[Ninastar]

Originally Posted by GypsyGoth

It was about three years ago, and although I did it to please someone else, looking back I really should have known better.



It's for your own good.

if you say so

[Z]

I find it a bit of a ridiculous assumption that bullies are bullying someone because they're insecure - if anything bullying behaviour happens because people want to gain the approval of someone else. A variety of examples: guys being confrontational towards guys they see as threats to the relationship they're trying to build with a woman they want to impress; an inherent intolerance for a specific aspect of a person's personality - whether it be an aspect of their appearance, gender, sexual preference, race, religion et cetera; one work colleague demeaning another because they're trying to look like a better employee in the eyes of a manager...

I could go on inventing hypothetical (but very real) examples.

I think, unfortunately, bullying is something that most of us have to go through. The severity of bullying is subject to the bully, the victim and the observer's perspective as well - a bully might beat a victim to a pulp and justify it in their mind because they "deserved it"; on the other hand a bully might say something derogatory about a victim's appearance in a passing remark and not think any more of it - but the victim is absolutely in pieces over the comment and sees it as bullying.

I was bullied to an extent during my early school years for my appearance (glasses, fat) but, luckily for me, it was only the occasional comment which I managed to rise above by not taking them seriously, playing along to some extent and generally making it impossible for them to find a flaw in my response to pick away at. The worst that happened to me was somebody hid my P.E. bag once, found it a few days later after searching the school with my year head. I got accused of bullying a girl in my year who was, to put it politely, extremely sensitive and craved attention - she accused a lot of people of bullying her and eventually stopped getting taken seriously because of her constant complaining.

I don't think there's any easy way to overcome bullying. People will be cruel if they want to be cruel. A lot of people are mean in their early teens but grow out of it and tend to feel bad for what they did in their younger years, but some people never grow out of that mentality and will always be bullies...

[Shaun]

Originally Posted by Zee

I find it a bit of a ridiculous assumption that bullies are bullying someone because they're insecure - if anything bullying behaviour happens because people want to gain the approval of someone else. A variety of examples: guys being confrontational towards guys they see as threats to the relationship they're trying to build with a woman they want to impress; an inherent intolerance for a specific aspect of a person's personality - whether it be an aspect of their appearance, gender, sexual preference, race, religion et cetera; one work colleague demeaning another because they're trying to look like a better employee in the eyes of a manager...

I could go on inventing hypothetical (but very real) examples.

I think, unfortunately, bullying is something that most of us have to go through. The severity of bullying is subject to the bully, the victim and the observer's perspective as well - a bully might beat a victim to a pulp and justify it in their mind because they "deserved it"; on the other hand a bully might say something derogatory about a victim's appearance in a passing remark and not think any more of it - but the victim is absolutely in pieces over the comment and sees it as bullying.

I was bullied to an extent during my early school years for my appearance (glasses, fat) but, luckily for me, it was only the occasional comment which I managed to rise above by not taking them seriously, playing along to some extent and generally making it impossible for them to find a flaw in my response to pick away at. The worst that happened to me was somebody hid my P.E. bag once, found it a few days later after searching the school with my year head. I got accused of bullying a girl in my year who was, to put it politely, extremely sensitive and craved attention - she accused a lot of people of bullying her and eventually stopped getting taken seriously because of her constant complaining.

I don't think there's any easy way to overcome bullying. People will be cruel if they want to be cruel. A lot of people are mean in their early teens but grow out of it and tend to feel bad for what they did in their younger years, but some people never grow out of that mentality and will always be bullies...

All of the things I've bolded ARE examples of insecurity

[Benjamin]

Originally Posted by Shaun

All of the things I've bolded ARE examples of insecurity

You saved me a job.

[Z]

Originally Posted by Shaun

All of the things I've bolded ARE examples of insecurity

I should have made myself clearer; I don't think bullies sit and think "god I feel so insecure - I'm going to go pick on someone to make me feel better", but you are of course right, those are all examples of insecurity .

EDIT: I think a lot of bullying comes down to asserting a status or position in some social context; which to me is slightly different to insecurity.

[Mystic Mock]

ive been bullied at least 3 times and 2 of them tried to kill me and the other one i punched him in the face,anyway bullies are sad and pathetic.

[Angus]

I have to say that I was never bullied because I would thump anyone who thumped me, which goes to prove the point that the only way to fight fire is with fire. I never went looking for trouble, but I always stood my ground, even if I was terrified inside

I told my sons,both of whom were bullied in primary school for a short while, that if a bully hit them, hit them back twice as hard (preferably out of sight of any meddling teacher who might get hold of the wrong end of the stick) - not conventional, politically correct advice, but extremely effective in that the bullying ceased instantly. In other words, don't take any sh*t from anyone. I should add that this advice was given to them by me after the school failed to do anything to stop it - in fact telling my sons to stay away from their bullies, rather than compelling the bullies to stay away from my sons!

[Princess]

Bullies would probably be one of the things I hate most in life. I was bullied in both primary and secondary,for being little and for being weird or different or whatever else. I was an easy target really. They're assholes really,they just take their issues out on someone who doesn't deserve it.

[MTVN]

Some of these stories are quite sad actually

I've been really lucky to never have been bullied, the worst I've had is the odd bit of name-calling and even then it's more in jest than anything. I really cant stand bullies though, and I particularly hate seeing people getting bullied.

It's quite weird how acceptable bullying is really, "mild" bullying anyway. I was probably guilty of it myself, when our friend group used to wind up another bunch of kids. I always thought of it as just a bit of fun, and it was mainly minor stuff, but it went too far sometimes, and I suddenly had a moment of realisation that I was being a bit of a bully. I stopped after that, and I'm on quite good terms with the people I used to do it to.

[Miss Ivy Balls]

It is disgusting.

And to think it happens on a forum too.

Happens everywhere really. Except the people who do it on forums haven't got the balls to say it to my face. They know they can get away with it.

I was bullied, people calling me gay, fat, feminine, sausage fingers...etc etc.

You name it. People taking the piss out of my ears, my hair colour, the way I speak.

I just got isolated so had no friends at school for like 2 years. I'd just spend my break-times in the boys' toilets with the door closed hoping no one would come in. Then at lunchtimes I'd go in the ICT room.

I was more bothered about people thinking I didn't have friends, and I didn't, but I hated the looks I'd get as I walked round school on my own trying to cling on to people like I was part of their clang.

I even got bullied from a lad who was a couple of years younger than me once. I had to stop myself from being violent towards him. Rise above it. There were these two girls who were really nasty as well.

Lots of people bullied me, though, so it is hard to pin point.

It didn't stop when I left school into full time work either. I got called the green giant and all sorts of stuff.

Some people can stick up for themselves, but I'm not like that. I will just bottle it all up inside.

Patrick, that is very sad. PM me if you ever need to. You have my msn, but I'm sure you blocked me.

[Captain.Remy]

Yeah I was back in the day, I was about 10. I was fat and all but after a big diet, I went back and I got my sweet revenge. I didn't hurt them, I've enjoyed watching them failing their studies and life right in front of me yet some had the balls to ask me for help.

Payback is a bitch, you should have known I was the wrong person to fuck with.
To make it clear, they threw everything at me but I threw one thing back, bleach, and they all ran like roaches because when Remy tells you to shut the fuck up, you'd better shut the fuck up or you're going to get fucked. They didn't see that coming and also the fact I became much more popular than them.

At the end of the day, I don't care about them anymore, I run my thing, I'm doing good, they're not and that's it, I'm done with them.

[_Seth]

Originally Posted by Patrick

the worst part is the teachers SEE it going on with their very eyes and do ****** all about it.

OMG that is so true. Teachers should specifically look out for it. I used to hate it when the teacher would leave the room and mayhem would start.

Bullies are ****ing idiots, it's all about being insecure and fun going too far.

I've never been bullied badly. When I have, it's been by girls, and for someone if someone was born with tits and a fadge, you can't hit them. But that bullsh!t sexism didn't stop me once.

[Mystic Mock]

Originally Posted by Phlip

OMG that is so true. Teachers should specifically look out for it. I used to hate it when the teacher would leave the room and mayhem would start.

Bullies are ****ing idiots, it's all about being insecure and fun going too far.

I've never been bullied badly. When I have, it's been by girls, and for someone if someone was born with tits and a fadge, you can't hit them. But that bullsh!t sexism didn't stop me once.

oh i hit 3 girls who were bullying me once ( they were in year 6 while i was in year 2) and i lost in the end because all 3 of them launched themselfs at me,but i sure did give them a fight.

[Novo]

Originally Posted by jedward fever

oh i hit 3 girls who were bullying me once ( they were in year 6 while i was in year 2) and i lost in the end because all 3 of them launched themselfs at me,but i sure did give them a fight.

Can't believe that at all to be honest... Year 2 you are about 6/7? year 6 you are about 10?

[Mystic Mock]

Originally Posted by Novo

Can't believe that at all to be honest... Year 2 you are about 6/7? year 6 you are about 10?

its true they attacked me when i was in year 2,they were cowardly bastards aswell as they never took me on one on one.

[Patrick]

Thanks Thomas.

And I didn't block you lol I just never come on anymore

Originally Posted by Phlip

I've never been bullied badly. When I have, it's been by girls, and for someone if someone was born with tits and a fadge, you can't hit them. But that bullsh!t sexism didn't stop me once.

I know right!

Today when the chavs were throwing sh*t at me, I realised the majority of them were girls.

And I was like 'What The ******?'
And in school, one time just before I was in quite a big fight, this girl kept getting all up in my face and I was like 'Who the ****** are you love?'

And she actually hit me, I mean why is it girls can hit lads but if we do it, you're branded a woman beater and everyone hates you

I've never hit a girl, nor do I condone in but I agree, I mean it's not right they get away with walking all over boys who did nothing to them and we can't even stand up to them in a physical way because it's seemed as being horrible.

[Mystic Mock]

Originally Posted by Patrick

Thanks Thomas.

And I didn't block you lol I just never come on anymore




I know right!

Today when the chavs were throwing sh*t at me, I realised the majority of them were girls.

And I was like 'What The ******?'
And in school, one time just before I was in quite a big fight, this girl kept getting all up in my face and I was like 'Who the ****** are you love?'

And she actually hit me, I mean why is it girls can hit lads but if we do it, you're branded a woman beater and everyone hates you

I've never hit a girl, nor do I condone in but I agree, I mean it's not right they get away with walking all over boys who did nothing to them and we can't even stand up to them in a physical way because it's seemed as being horrible.

i think its unfair aswell,if boys cant hit girls then girls shouldnt be able to hit boys its as simple as that.

[Jack_]

I personally think it's disgusting and it baffles me as to why some people do it, enjoy doing it, or don't seem to realise the full extent of the psychological damage they're doing. When you consider that extreme, prolonged bullying can lead to a victim committing suicide - I find it odd that bullies don't take a step back and realise 'woah, we need to stop here'. It's actually quite disturbing.

I wouldn't say I've ever been properly bullied, I have had the odd 'dirty look' from the so-called 'popular kids', you know the one where they 'look down' on you - basically it's their way of making themselves feel better about themselves - cause at the end of the day they're probably the ones who go home and cry about their insecurities in front of the mirror. And that's the most pleasing thing about bullies - knowing that they're more often than not the ones with the problems and that they are too weak, ignorant and pathetic to sort themselves out so instead they have to resort to picking on the weaker in order to strengthen their self-confidence and massage their ego.

I often take a step back in situations [on this forum as well] and re-evaluate what I'm about to say, saying, or about to do/doing...because I worry whether it's crossing the line over into bullying. I would hate to be classed as a bully, or have people insinuate that I'm a bully - because that's the last thing I am. But there is a line between joking around and patronising someone [which, I'll admit - I do] and then being a bully. It's just getting the balance right. The thought of ever being the person that just tips someone 'over the edge' to a point where they do something life-threatening is a very scary thought to me.

[Miss Ivy Balls]

I personally think it's disgusting and it baffles me as to why some people do it, enjoy doing it, or don't seem to realise the full extent of the psychological damage they're doin

They don't realise at all.

I think it is why I'm the way I am today because of all the bullying.

I can't walk down the street without thinking someone is probably judging badly on my ginger hair or fatness. Going to the extreme, even my freckles. And If I wasn't made to feel like the way I do today by past bullying then I don't think I'd be as bad.

[_Seth]

Originally Posted by jedward fever

oh i hit 3 girls who were bullying me once ( they were in year 6 while i was in year 2) and i lost in the end because all 3 of them launched themselfs at me,but i sure did give them a fight.

Yeah but since there were two who were a lot older than you, the sexist pr!cks who say men shouldn't hit women would probably allow that.

Originally Posted by Thomas C

They don't realise at all.

I think it is why I'm the way I am today because of all the bullying.

I can't walk down the street without thinking someone is probably judging badly on my ginger hair or fatness. Going to the extreme, even my freckles. And If I wasn't made to feel like the way I do today by past bullying then I don't think I'd be as bad.

Maybe it's because of how weird you are... I mean look at your signature. Act like a normal person. You probably skip down the street in a dress. I'm not having a go at you.

[Vicky.]

Originally Posted by Phlip

Maybe it's because of how weird you are... I mean look at your signature. Act like a normal person. You probably skip down the street in a dress. I'm not having a go at you.

Being weird is not an excuse to pick on someone.

[Miss Ivy Balls]

Originally Posted by Phlip

Yeah but since there were two who were a lot older than you, the sexist pr!cks who say men shouldn't hit women would probably allow that.


Maybe it's because of how weird you are... I mean look at your signature. Act like a normal person. You probably skip down the street in a dress. I'm not having a go at you.

Being weird isn't an excuse to bully someone and I don't think you can define normal. We're all different.

[LemonJam]

I used to stand up for kids that did get bullied at school because I didn't like people being picked on over something that they are. Of course in turn this never really made me very popular but I'd rather be disliked for that than following the crowd.

[Vicky.]

Teachers are useless at spotting/stopping bullying IMO. They always seem to be on the side of the bullies. Some girl got her collarbone broke at our school, after 2 girls jumped on her (for seemingly no reason...even if there was a reason, 2 on one is pathetic) and she bust one of their noses trying to defend herself. And the teacher actually put the girl in detention for hitting back. Pathetic.

Primary schools are no different. Me and gav are having a bit of a problem with this right now. His oldest son, is 7 and is getting picked on at school. gavin has been up numerous times about it, only to be told that everytime he gets hit, noone is looking so they cant do anything. Despite the other kids telling the teachers who it is, and other kids also getting hit off the same person. We think the teacher is scared of the kids mother. Shes a beast, and a big mouth

I'm in a really bad situation though, because usually my way of sorting this as it has gone on too long, would be to confront the mother of the little bastard. But, I'm currently waiting on my police check coming through (which needs to be clear so I can get my personal license for a bar). And I KNOW that if I speak to her it will end in a fight, shes just one of those types. I dont care about that as I am more than capable of handling myself, and she would soon realise she has tried it with the wrong person, but IF the police get involved, theres my chance of getting a bar ****ed.

Teachers dont give a **** about the kids, they just want an easy life. Why worry if some child is getting hit...when if you step in and do something about it you might get a mouthful off some bitch?

[Jack_]

Originally Posted by Vicky.

Teachers dont give a **** about the kids, they just want an easy life.

I agree with this - all they care about is their pay cheque at the end of the month. I find it laughable that some [or most] teachers, especially heads of years stand there and say 'we want you to do well because we care about you'. Do you ***** - you just want to impress the boss and couldn't care less what happens, so long as you get paid.

I also find it laughable that some people that work in schools essentially get paid for shouting at kids [the people who work in Behaviour Departments etc]. What sort of job is that?