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Old 27-09-2013, 01:50 AM #26
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How do you get a blonde lesbian to climb the wall?

Spoiler:

Show her the crack in the ceiling.

Last edited by Marsh.; 27-09-2013 at 01:50 AM.
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Old 27-09-2013, 01:51 AM #27
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Chuck View Post
my life
Oh, Chuck.
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Anyway there's an explanation and I don't really appreciate your tone. It's very aggressive so I'm going to close this, sorry for killing the internet mate
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Here iv made a wee paper plane


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Old 27-09-2013, 02:26 AM #28
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What do you call a man with a spade on his head?

Dug

What do you call a man with a seagull on his head?

Cliff

A midget walks into a bar, without looking he stands on a piece of sh*t lying on the floor, slides a few yards and falls on his arse. He gets up, shakes himself down and goes to the bar to order a drink.

10 minutes later a giant walks into the bar. The same thing happens, he trods right in the sh*t, slides and falls right on his arse. The midget yells out "hey I just did that!" And the giant killed him.

Last edited by Kyle; 27-09-2013 at 02:29 AM.
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Old 27-09-2013, 02:16 PM #29
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Hang a mirror on it.
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Old 27-09-2013, 02:40 PM #30
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Simple Minds View Post
What do you call a man with a spade on his head?

Dug

What do you call a man with a seagull on his head?

Cliff

A midget walks into a bar, without looking he stands on a piece of sh*t lying on the floor, slides a few yards and falls on his arse. He gets up, shakes himself down and goes to the bar to order a drink.

10 minutes later a giant walks into the bar. The same thing happens, he trods right in the sh*t, slides and falls right on his arse. The midget yells out "hey I just did that!" And the giant killed him.
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Old 27-09-2013, 04:22 PM #31
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What does a nosy pepper do? Get jalapeno business!

What language does an Israeli barista speak? Teabrew! (I made this one up!)

I feel like a pack of batteries, I'm never included in anything
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Old 27-09-2013, 04:27 PM #32
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A horse walks into a bar.. The batman says "why the long face?"

How do you make anti-freeze?
Hide her nightie

How do you make a sausage roll?
Give it a shove
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Old 27-09-2013, 04:29 PM #33
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lee. View Post
How do you make anti-freeze?
Hide her nightie

How do you make a sausage roll?
Give it a shove
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Old 27-09-2013, 04:35 PM #34
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Why did you omit my horse joke Marc?
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Old 27-09-2013, 04:38 PM #35
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Yes because it was ****ing rubbish.

But you saved yourself with the last two
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Old 27-09-2013, 04:51 PM #36
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What do you give to a sick budgie?
Spoiler:

Tweetment


What's ah ah ah Bisto?
Spoiler:

Laughing stock


I went to a zoo the other day, and all they had there was a dog.
Spoiler:

Shih tzu


What do you call a woman with two dicks?
Spoiler:

N-Dubz


What does a gynocologist and a pizza delivery guy have in common?
Spoiler:

They can both smell it, but they can't taste it


What's the difference between a chav girl and a chav boy?
Spoiler:

The chav girl has a higher sperm count
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Old 27-09-2013, 05:01 PM #37
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lee. View Post
.. Douglas!! Lolololololololx2
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lee. View Post
What do you call a man without a spade in his head ??
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lee. View Post
What do you call a man watch a spade in his head?....

..
Spoiler:

doug
Ripped off Sam's jokes
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Old 27-09-2013, 05:03 PM #38
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Who's Sam??
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Old 27-09-2013, 05:04 PM #39
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What do you call a wierdo?

KYLE.
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And if not, maybe try your hand at being an author for Mills & Boon.
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Old 27-09-2013, 05:05 PM #40
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Sam from BB14 said both of those jokes on the highlights to Gina lol

Last edited by MeMyselfAndI; 27-09-2013 at 05:05 PM.
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Old 27-09-2013, 05:06 PM #41
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Sam from BB14 said both of those jokes on the highlights to Gina lol
Well he must have stolen them fro me
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Old 27-09-2013, 05:06 PM #42
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What do you call a wierdo?

KYLE.
As in Jeremy?
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Old 27-09-2013, 05:06 PM #43
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Quote:
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As in Jeremy?
No, hes Simple Minds
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And if not, maybe try your hand at being an author for Mills & Boon.
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Old 27-09-2013, 05:09 PM #44
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What do you call a woman with one leg?
Spoiler:

Eileen


What do you call a woman whose leg wobbles when she walks
Spoiler:

Daphne
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Old 27-09-2013, 05:11 PM #45
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I went to the doctor the other day, I said I've broke my leg in three places. He said, 'Don't go to those places.'

the great Tommy C
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Old 27-09-2013, 05:54 PM #46
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Saw an old boy out on his tractor today warning that the end of the world was coming. It was Farmer Geddon
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Old 27-09-2013, 05:58 PM #47
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Oh dear
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Old 27-09-2013, 05:59 PM #48
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amazing MTVN
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Old 27-09-2013, 06:02 PM #49
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No, hes Simple Minds
Your obsessed with me Mitch, just confess you want my babies and we can pretend this never happened!
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Old 27-09-2013, 06:05 PM #50
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An English mod, an Irish mod and a Scottish mod walked into a bar.....





....that must have hurt.
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