[Kizzy]

Originally Posted by Toy Soldier

I think this sort of flirts with the victim-blaming line to be honest Kizzy, which you can see quite clearly if you flip the script. Women who end up in abusive marriages quite often have a history of the same sort of aggressive, abusive boyfriends. Women who get out of abusive relationships quite often, sadly, end up going into yet another abusive relationship after finding themselves drawn once again to the same sort of person, believing that it'll be different.

There are obviously good, very explainable psychological reasons for that and it would be abhorrent for anyone to take an abused woman and say "Umm you've been with this sort of bloke before so you should have known what would happen".

You can only take things for what they are. Maybe some people are attracted to very "intense" individuals. It doesn't make it their fault if they're abused, lessen the severity, or make it questionable. I really can't see the semantic difference in saying "if you attract chaotic women" and "if you attract aggressive men".

Victim blaming?...

As I've said before the verdict there's the insistence he is 100% the victim here, you might have cemented that in your mind..it doesn't naturally follow everyone else has.

There is no 'script' no relationship is uniformly like another. I appreciate that women can be abusers which seems to be what the last couple of posts are hammering home. As I said we don't as yet know this is the case as there have been accusations from both parties of abuse in this ongoing case.

I really don't like the way you are attempting to put words in my mouth here, I'm not blaming either party until the trial is over.

My point there was if you are chaotic and have a certain lifestyle you meet like minded people, the relationships can be passionate, intense but burn out. That MAY be the case here. I'm just taking part in a debate about it and that is my opinion at the moment based on the findings so far.