[Crimson Dynamo]

Yes its a busllsh1t line that a lot of women pull out (there have been studies so im not being sexist, honest) and naturally it means something entirely different as it does not actually mean anything but what do you think that 9/10 it actually means?

Im talking within a marriage or a long term relationship

[Niamh.]

I have no doubt men are guilty of using this line too

To me it would mean that the person is not happy in the relationship and it's either the first step to them breaking it off or they really are confused and need time to decide what they want to do?

I think if by "some space" they mean they want to go on a break ala Ross geller style, I'd be telling them take it all the space they need but don't come back

[Crimson Dynamo]

Originally Posted by Niamh.

I have no doubt men are guilty of using this line too

To me it would mean that the person is not happy in the relationship and it's either the first step to them breaking it off or they really are confused and need time to decide what they want to do?

I think if by "some space" they mean they want to go on a break ala Ross geller style, I'd be telling them take it all the space they need but don't come back

[Maru]

Originally Posted by Niamh.

I have no doubt men are guilty of using this line too

To me it would mean that the person is not happy in the relationship and it's either the first step to them breaking it off or they really are confused and need time to decide what they want to do?

I think if by "some space" they mean they want to go on a break ala Ross geller style, I'd be telling them take it all the space they need but don't come back

I agree with this generally... though I think a lot of times, people are actually sure they know what's best, but they don't want to lose out on something they invested in, so they ask for space to get a clearer picture of what they want... (usually out of good intentions but it's an act of denial).

I also notice in codependent relationships or relationships where there is smothering/controlling behavior going on... the weaker of the two sometimes asks for space, and then they don't know what to do with the freedom and are more emotionally vulnerable (relatively speaking here)... and may end up having a little bit of fun on the side... funny enough, the stronger link (usually the one doing the smothering) usually takes responsibility for "fixing it", forgives them and they go back... or it falls apart at the seams... though they don't usually last... I've seen that happen with friends whose lives are all sorts of stupidly complicated because they don't know understand the point of boundaries and do lots of "fixing" to each other instead of dealing with their issues...

Though in general I don't think there is anything wrong with asking for space. If you're otherwise good with each other, but the other person actually does need space to assess their actual priorities, it can really strengthen a relationship and make a good foundation for a long-term relationship (or marriage). I gave my husband 7 years to change his mind before we finally tied the knot.

[caprimint]

Personally I would never say this - I'd either carry on or split up...so what that says to me is that perhaps the person isn't 100% certain of whether they want to be together and wants to see how it feels to be away from them for a while, or maybe wants to break it off but doesn't want to let them down. Bit of a cop-out though really.

[Josy]

Its not you its me

[Niamh.]

Originally Posted by Josy

Its not you its me

[Mokka]

Originally Posted by Josy

Its not you its me

It's not me... it's you

[thesheriff443]

Originally Posted by Josy

Its not you its me

I agree

[Crimson Dynamo]

My pal its now week 6 and she is moving into a cottage of her boss now

thats a lot of space

[Vicky.]

To me it means stop ****ing smothering me and I need some time to myself. But I am rather more...to the point than some other people.

Tut at the women thing though. You are morphing into thememberwhoshallnotbenamed.

[Crimson Dynamo]

Originally Posted by Vicky.

To me it means stop ****ing smothering me and I need some time to myself. But I am rather more...to the point than some other people.

Tut at the women thing though. You are morphing into thememberwhoshallnotbenamed.

incorrect, its science

Dr. Orbuch recently analyzed one year of data from her study and found more wives than husbands (31% versus 26%) reported not having enough space. She believes this is because women often have less time to themselves than men. Even when women have jobs outside the home, they still are typically the primary caregivers of children or aging parents. And because they also tend to have more friends than men, they often have more social obligations.

http://jezebel.com/5919869/if-you-ne...-need-my-space

[Niamh.]

Originally Posted by LeatherTrumpet

incorrect, its science

Dr. Orbuch recently analyzed one year of data from her study and found more wives than husbands (31% versus 26%) reported not having enough space. She believes this is because women often have less time to themselves than men. Even when women have jobs outside the home, they still are typically the primary caregivers of children or aging parents. And because they also tend to have more friends than men, they often have more social obligations.

http://jezebel.com/5919869/if-you-ne...-need-my-space

So yes men say it alot too


But there's a difference between saying you want some space as in a day to yourself or whatever than you want space as in time away from your relationship

[Crimson Dynamo]

Originally Posted by Niamh.

So yes men say it alot too


But there's a difference between saying you want some space as in a day to yourself or whatever than you want space as in time away from your relationship

Because it is so ambiguous its a avoidance line to shirk the real reasons i feel

[Paula D]

Originally Posted by LeatherTrumpet

incorrect, its science

Dr. Orbuch recently analyzed one year of data from her study and found more wives than husbands (31% versus 26%) reported not having enough space. She believes this is because women often have less time to themselves than men. Even when women have jobs outside the home, they still are typically the primary caregivers of children or aging parents. And because they also tend to have more friends than men, they often have more social obligations.

http://jezebel.com/5919869/if-you-ne...-need-my-space

That's wardrobe space they meant!!

[caprimint]

Yeah, guys 100% say this kind of thing just as much as women.

[caprimint]

Not you bringing the statistics out

Bet it took you all day looking it up to create the thread

[Vicky.]

The name of that site, to prove this...I find really amusing

[Crimson Dynamo]

Originally Posted by Vicky.

The name of that site, to prove this...I find really amusing

I know, i saw it

[Crimson Dynamo]

like "I need to find myself" and other dreadful crap like that

[Ashley.]

Originally Posted by LeatherTrumpet

im not being sexist

So why did you feel the need to specify a certain gender, then? Seems to be a recurring theme with you, LT.

[Crimson Dynamo]

Originally Posted by Ashley.

So why did you feel the need to specify a certain gender, then? Seems to be a recurring theme with you, LT.

because the science says more women say it


as the seeker of truth and justice I feel I have to specify what the statistics tell me

[Vicky.]

Is it kinder to say...'I am shagging my boss, goodbye' or to dress it up as something different. Which would you prefer?

Personally I would prefer the first, and would say the first if it was true. But some people don't like being 'cruel' if another option is available

[Niamh.]

Originally Posted by Vicky.

Is it kinder to say...'I am shagging my boss, goodbye' or to dress it up as something different. Which would you prefer?

Personally I would prefer the first, and would say the first if it was true. But some people don't like being 'cruel' if another option is available

Well, preferably something in between those two

[smudgie]

Depends on what you mean by space.
I like my own bed space, bedroom space even.
I also like my own space as in not having to think of someone else before myself 100% of the time. Nothing better than just sitting in your own space every now and then.
Can't be doing with living in each other's pockets just because you are a couple.
But all the above can be done within a relationship, splitting up and having space might be an excuse for some, but it could also make a couple appreciate each other more