[Niamh.]

Originally Posted by caprimint

It can go either way I think... Maybe some people genuinely don't care and will continue to live the lifestyle of eating all day long, but with some it might really spark something in their mind to actually do something about it. Hearing it from someone else is very different from knowing it in your own mind.

I disagree with that, a person who is over weight knows that other people see that too, being reminded of it is just nasty

[Cherie]

Originally Posted by caprimint

It can go either way I think... Maybe some people genuinely don't care and will continue to live the lifestyle of eating all day long, but with some it might really spark something in their mind to actually do something about it. Hearing it from someone else is very different from knowing it in your own mind.

So you feel its okay to pass comment on someone else's life who you know nothing about because they are not the size you would like them to be?

[Alf]

Fat shaming is the best treatment for obesity.

[Kazanne]

Well if there were say, a couple of people one black one white wearing a uniform ,with the same name,in that same scenario how would you deal with that one? lol,sometimes I think you have to say it like it is but people don't like to be called fat,so I think using a less offensive word would be better,but if someone is fat,they are fat,no getting around it and most times by their own doing.I would probably say the bigger one.

[Underscore]

No because it's rude and you should have manners

[Brillopad]

Originally Posted by Niamh.

I don't think it's ignored, I mean look at all the ads on TV for slimming world and weight watchers etc, you go on FB and there's always people advertising as personal trainers and people showing before and after pictures etc. That's all positive and encouraging and will get more people motivated. Calling someone the fat one isn't exactly going to inspire them to get on the training gear and go for a run, it's more likely to make them feel like s**t and make them want to hide away

Thing is there is a name for that - wallowing - and nothing positive ever comes from it.

As I am getting older and not always eating the healthiest as knackered when I get home from work - it is easy to opt for convenient foods with a resulting weight gain. I used to worry I was too thin - seems silly now. Anyway now I am back from my holiday I plan to go to the gym, something I would never have previously considered, as it is now so accesible for all these days and I have no reservations about it. I am less concerned about what anyone else may think and more focused on my health and having more energy. People need to stop wallowing in my opinion as it achieves nothing and only holds people back.

Don’t get me wrong - I am not advocating being openly rude to people but people need to get over themselves and think bigger.

[Cherie]

Originally Posted by Brillopad

Thing is there is a name for that - wallowing - and nothing positive ever comes from it.

As I am getting older and not always eating the healthiest as knackered when I get home from work - it is easy to opt for convenient foods with a resulting weight gain. I used to worry I was too thin - seems silly now. Anyway now I am back from my holiday I plan to go to the gym, something I would never have previously considered, as it is now so accesible for all these days and I have no reservations about it. I am less concerned about what anyone else may think and more focused on my health and having more energy. People need to stop wallowing in my opinion as it achieves nothing and only holds people back.

Don’t get me wrong - I am not advocating being openly rude to people but people need to get over themselves and think bigger.

Each individuals lifestyle is their own choice though, some people are happy in their own skin and if they are not seriously obese to the point where they are at risk of death whose business is it, anymore than people who drink too much or smoke too much, it smacks of nanny state and interfering in peoples life's, what right does someone in a workplace have to tell someone else how to live their lives, I really don't get it.

[smudgie]

The lady in the red top would suffice.

[Crimson Dynamo]

Originally Posted by smudgie

The lady in the red top would suffice.

they cant see them at the mo and dont know what the fat lady is wearing

[user104658]

It's not acceptable for obvious reasons. On the other hand, if it's being used as an identifier in a private conversation between two people out of earshot of anyone else, then I don't think it particularly matters.

E.g. I have two young new-starts at the moment. Also in my shop there are two women, one is 62 the other just turned 40. If I was working with one of the young guys and he did something incorrectly and said that one of them told him to do it that way, and he couldn't remember their names and said "The older one"... I wouldn't think that was a problem.

... If the next day he then started referring to her as "the old one" to her face, that WOULD be a problem.

[Crimson Dynamo]

Most people are fat because of their parents and their lifestyle

show me a fat kid at school and 99/100 their parents are fat too would be my estimate

[Brillopad]

Originally Posted by Cherie

Each individuals lifestyle is their own choice though, some people are happy in their own skin and if they are not seriously obese to the point where they are at risk of death whose business is it, anymore than people who drink too much or smoke too much, it smacks of nanny state and interfering in peoples life's, what right does someone in a workplace have to tell someone else how to live their lives, I really don't get it.

No right to interfere and no right to ridicule. Personally I was speaking more from a health point of view for some and people not getting too bogged down with what others think which can be an easy thing to do. At the end of the day people need to do what’s right for them.

[caprimint]

Originally Posted by Niamh.

I disagree with that, a person who is over weight knows that other people see that too, being reminded of it is just nasty

But my point is that they don't actually hear it so maybe they just try not to think about it too much or something.

Originally Posted by Cherie

So you feel its okay to pass comment on someone else's life who you know nothing about because they are not the size you would like them to be?

I don't personally care what size anyone is. It's simply a way of describing someone. Nobody has a problem with 'the skinny one' when that can be just as much of an offensive term as well.

[JerseyWins]

Originally Posted by Cal.

It’s just easier to identify someone in a conversation by saying ‘the fat one’ ‘the gay one’ ‘the black one’ like I would never say it to the person but I think it’s harmless.

This

I think it should still be avoided but if you don't know someone's name and really need a way to explain who you're talking about in that moment, I don't think it's that big of a deal to say "the fat one" etc. etc. if it's not meant maliciously.

I would go to hair color or something else first though unless that's not enough to explain them clearly.

[montblanc]

Originally Posted by LeatherTrumpet

indeed Jesy is a fat lady due to lifestyle choices.

hmm

[Crimson Dynamo]

Originally Posted by montblanc

hmm

no, its a her

[Tozzie]

Originally Posted by Oliver_W

Sure it's acceptable. If Tom needs to know which one to speak to, gotta be specific!

If she didn't want to be called fat, she should eat less.

I'm guessing you don't have a weight problem. If it were that easy to lose weight why do we have so many overweight and obese people in this country. No one wants to be fat or overweight, there are many reasons why someone may be fat including losing themselves in grief, emotional problems, thyroid problems, unable to exercise due to disability, certain drugs. Try to be a bit more understanding Oliver, no one would choose to be overweight I don't think, I've been there myself through grief gaining a tremendous amount of weight and its horrible, luckily I am now losing the weight gained but its bloody hard I'll tell you.

[Tozzie]

I don't like the word fat really preferring the bigger lady, dunno why really, it just seems a horrible term regarding someones weight, so I guess I don't think it is acceptable, find a kinder word

[ethanjames]

at first if u just want to identify somebody sure but if u carry on that's just not right somebodys size shouldn't be their identification

[Crimson Dynamo]

Originally Posted by Tozzie

I'm guessing you don't have a weight problem. If it were that easy to lose weight why do we have so many overweight and obese people in this country. No one wants to be fat or overweight, there are many reasons why someone may be fat including losing themselves in grief, emotional problems, thyroid problems, unable to exercise due to disability, certain drugs. Try to be a bit more understanding Oliver, no one would choose to be overweight I don't think, I've been there myself through grief gaining a tremendous amount of weight and its horrible, luckily I am now losing the weight gained but its bloody hard I'll tell you.

"losing themselves in grief, emotional problems, thyroid problems, unable to exercise due to disability, certain drugs. "

that would be the 1% now wouldnt it?

its the 99% we are discussing

[user104658]

Originally Posted by LeatherTrumpet

"losing themselves in grief, emotional problems, thyroid problems, unable to exercise due to disability, certain drugs. "

that would be the 1% now wouldnt it?

its the 99% we are discussing

I'd say it's far more than 1% of (significantly) overweight people who have emotional problems of some kind d or depression. A poor lifestyle can easily lead people to being a BIT overweight, carrying some extra pounds / a belly etc. But if we're talking actual obesity... It's very often a reward-cycle addiction and that usually has attached emotional and personal issues. And then it's like any other vice, really. There's not much point tackling the symptoms (being fat) until the cause has been identified and dealt with. A *lot* of overweight people manage to lose the weight when they have chronic dieting / exercise to turn their focus to, and then as soon as they reach the desired weight and its back to normal existence, the weight just goes back on because the underlying problem is still there.

[Matthew.]

Originally Posted by Oliver_W

Sure it's acceptable. If Tom needs to know which one to speak to, gotta be specific!

If she didn't want to be called fat, she should eat less.

alright katie hopkins settle

[Tozzie]

Originally Posted by Toy Soldier

I'd say it's far more than 1% of (significantly) overweight people who have emotional problems of some kind d or depression. A poor lifestyle can easily lead people to being a BIT overweight, carrying some extra pounds / a belly etc. But if we're talking actual obesity... It's very often a reward-cycle addiction and that usually has attached emotional and personal issues. And then it's like any other vice, really. There's not much point tackling the symptoms (being fat) until the cause has been identified and dealt with. A *lot* of overweight people manage to lose the weight when they have chronic dieting / exercise to turn their focus to, and then as soon as they reach the desired weight and its back to normal existence, the weight just goes back on because the underlying problem is still there.

Excellent post

[Denver]

No fats or fems

[Matthew.]

i have experience of being called “the fat one” in high school. it was not nice, so don’t call people fat. if describing their weight is completely necessary, there are other words than fat.