[user104658]

Originally Posted by Kizzy

obviously these two had a very volatile relationship, in this disgusting media circus there are no innocents both have been exposed. Neither are shrinking violets, Winona Ryder and Kate Moss weren't either.. if you attract chaotic people and have turbulent love affairs then the lines of who did what to whom and why are going to get blurred.

I think this sort of flirts with the victim-blaming line to be honest Kizzy, which you can see quite clearly if you flip the script. Women who end up in abusive marriages quite often have a history of the same sort of aggressive, abusive boyfriends. Women who get out of abusive relationships quite often, sadly, end up going into yet another abusive relationship after finding themselves drawn once again to the same sort of person, believing that it'll be different.

There are obviously good, very explainable psychological reasons for that and it would be abhorrent for anyone to take an abused woman and say "Umm you've been with this sort of bloke before so you should have known what would happen".

You can only take things for what they are. Maybe some people are attracted to very "intense" individuals. It doesn't make it their fault if they're abused, lessen the severity, or make it questionable. I really can't see the semantic difference in saying "if you attract chaotic women" and "if you attract aggressive men".