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20-06-2020, 12:38 PM | #1 | ||
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Senior Member
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I've been thinking about this for a while.
I'll set a hypothetical scene. You have a friend Jen who is in her 20's and she absolutely hates the elderly for no reason, you've heard her complain to other friends about old people who are customers at her place of work and says nasty things about them just because of their age. Would you feel like it's your place to inform her or educate her about that being wrong or do you feel like it's not your problem and as long as it doesn't affect you and as long they're a loyal friend it doesn't matter?
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20-06-2020, 12:39 PM | #2 | ||
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I used to feel like it was nothing to do with me but now I can't look past it, I am quite vocal about telling my friends what standards I have for them because I'd want them to do the same for me if I was being ignorant. Does that make sense?
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20-06-2020, 12:41 PM | #3 | |||
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This Witch doesn't burn
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Personally I would bin Jen as she sounds very ignorant, I wouldn't even bother to try and educate as its like the brain mass couldn't cope! would just be a waste of your precious time
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20-06-2020, 12:41 PM | #4 | |||
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Senior Member
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Its Typical of some young folks.
She will grow out of it. |
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20-06-2020, 12:42 PM | #5 | ||
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Senior Member
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It's not a real story, Arista.
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20-06-2020, 12:43 PM | #6 | ||
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Senior Member
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What if you had been friends for a long time and just recently found out she felt that way about certain people for things they can't control? Would you say anything or just distance yourself?
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20-06-2020, 12:43 PM | #7 | |||
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This Witch doesn't burn
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Jen will certainly grow into it...old that is
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'put a bit of lippy on and run a brush through your hair, we are alcoholics, not savages' |
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20-06-2020, 12:44 PM | #8 | |||
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Oh no, I'm English
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You're not responsible for them, but I think it's ok to challenge them on any positions they hold that you disagree with.
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20-06-2020, 12:44 PM | #9 | ||
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Senior Member
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The ageism is just an example, it also applies to people who hate overweight people, people who are racist etc..
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20-06-2020, 12:45 PM | #10 | |||
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This Witch doesn't burn
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You are not responsible for other people and how they think, if it were me it would depend, if it made me super uncomfortable I would distance, if I could live with it and just put it down to Jen being dim, I would carry on but pull her on it if it began to grate on me
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20-06-2020, 12:46 PM | #11 | ||
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Senior Member
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So if you challenge them on it and they refuse to listen but just don't mention the topic to you, could you still call them a friend?
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20-06-2020, 12:47 PM | #12 | |||
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Senior Member
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Nope. I actually quite like when friends have a different opinion to me it leads to an interesting discussion but most of the time we all thik alike
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20-06-2020, 12:48 PM | #13 | |||
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This Witch doesn't burn
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I would say yes as they must have some other qualities that contributed to the friendship in the first place, though sometimes you outgrow people and if you have outgrown then I would move on
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20-06-2020, 12:49 PM | #14 | |||
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Quand il pleut, il pleut
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...I’m sure that Jen must have some lovely aspects to her character as well, hence the friendship felt toward her...I think trying to persuade her of the lovely aspects of older people that she’s somehow not able to see atm, would be the thing for me...I know some great older people who I think Jen would adore...so maybe I could engineer a ...(...socially distanced...)....meet for the day and I’m sure Jen’s mindset might be blown away a bit...
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20-06-2020, 12:50 PM | #15 | |||
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another vice
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No, I couldn't care less what anybody's views are if I get on with them
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20-06-2020, 12:51 PM | #16 | |||
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Oh no, I'm English
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Quote:
I'd distance myself rather than "break up" as friends though.
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20-06-2020, 12:52 PM | #17 | ||
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Senior Member
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Quote:
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20-06-2020, 12:53 PM | #18 | |||
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Senior Member
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20-06-2020, 12:54 PM | #19 | ||
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Senior Member
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That's not the point, I am talking about ANY kind of hate.
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20-06-2020, 01:02 PM | #20 | |||
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This Witch doesn't burn
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Lets face it they are a lot of vile pigs in the world, but we have to feel pity for them at times wallowing in their ignorance
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20-06-2020, 01:04 PM | #21 | ||
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Banned
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Good friends will tell you the truth and pull you up when you go wrong. Bad friends are yes men.
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20-06-2020, 01:05 PM | #22 | ||
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Senior Member
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Yeah, I expect my friends to call me out if I take something too far and I'd do the same with them.
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20-06-2020, 01:06 PM | #23 | |||
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another vice
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20-06-2020, 01:07 PM | #24 | ||
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Senior Member
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How can hating a certain group of the population be an opinion?
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20-06-2020, 01:08 PM | #25 | |||
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This Witch doesn't burn
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People can also be weak and just go along with a crowd just to be popular and express things they think others wish to hear, you have to weigh up all the possibilities ie vile pig v weak personality
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