have open relationships/marriages, each to their own and all that - but the suggestion that having a wife means her only role is to cook, clean and provide emotional (and possibly financial) support to the man while he goes off and is sexually gratified elsewhere is actually quite sexist.

What about a woman having a husband for the family's financial stability and her getting off with some other blokes?

Well Spunky

[joeysteele]

No, not for me, if a mistress is required then better not to have married in the first place.
If you commit to someone then you've chosen your path and should not stray.

[Ashley.]

A very old-fashioned opinion there, Kate. I admire your bravery of sharing it, though.

I disagree though, it would probably confuse the children more than anything.

[Josy]

Decent honest married men (or even men that are in a long term relationship) tend have no need for a mistress, I think happily being 'the mistress' in the situation says a lot of that person, they have no respect for themselves and are clearly someone that happily plays that part without feeling or guilt for the other parties involved and not just the wife or other partner but for the rest of the families too including children.

Mistresses are generally kept secret for a reason too, they are used by the so called men they get involved with and then flung to the side and ignored when it comes to more important things in the mans life like his wife and children.

I'm only replying to the husband/wife scenario due to whats said in the OP but do find the topic to be slightly sexist as it's not just men who have affairs so what I said could be applied to anyone.

[Nedusa]

Does that also mean a wife can have a husband and a toy boy lover...

[Ashley.]

Originally Posted by Nedusa

Does that also mean a wife can have a husband and a toy boy lover...

Certainly not, that's BARBARIC, how could you even suggest such a thing?

[Mystic Mock]

It depends on what the Mistress looked like.

[LeatherTrumpet]

You cannot have a happy marriage if you have a mistress, you may be married but happy, respect for yourself, true to yourself?

No

You would be nothing more than a shallow cad and your life a pathetic sham

[Niamh.]

Originally Posted by the truth

no you dont

Wow you know what i think now?

[Niamh.]

Originally Posted by joeysteele

No, not for me, if a mistress is required then better not to have married in the first place.
If you commit to someone then you've chosen your path and should not stray.

Two lines and you summed it up perfectly Joey

[Kizzy]

Originally Posted by empire

women only marry men for one thing, money and status, but there is other things that men can't stand about there wives, they treat there husbands like little boys, and try to change them in there own way,

Wow... what about women who have money and status what's their excuse?

[Niamh.]

Originally Posted by LeatherTrumpet

You cannot have a happy marriage if you have a mistress, you may be married but happy, respect for yourself, true to yourself?

No

You would be nothing more than a shallow cad and your life a pathetic sham

Exactly and as much as I find the OP insulting towards women, it's also pretty insulting towards all those decent men out there in marriages/long term relationships.

[Kizzy]

The term 'mistress' is quite out moded to be applied to any modern relationship, mistresses were taken without the consent of the wife and conducted in secret.
I don't think having a long term affair could or ever would add to a marriage, the deception and the divergence of feelings for both women would be detrimental to the marriage and if discovered could end it completely.
Personally I would not like to be the mistress, should the affair last there would be the distinct risk of developing feelings for the man you are sleeping with, added to that the need for a loving family of your own where you happily provide both a happy home life and a fulfilling sex life.
There should be no question of a divergence of roles, if that were the case we could go on forever selecting mates for specific roles... I could have Mr Monday for his bedroom prowess, Mr Tuesday the electrician, Mr Wednesday the gardener...
Hang on, I'm having a rethink....jk.

[joeysteele]

Originally Posted by Niamh.

Two lines and you summed it up perfectly Joey

Thank you Niamh, unusual for me, I usually go on for pages.

[Niamh.]

Originally Posted by Kizzy

The term 'mistress' is quite out moded to be applied to any modern relationship, mistresses were taken without the consent of the wife and conducted in secret.
I don't think having a long term affair could or ever would add to a marriage, the deception and the divergence of feelings for both women would be detrimental to the marriage and if discovered could end it completely.
Personally I would not like to be the mistress, should the affair last there would be the distinct risk of developing feelings for the man you are sleeping with, added to that the need for a loving family of your own where you happily provide both a happy home life and a fulfilling sex life.
There should be no question of a divergence of roles, if that were the case we could go on forever selecting mates for specific roles... I could have Mr Monday for his bedroom prowess, Mr Tuesday the electrician, Mr Wednesday the gardener...
Hang on, I'm having a rethink....jk.

lol that's the funny part, if these mistresses ever did end up as the wife, would they be happy then for their husband to toddle off with their new Mistress while they stay at home and do the dishes?

I know I'm getting quite emotive about this subject but I have witnessed the complete and utter devastation this kind of thing causes a family, not just the couple themselves but kids and brothers and sisters etc etc it's not pretty and for someone like the OP to come along all flippantly like that and not give a **** about the trail of destruction those actions, all in the name of meaningless "fun" can cause, actually disgusts me

I spent months upon months trying to help someone very close to me pick up the pieces of their shattered life after a situation very similar to this.

[Kizzy]

Originally Posted by Niamh.

lol that's the funny part, if these mistresses ever did end up as the wife, would they be happy then for their husband to toddle off with their new Mistress while they stay at home and do the dishes?

I know I'm getting quite emotive about this subject but I have witnessed the complete and utter devastation this kind of thing causes a family, not just the couple themselves but kids and brothers and sisters etc etc it's not pretty and for someone like the OP to come along all flippantly like that and not give a **** about the trail of destruction those actions, all in the name of meaningless "fun" can cause, actually disgusts me

I spent months upon months trying to help someone very close to me pick up the pieces of their shattered life after a situation very similar to this.

Yes me too, the notion that human emotion can be taken out of a situation like this is not realistic.