[caprimint]

Originally Posted by T*

My family isn't religious either.

Wasn't saying that, my point was that you more than likely follow their tradition rather than deciding for yourself given your age as well (without sounding patronizing).

[Crimson Dynamo]

Originally Posted by caprimint

No...it's pointless unless you are religious.

Incorrect, it is life affirming to recognise what has come before you, its nothing to do with religion, its about being alive

[Brother Leon]

Yeah. Along with a couple Friends that I miss dearly.

[Jessica.]

I used to visit my father's grave around two or three times a year as a child but I haven't in about 8 years at this stage. My grandfather (his dad) ended up being buried with him against my mother's and siblings will, I wasn't close to that man so it just feels spoiled and not special now.

[kirklancaster]

No. I am a (unorthodox) Christian, so to me, they are no longer there, only what remains of their physical bodies. I get the respect aspect and laying of flowers etc, and that is fine by me because I would never try to impose my beliefs on anyone else or criticise something as highly personal as someone else's customs concerning passed relatives, but I actually 'talk' to my passed relatives - and friends - virtually daily and they are just as often in my thoughts.

[Tom4784]

No, I don't see the point as the person is gone and I don't find comfort in visiting the holes where their ashes are buried. I don't need to visit a grave to show my respects.

[T*]

Yes every time it's his Birthday/Death anniversary
It's 2 days out your year to show your respect and so I do it

[Marsh.]

It's just a place to go with a pretty headstone in their memory. Doesn't have to have any religious connotations. For some people it's just a nice little tribute/memorial for them.

[Crimson Dynamo]

In Italy the headstones have photos on of the person, its a lovely idea

[T*]

Originally Posted by LeatherTrumpet

In Italy the headstones have photos on of the person, its a lovely idea

Some do over here too, it's nice

[Jamie89]

I never have, the relatives I've had who have died have been cremated. I've never visited where their ashes have been scattered though.

[Vicky.]

No. I am not religious in the slightest. Obviously most can tell the rest of my opinion from this little snippet...so I won't go into it as its rather insensitive to those who do visit graves.

[LaLaLand]

Yes we always make sure to go birthdays/Christmas with flowers and like every few weeks just to tidy up and clean and what not.

Very calming places cemeteries. I just go and sit somedays thinking!

[kirklancaster]

Originally Posted by Jonnii

Yes we always make sure to go birthdays/Christmas with flowers and like every few weeks just to tidy up and clean and what not.

Very calming places cemeteries. I just go and sit somedays thinking!

Graveyards are one of my favourite places too Jonnii. They are restful, often tranquil places, but I like to look at the inscriptions on the really old headstones because they are fascinating.

I write, and I've drawn inspiration for two horror stories (one published) from old headstones.

I don't know if you have heard of the Beatles (some haven't these days) but they took the name Eleanor Rigby from a headstone in a Liverpool Cemetery.

[Firewire]

Most of my deceased relatives were cremated. If anyone is to be buried in the future though I would visit them. The amount of times would increase based on how close I was to them.

I don't think it has anything to do with religion.

[Calderyon]

Yes, every Christmas.

[Ninastar]

No I don't and I should really. I just find it really uncomfortable.

[smudgie]

Nope.
My memories and the love in my heart for them is enough.
I send off money to charities that meant something personal to each of my departed loved ones, Christmas presents for them sort of.

Oops, my poor dad is still in the wardrobe nearly 7 years after he has passed.

[kirklancaster]

Originally Posted by smudgie

Nope.
My memories and the love in my heart for them is enough.
I send off money to charities that meant something personal to each of my departed loved ones, Christmas presents for them sort of.

Oops, my poor dad is still in the wardrobe nearly 7 years after he has passed.

[Ashley.]

I visit my sister's grave every once in a while. I talk about the day I've had, the latest on the streets, the conversations I feel like we'd be having if she was still alive. And that may not mean anything to some people, but it means everything to me x

[Niamh.]

Originally Posted by Ashley.

I visit my sister's grave every once in a while. I talk about the day I've had, the latest on the streets, the conversations I feel like we'd be having if she was still alive. And that may not mean anything to some people, but it means everything to me x

I don't think it means nothing to people Ashley, I think people are just saying they might feel better doing that elsewhere. For me the graveyard is such a cold place and a reminder of death more than the life of the person, if you know what I mean? But it's obviously a completely personal thing.

Also, sorry about your sister, she must have been pretty young

[Ashley.]

Originally Posted by Niamh.

I don't think it means nothing to people Ashley, I think people are just saying they might feel better doing that elsewhere. For me the graveyard is such a cold place and a reminder of death more than the life of the person, if you know what I mean? But it's obviously a completely personal thing.

Also, sorry about your sister, she must have been pretty young

Exactly, that's why I'm a little shocked at seeing a couple of people trying to debate it...

She was one of a kind.

Originally Posted by Ammi

..Ashley......that's it really isn't it...grief is so individual to everyone and how we remember and how we respect and love in death is also so individual and it's whatever has great meaning to us...there is no meaningless because it's whatever meaning each of us give things...

Couldn't have put it better myself, Ammi xx

[Josy]

Yes I do, I personally find it helps to deal with things better if you have a memorial area for them (but then everyone's different I guess), somewhere to go and think about things, leave them flowers etc, of course I can do all this at home too or anywhere else but it's nice to have a specific place dedicated to them IMO.

I visit my mum and brothers graves every few weeks, tidy the place up refresh the flowers and so on and we also visit on every special occasion like birthdays, anniversaries and Christmas day.

We have our own little traditions for remembering people too, during the Christmas period I have memory candles that get lit and on New Years Day after weve had dinner we let off lanterns for our deceased loved ones with little messages wrote on them, again not everyones cup of tea but it's our thing and we enjoy doing it.

[Ammi]

Originally Posted by Ashley.

I visit my sister's grave every once in a while. I talk about the day I've had, the latest on the streets, the conversations I feel like we'd be having if she was still alive. And that may not mean anything to some people, but it means everything to me x

..Ashley......that's it really isn't it...grief is so individual to everyone and how we remember and how we respect and love in death is also so individual and it's whatever has great meaning to us...there is no meaningless because it's whatever meaning each of us give things...

[Amy Jade]

I go with my mum and Nan to my aunties and grandads grave every week in the nicer months but soon we will go every other week because my mum likes to put artificial christmassy wreaths on. My uncle is in a different cemetary and it's quite far away so we go on birthday and christmas.

My auntie loved flowers so it feels nice putting them on her grave, I always think she'd be made up with a bunch of flowers. I understand when people don't want to go or don't feel the need to but I always feel quite sad when we go and see a grave with nothing on, seems abandoned although I never judge.