[The Slim Reaper]

Write your birthday and florida man into google and you'll be rewarded with some news stories about Floridian insanity.

Mine;

Florida Man Attacked By Neighborhood Squirrel Who Has Residents On High Alert

Florida man ticketed after eating pancakes in middle of intersection

[UserSince2005]

you have to write in the US format i would assume?

[The Slim Reaper]

Originally Posted by UserSince2005

you have to write in the US format i would assume?

I just wrote it out as this, for example: March 22nd florida man

[LeatherTrumpet]

A drunk, shirtless, Pensacola resident went door-to-door in a neighborhood looking for a fight,
punched a woman in the head, and stole pizza, only ending his rampage when he ran into a fence and
passed out on top of it.

32-year-old Christopher Doyle Norman was arrested on Oct. 30, 2018, for multiple offenses including
home invasion, battery, burglary, larceny, and criminal mischief. All of these charges came from a
single drunken rampage that began when Norman kicked open the gate to a trailer park.

The Florida man then approached a woman who was sitting outside of her mobile home and punched her in
the side of the head. Not quite finished with the mobile home yet, Norman damaged the home’s ladder
and exterior door before continuing on.

When he arrived at the next neighbor’s house, he fell through the home’s open front door, which caused
one of the residents to pick up a hammer and order Norman to leave. Norman eventually left the trailer
park but not before yelling that he would “come back and burn the trailer down.” and "ill stick your
Peoples vote up your sissy remainer ass"


Once he was done with the trailer park, Norman made his way to a nearby apartment complex,
knocked on the doors and dared the residents to “fight him.” One resident understandably
shut his door in Norman’s face and locked it. This prompted the 32-year-old to ram his
shoulder into the door which consequently caused damage to the door and the frame.

Next, Norman let himself into an apartment whose door was unlocked and screamed at the
two men inside to “fight him” as well. He chased the men around a table and threw a
lamp at them when he couldn’t catch them – luckily, the lamp missed.

Most likely hungry from all of his running around, Norman grabbed a slice of pizza
from the apartment and then chased one of the men into a bedroom. The other man
tried to call 911 but Norman snatched the landline from his hand and hit him in the
back of the head with it.

The men tried to escape by running outside but Norman followed and chased them around
the apartment complex.

Norman’s drunken rampage finally came to a screeching halt when he ran into a chain fence,
knocked it down, and then passed out on top of it.

Police arrived on the scene a short while later to find an unresponsive Norman, who
appeared to be intoxicated. As they handcuffed Norman, he made vague threats against the officers.
He stated he was a Birmingham city fan and woud f UCK them up Mock style

Thankfully, the victims of Norman’s rampage sustained no major injuries. However,
the woman he punched in the head told officers that she had a brain tumor and would need to undergo a thorough medical exam.

[The Slim Reaper]

Alf's from Florida?

[MTVN]

A Miami man found one way to get a judge's attention in bond court after he was arrested for stealing a car from a high school parking lot.

As Judge Catherine M. Pooler weighed his crime, 30-year-old Calvin Lloyd Griffith twerked several times while shouting, "How you doing?" in her direction. The court burst into laughter as the judge looked on, deeply unamused. Griffith had been picked up for on suspicion of carjacking a vehicle parked at Miami Edison Senior High School.

https://www.complex.com/life/2016/08...werks-in-court

A Florida man flew too close to the sun and was banned from ordering pizza after making too many prank calls to restaurants.

Sebastian, Florida, resident Randy Riddle was accused of placing fake orders, as well as not paying for the pizza or having them delivered to the wrong address, reports the Palm Beach Post.

According to authorities, Riddle used five different phone numbers and would occasionally use a fake name, or no name at all.

He posted his $5,500 bail with one condition from the judge, Riddle must "refrain from calling any pizza establishment and/or making any harassing calls or his bond shall be revoked," the warrant affidavit states according to TC Palm.

https://m.orlandoweekly.com/Blogs/ar...er-order-pizza

[parmnion]

https://abc7chicago.com/florida-man-...sters/3438592/

[Niamh.]

Florida man throws bicycle, then other man off bridge (w/ video)



DAYTONA BEACH, Fla. (AP) — Police say a man and a woman whose bike had a flat tire were attacked as they tried to walk across the Main Street Bridge in Daytona Beach, Florida.

Police say 21-year-old Derrick Goodin began yelling about money at Stephanie Ellis and threw her bicycle off the bridge. They say Anthony Mascaro tried to intervene, but Goodin threw him “face-first” into the water, 30 feet below.

Goodin told an officer that Mascaro jumped.

But the officer, who happened to be driving across the bridge, said he witnessed what happened and recorded it on camera.


The Daytona Beach News-Journal reports that Mascaro swam to a pylon, suffering a small cut and a bloody eye.

Goodin was held without bond on aggravated battery charges and couldn’t be reached for comment.

[Cherie]

Jax’acques Antonio D. Johnson, 27, of Gainesville, was charged with sexual battery.

GAINESVILLE, Fla. — A Gainesville man was arrested Wednesday on suspicion of raping a woman in September.

Jax’acques Antonio D. Johnson, 27, was charged with sexual battery.

On. Sept. 15, Johnson, the woman and another man went out for drinks at local bars, according to a Gainesville Police Department arrest report.

Police said that, after returning to an apartment in northwest Gainesville, the woman went upstairs and fell asleep in a bedroom.

The woman awoke to Johnson raping her, according to police. Johnson ran out of the apartment and texted the man, who is listed as a witness, and said he was sorry for his actions.

“My face forever dirty ... Me being drunk made me really not think,” the texts read. “I really hope she’s ok. I’m soo sorry. Me being drunk and not thinking can ruin my entire existent [sic].”

Police tracked the text messages back to Johnson, who was arrested Wednesday afternoon.

He was booked into the Alachua County jail. His bond had not been set Thursday morning.

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[LeatherTrumpet]

The guy at the Florida Tourist Board who thought up this mega online promo idea now is worried about an unscheduled meeting with "the big boss" next week..

[Fetch The Bolt Cutters]

Florida Man Arrested After Hitting Dad with Pizza Because He Was Mad He Helped Birth Him

Jggjhj

[Fetch The Bolt Cutters]

Florida Man Threatens to Kill Man With 'Kindness,' Uses Machete Named 'Kindness'

Aafgf a scream

[Fetch The Bolt Cutters]

Florida Man Tried to Run Over Son Because He Didn't Want to Take a Bath

[Twosugars]

Florida man offered to pay officer with hamburger for oral sex, police say

[Fetch The Bolt Cutters]

Originally Posted by Twosugars

Florida man offered to pay officer with hamburger for oral sex, police say

This is hot

[LeatherTrumpet]

scum going for the law enforcement officers weak spot

[Glenn.]

Florida man attacked by a ‘crazy squirrel’ gone nuts. And it was raised by a neighbor

[Jason.]

Florida Man Killed Ex-Girlfriend While Trying to ‘Get Rid of the Devil'

[JerseyWins]

Florida air is a helluva drug