[Redway]

Originally Posted by Soldier Boy

Bit of a dual answer here. If something is said in confidence then I will keep it that way - with the caveat of understanding that if you tell me something, you are telling both me and my wife that thing. We talk about literally everything. Essentially it's not just that I might tell her, I 100% definitely will tell her, and vice versa. However for both of us, it will go no further than that.

I think that should generally be assumed of most long term/married couples, though.

I know a lot of people do that but I still don’t understand it. Your spouse doesn’t have to know the ins and outs of other people’s lives. They’re not married to them.

[user104658]

Originally Posted by Redway

I know a lot of people do that but I still don’t understand it. Your spouse doesn’t have to know the ins and outs of other people’s lives. They’re not married to them.

When you've been married for 15 years (and are close) you become sort of a hive mind. I don't have to tell her anything, we just... do talk about everything. I just tend to assume that if I tell a friend who is married something, then their partner will also know about it, and that's fine. If it was then spread any further than that from either of them, I wouldn't be happy.

[Redway]

Originally Posted by Soldier Boy

When you've been married for 15 years (and are close) you become sort of a hive mind. I don't have to tell her anything, we just... do talk about everything. I just tend to assume that if I tell a friend who is married something, then their partner will also know about it, and that's fine. If it was then spread any further than that from either of them, I wouldn't be happy.

I wouldn’t be happy with someone’s spouse who doesn’t know me and isn’t anything to do with me becoming privy to personal information second-hand but then worse stuff happens behind closed doors, and spouses aren’t always comfortable doing secrets. But if it went any further than that without a good reason you’d probably be dead to me from that point. And if you work in an environment where confidentiality’s important then the information generally stays within those four walls and then you go home. I wouldn’t be telling my spouse about that or expect them to feel entitled to know just because we’re married.

[thesheriff443]

Originally Posted by Redway

I wouldn’t be happy with someone’s spouse who doesn’t know me and isn’t anything to do with me becoming privy to personal information second-hand but then worse stuff happens behind closed doors, and spouses aren’t always comfortable doing secrets. But if it went any further than that without a good reason you’d probably be dead to me from that point. And if you work in an environment where confidentiality’s important then the information generally stays within those four walls and then you go home. I wouldn’t be telling my spouse about that or expect them to feel entitled to know just because we’re married.

People don’t need to know you to have an opinion of you
The old saying first impressions count, comes to mind

The only way to guarantee your personal information doesn’t get shared is not to share it.

By posting your views and and sharing information on here people will have an opinion of you

The only way you give people power over you is by actually caring what they think

[Redway]

Originally Posted by thesheriff443

People don’t need to know you to have an opinion of you
The old saying first impressions count, comes to mind

The only way to guarantee your personal information doesn’t get shared is not to share it.

By posting your views and and sharing information on here people will have an opinion of you

The only way you give people power over you is by actually caring what they think

First impressions count alright. Some people are incapable of letting them go even after they’ve gotten to know the person a little bit better.

[thesheriff443]

Originally Posted by Redway

First impressions count alright. Some people are incapable of letting them go even after they’ve gotten to know the person a little bit better.

Hope you are not referring to me

I did want to ask you?

You are clearly an intelligent man , why are you struggling with your finance’s
You should be in a well paid job

[Redway]

Originally Posted by thesheriff443

Hope you are not referring to me

I did want to ask you?

You are clearly an intelligent man , why are you struggling with your finance’s
You should be in a well paid job

I wasn’t referring to you. Don’t worry.

You could’ve asked me about this in the actual thread but let’s just say that’s what accumulated debt and loans from years ago can do to you. I’ve just about managed to clear off most of it but I’ve still got a long way to go before I can say I’m happy with my state of finances again.