[Angus]

Originally Posted by InOne

Awwww damn, sounds like you hard a rough time . It's good you managed to get out in the end though. Yours seems like an almost textbook case. Start off as Mr Charming and then all these little things build up until it eventually grinds you down. That is the thing with whole whole 'bad upbringing' thing, people use that as an excuse, but in reality, plenty of people have bad childhoods and still turn out to be nice people.

I read an interesting book called 'Without Conscience' about Psychopaths and the way they work, I can only imagine it must've been terrible to live with such a destructive person in your life. I mean, from the outside, people can easily say, "Oh well I would've got out there a lot earlier". But like you said, unless they've been in that situation they will never understand the power someone like that can have over you. I mean I guess it's better late than never in your case, as in it happened all so subtly, that you didn't realise it until it was nearly too late. Most people don't think these type of people exist, they think they're a myth or something, and they're like "Oh well it wouldn't happen to me" But it's all very real.

I'll have a read of that book if I can get a copy because it does seem abusers all seem to use the same modus operandi: divide and conquer - separate and dominate. The key thing is cutting your victim off from any outside support.

I just look upon it now as a bad part of my life that is all in the past - and at the end of the day something good came out of the marriage - my children. The fact I can talk about those events so dispassionately just shows how far I've come It's almost like they happened to someone else.